How do I meet someone?

A divorced friend has met several men through the PoF dating site. All of them have been compulsive liars and have had varying degrees of secret lives running parallel with their PoF relationships. Some of the free dating sites seem to be populated with fairly dodgy men (and women too, perhaps, but I've only heard of this one friend's sad experiences). Perhaps the sites that you have to pay for encourage people to think a bit more carefully?

Good luck OP!

I divorced my ex for alcohol issues, then met another professional man who had the same issues, but tried harder to hide it, so he had to go too. I can’t help it but have a mental block on internet dating because of the horror stories you read, even tho logically there must be innumerable happy endings too. I am so blessed with a wonderful close family and many lovely friends, some back from school days 50 odd years ago ! I belong to a local MeetUp group, have friends from my old job too, married and single. I go out a lot, play badminton, theatre, opera, concerts, Singles Holidays plus holidays with my family etc and everyone says “ you will meet someone when you least expect it” ... I haven’t, but my life is so good in every other area, I just count my blessings now. One of my sons said “ you so deserve to meet someone nice” but the way I look at it is “ now that I am flying solo I am flying higher than ever as no one is dragging me down”. There is def a shortage of single middle aged men anyway, even on my singles tours there is always more women than men. I so hope you get lucky ...... and if he has an older brother .....

Well, you won't find anyone sitting at home unless it's through the internet so don't decry any women you may meet and accept invitations to everything, no matter how unsuitable they may seem at first. e.g. a village litter pick. Those women may have brothers or interesting neighbours who may be perfect for you. Get a dog too if you like animals to get you out of the house at least twice a day..

I met my 2nd husband through an internet dating site and it was the best thing (apart from my kids!) that I’ve ever done! I did however meet some unsuitables before hitting the jackpot! We are about to celebrate 10 years of marriage. Good luck!

After my divorce I went to Ceroc dancing classes. It was very sociable and you feel fine going by yourself. I made lots of new friends and eventually met a lovely man. The internet is fine but it is nice to meet people face to face.

Join local groups, evening classes, just meeting other people will lead to meeting men. (U3a will have a local list of their groups).
Get a dog
Good luck

I met my husband ( of 12 years) on the internet, and it was the best thing that I have ever done. I wasn’t interested in going to clubs or pubs, plus I had no one to go with, so it seemed the only way. I’m so glad that I did, and several of my friends have done the same. You might have to date a few frogs before you meet your prince, but nothing ventured nothing gained. Good luck.

If you are interested in Internet Dating, try "Illicit Encounters"
- this is a great online site for both married and non-married people

Create an interesting profile and a safe email address
- search their website for the "competition" to see what other women write !

You will be inundated with all sorts of offers from all sorts of men, so you will need to be brutal in rejecting anyone unsuitable. Please say "Thank you, but no thank you" to all the unsuitable ones. Only divorced, separated, widowed and otherwise single men will have time for evening meetings, weekends away and holidays together.

If you would really like to have a sexual relationship you might like to "try out" a few, as many men of your age talk big but few are able to "perform" satisfactorily. You might like to become a "cougar" and try out some "toy-boys" !

Always think about safety
- meet in safe public places
- maybe have a separate mobile phone
- have first "assignations" in a safe place like a hotel room
- don't give out your home address or phone number - call them back
- arrange for a friend to call to confirm that you are safe
- always practice safe sex, until you find "the one"
- be prepared to meet and kiss lots of frogs before you find your prince

If this appeals to you - it could be great fun !
.

Call me old- fashioned, but the idea of recommending illicit encounters has a tacky ring to it.
Breaking up marriages? Dating men who are looking for a bit on the side? Or worse?

This was not how I read OP’s original request which as I remember was for a nice man.

Probably lots of frogs on 'illicit encounters'. Complete with warts.

Yes, and think where those warts might be

Illicit Encounters?
OP wants a relationship. Not a bounce around a hotel room with a complete stranger.

The whole thing is a mindfield.....just be careful, so many liars out there

I met my lovely husband on an internet dating site when I was 59. I had been on the site (in NZ) for two years and was about to give up having met some "very nice but not right for me" men and also a lot of "drop-kicks". My DH's picture and profile looked so nice that I decided to have one last try. I'm very glad I did. We've been together for nine and a half years and married for six.

My advice is to be very clear about what you want in a man. I made a list of what I did and did not want, based on my previous marriage and made sure I stuck to it.

This list, by the way, was of qualities I would like in a man but also included the strange sounding requirement that he "smelt right". I also felt it was important to find a partner who could manage money as my ex was hopelessly and constantly in debt and still is.

When you do date anyone, be careful to stay safe and try to keep your bulls**t radar working. People used to tell me that I was too picky but the one time I tried not to be, my date turned out to be a liar and a cheat. Thank goodness I caught him out very quickly.

I have lots of advice on internet dating that I would be happy to share with you if you would like to pm me.

Here's wishing you all the best and lots of good times, colabottle

It may seem old fashioned Yours magazine seems to have a good meeting session , Also national social club Nexus is a good place to meet people and included in your membership is what they call ice breakers where you get a free profile for members to contact you

I am in the Rock Choir there are a lot of women in it as a smaller number of men many are single. Many relasonships are formed. It’s an easy choir to join you don’t have to audition or sing solo. It is a U.K. choir with 25000 members. The local one I go to has around 120 members many of whom have found their partner. Good luck.

I disagree CrazyDaisy keep an open mind colabottle you will be surprised by the people you meet.
My husband was the antithesis of what I thought I wanted but we have complemented each other and had such a different life from the one we expected.
Get involved with some social groups and meet different people, if you don't meet a life partner you may make good friends along the way.

You could try University of the Third Age. You can choose a subject that interests you so there is already a shared interest. Even if does not result in finding a new partner in the class, you will expand your group of acquaintances who will probably introduce you to their friends. Good luck!

I met my partner through MeetUps. At the time I was just looking to make friends rather than a relationship as I'd just moved into a new part of the country to build a new life for myself. They have so many interest groups, something for everyone, mostly mixed so it's not about dating. I sometimes think we met because I wasn't actually looking for anyone. But good luck. I hope someone wonderful comes your way.

find something you are interested in like to do or talk about. For me it is Terry Pratchett books.
Find a forum and join. get to know people on there and when you are ready, look out for or suggest a general meetup.
Or go to a convention for a certain author, tv programme or fandom. You will find loads of friends and maybe that special one.