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Being criticised when ill

(71 Posts)
rentawitch Mon 26-Mar-18 10:40:27

Very rude. My house is always untidy. Real friends dont care.

luluaugust Mon 26-Mar-18 10:40:21

What a cheek, my house is often untidy but I don't need telling. I agree best to say nothing unless you intend to muck in and even then not by that kind of remark. Get well soon and then you can have "pleasure" of tidying up.

Scribbles Sun 25-Mar-18 18:58:15

Hard to believe how rude and hurtful some people can be! Jette, first of all, take care of yourself, be gentle with yourself and try not to take such an insensitive remark to heart. But yes, I'd probably be upset in the circumstances (and my house is always untidy). Get well soon and remember: it's only housework! flowers

paddyann Sun 25-Mar-18 18:50:56

its your house if she doesn't like how it looks she doesn't have to come back ...simple.People come to see me/us not our house or what we have in it.A real friend would understand you were ill and offer help not criticism

allsortsofbags Sun 25-Mar-18 17:21:06

Luckygirl said what I was thinking. How Rude. Well said everyone.

So sad you've been ill for so long. Get yourself well and then think about what nice things you'd like to do, do them first, the housework will still be there.

If there's no offer of help from critics ignore them, it's their problem not yours. But I understand how easy it is to feel hurt and I hope what the GN's folks say helps you feel less hurt.

Get well soon flowers

nanaK54 Sun 25-Mar-18 17:00:39

What a mean thing to say to you, hope you are soon fighting fit flowers

LynneB59 Sun 25-Mar-18 17:00:21

That person was rather judgemental.... and also unhelpful. It might have been kind of them to have offered to help tidy the place when you're not well. If it were me, I'd cut contact with them (if it's family, I'd certainly have told them what I thought).

Situpstraight Sun 25-Mar-18 16:55:57

I’m with Blinko, whoever critisises my house had better have a duster or hoover in their hand and be prepared to use it.

Blinko Sun 25-Mar-18 16:20:30

I think it would be very rude to comment on someone else's house, whatever the circumstances. Best ignored, imo.

Jane10 Sun 25-Mar-18 16:17:03

I was once very upset to be told that my house was untidy by a close family member. I took it to heart at the time. However, in retrospect, when I consider that I was working full time, was the bread winner, had 2 children under 4 and life was a mad rush getting everything done that needed done far less looked neat and tidy, I should have been proud of myself and not ashamed. Other people eh?!

M0nica Sun 25-Mar-18 15:46:27

Treat the incident and the person with the contempt it and they deserve.

Nannarose Sun 25-Mar-18 15:06:47

There's a little family anecdote, which includes my Nanny coming round one day when I was very small. As she walked in, she noticed the house looked a bit neglected and said to my mum 'Either you or the baby are ill, what do you want me to start on?'
Only someone that close can 'criticise' and only then if prepared to help.

Luckygirl Sun 25-Mar-18 14:27:13

How dare they!!!

If they knew you had been ill they should have jolly well rolled up their sleeves and helped you!!!

Blooming cheek! smile

BlueBelle Sun 25-Mar-18 13:38:52

Well a real friend wouldn’t critisise your house even if it was in a bad state which I m sure it probably wasn’t but no decent person would say anything So it’s her/ his problem not yours

Eglantine21 Sun 25-Mar-18 13:32:15

Some people just open their mouths and out it pops! I have been told that my house is too bare. She meant it didn't look the way she wants her house to look.
Visit her and tell her that her house looks impersonal and not at all homely. grin

Nannylovesshopping Sun 25-Mar-18 13:22:03

Oh dear Jette sorry you have been so poorly and hope you are on the mend now. I am just recovered after three weeks of the dreaded flu, knocked me off my feet completely, and I’m a tough old bird! My dear daughter jumped into action and her nurses uniform, and took over, I know I am very lucky, but, after a week wanted to tell her to sod off bossy boots and leave me alone!! I was extremely sensitive and so glad I didn’t tell her where to put her stethoscope! However sensitive or not, we do not want any criticism of our home at any time, my reaction would have been maybe you could do a quick tidy before you go!!flowerscupcake

Cherrytree59 Sun 25-Mar-18 13:15:07

flowers
Jette sorry you having been unwell.
Yes I would ignore and stick2 Fingers up
look after yourself.

If it was somebody I knew well I would probably have said 'feel free to tidy up
Or just make us both a cuppa and sit with me for a chat'.
Presumably the person came to see you not your home.

craftynan Sun 25-Mar-18 13:01:29

How awful of them, I’m assuming this was a visitor? If so, surely they came to see you and not your home. How are you supposed to keep on top of things when you are feeling so unwell? Take no notice and don’t criticise yourself for feeling upset. I hope you feel better soon flowers

GrandmaMoira Sun 25-Mar-18 12:59:17

It's always difficult being criticised and in this case the person was very unfair. I imagine you feel upset yourself that you are unable to keep your house as nicely as usual whilst you are ill and this just makes it worse. Please ignore them and hope you feel better soon.

farview Sun 25-Mar-18 12:58:57

It's probably because you've been poorly and are run down that you're feeling sensitive... ignore that stupid comment from a clearly insensitive person, when you're well you can tidy up...don't worry!! ?

Jette Sun 25-Mar-18 12:51:15

I have been ill for a month with UTI's followed by sickness
caused by antibiotics.Someone criticised my home yesterday for being untidy and I feel very upset and then feel silly for being so sensitive