Anyone else ever made the decision to stop seeing a young GC and his mother?

Sorry ReadyMeals I can't help you as I have not had to do that. I'm sorry things have got so bad you feel this is the only way to go.
Don't rush into anything final, take time to think things through. I hope someone can offer more advice.

I expect you have already thought hard about this but are you sure there isn’t any way in which you and your child and partner can resolve this before things go as far as you choosing or having to choose not to see your grandchild?

We've spent 4 years trying to resolve whatever it is - basically since she had my grandson. That's what she says she is trying to do "sort things out" when she starts the communications. Mostly her ranting about me and her own family and friends, and my son (her ex) round and round in circles and repeating herself and me appeasing and sympathising and apologising. She often switches her target mid-discussion and suddenly it's her parents who are the villains instead, or my son, or some other friend of hers. She's fine when she actually visits, weirdly, but as soon as she gets home she starts again. I am pretty sure there must be something wrong with her, and so I have tried to be reassuring and patient and it usually calms her down short-term, but it always starts again. She texts faster than I can read and I don't know she does it! And sometimes she carries on all night even if I don't reply. Also she doesn't like me seeing my own daughter and I am scared to tell her if I am going to do so as it sets her off again, complaining I don't care about her as much as my own daughter. And she's started demanding expensive gifts and saying the children are not allowed gifts unless she gets them. (that is my grandson and his older sister). At some point during all this my son and I have lost contact - I think he resents that I tried to stay in contact with her and the children, but he won't tell anyone why so it's just a guess.

Anyway basically the problem I have is I do actually care about her - she's obviously very needy - but think it's affecting my own health now, as I feel as if I have been in brainwashing.

Snap Readymeals.....I am right in the middle of the same dilemma. My d.i.l. hates me. She picks on me like a bully in a school playground. You can see my story on the other estrangement threads. I am just fed up to the back teeth. I don't get to see the grandchildren much anyway (their choice, not mine). So perhaps, making a clean break would be much easier on my health (I have a lung condition called Bronchiectasis) . The cough gets worse if I'm stressed. I don't think I have a choice anyway, bcos I don't think my son cares much for me either and I am therefore on a lose-lose situation.
All the best xx

Well it's always reassuring to know one's not the only one going through it, even though of course we wouldn't wish it on anyone else. Anyway since I last posted, she's unfriended me everywhere yet again, which means I get a break for at least a while...

She's your ex daughter inlaw, so prob easier to get out of your life......of course, she holds the trump card, your GC.
It seems her behaviour is odd to say the least. You are not the only one she rants about...she rants about her own family. In my case, I am the target, no one else. I can't think of anything I've done to I still such hatred.

All this is so sad for all of us here. You

Ready-Meals I have a relative like this and I would get raving phone calls that would go on for a hour or two. My elderly mother was getting them too. In the end I stopped answering my phone and was lucky to live a long way away. I knew it was alcohol related.

Now your DIL has unfriended you don’t let her back in. If she is close enough to visit you occasionally it won’t be so bad because in future you won’t answer your phone or any texts or messages. Low Contact instead of No Contact might be the way to go. If you are enjoying your peace and don’t want anymore ranting from your DIL go No Contact.

If I was a person who prayed I think I would go on my hands and knees to say thank you for my normal adult children and their spouses. It’s not always perfect and we all say our piece sometimes but I have enough odd, nasty and crazy relatives to know what others have to endure.

I will add I was very sad to lose full contact with this relative, if I see her now we chat and get on really well but it’s not very often. We were very close and I loved her like a daughter.

She does abit, erm, odd.
Does your son see his child? Could you get back in contact with your son and see your GC that way?

My son visits them briefly once a month (when she allows it), but it's not a very happy visit usually, and the children have to endure the mother ranting the entire time. The little boy is not allowed to see him alone. Complicated by the fact that although for simplicity I refer to her as dil in fact they never married and my son's name is not on his birth certificate - they each claim it was the other's decision. Currently my son is not answering any attempt at communication from me. I particularly feel for excluded grandparents who had an one time looked after their grandchild or lived with them, as they once had a close attachment that was broken, but what makes it a little easier for me is I only saw my grandson for about 3 hours 5 times a year, and although on one level I love him to bits, we never had the chance to grow a deep attachment to each other.

Anyway, in a way this thread is now moot, since almost as I was typing, she was busy blocking me, so I don't have that decision to make for the time being!

I haven’t personally had any experience of this but one of my good friends has. In the end both she and her son decided that, for the sake of their sanity and the children’s well being they would withdraw.
When he was 18 the eldest boy made contact and they now have a great relationship. It’s sad that this had to happen and my friend and the children missed out on so much.
She sent cards and letters up to the time that the eldest became 18. Her Gchildren were 6and 8 when this happened so did have memories of her.
The exDIL is still a nightmare.
Good luck