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I feel I am living in a prison

(80 Posts)
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Baggs Wed 21-Mar-18 15:12:42

Can you not just go out without saying anything?

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chelseababy Wed 21-Mar-18 15:09:28

I imagine he was looking forward to spending more texpensive with you and has overdone it. Could you have set days to "do your own thing" and days for joint ventures? I had a discussion with my oh at the weekend because I work part time and happily fill my other days. We are both going to leave work in the autnext and are going to write a wish list of trips etc. I did state ghats I still want to meet my friends for lunch etc - he wants to go fishing and spend more time at the allotment. Your current set up is claustrophobic and can't continue.

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MissAdventure Wed 21-Mar-18 15:05:05

I'm not surprised you feel overwhelmed!
Hopefully others here will have some good advice for you. You have my sympathies!

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Bridgeit Wed 21-Mar-18 15:04:42

Sorry to read this,Tuppence21, well it goes without saying that your situation cannot keep going like this,.I believe you do need to make a stand & tell him you will not accept this way of living & that if he cannot give you a good explanation where by you can talk it out & find a compromise then you will refuse to have him go anywhere with you. He needs to be honest to himself & with you , good luck

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Tuppence21 Wed 21-Mar-18 14:57:36

For many years I held a responsible job which took me all over the world and meant I was away for up to two weeks at a time. This was mainly after my children had grown up and left home. My husband who had to take early retirement for health reasons did not mind this and we had a comfortable lifestyle.
Now I am retired and my husband insists we go everywhere together. Although he still goes out alone if I want to go for a coffee with friends I face an inquisition and he has even suggested he comes with me when I go to the hairdressers! If I arrange to go out whilst he is out he suggests cancelling his arrangements to come with me.
I find the whole thing oppressive and the daily bickering about this is getting me down. We have very little to talk about now and I think the situation is unhealthy. I enjoy our outings together and we go out regularly every week but would still like time with my girlfriends and siblings. My adored Mum is in her nineties and not in good health but I cannot even visit her alone and need time with her in the final years.
This may sound selfish to widows and divorcees but I cannot take much more. I have tried talking, pleading and, sadly, shouting but nothing seems to improve the situation.
I would just go away for a couple of days but am terrified he would call the police if he didn't know exactly where I was.

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