Driving at speed.

Yes, I've had this problem too and reacted to what I perceived to be DH's late braking or driving too fast. One of his friends also commented on it, so not just me! I also think, because we are drivers ourselves (of many years), we can feel out of control, as we're only too aware when they should be slowing down.

DH often said 'how have I managed to drive for 50 years without a problem'? I replied 'how do I know you've seen the car in front is slowing/stopping. Should I just wait and see if you have an accident?' With the best will in the world, it's hard not to react when you feel you're about to crash! I also suspect he was doing it deliberately at times, until I told him he was scaring me, so now he is much better at 'anticipating', rather than speeding up to a car, that he can clearly see has slowed down, or come to a stop (at traffic lights for instance).

“On the ROAD” even not the poor “toad” ?

My DH does the same. He slows down at the last minute and gets too close to the car in front. When he learnt to drive, he was taught by a policeman, so he ought to be more aware, that is if he remembers his lessons. I can't help but comment either. Personally, I think he needs his eyes tested again!

Exceeding the speed limit seems to be a macho thing to do. And I dont think it is OK! A tyre can blow, there are other unpredictable idiots on the toad, you need to be prepared for the unexpected.
Being a “nervous”passenger is one thing, reminding him that is is not only dangerous to yourselves, but also to others and pointing out firmly that his reactions are not what they used to be seems to me imperative.
Yes he will probably take the huff but better that than kill someone.
If he truly thinks he is still a good driver treat him to an IAM assessment driving assessment and a course. You could point out that it can bring down his insurance -keep quiet about it also bringing down your blood pressure!

Twenty years ago DH worked abroad Monday to Friday and I used to collect him from Stansted airport late on a Friday night. It was an hour's drive home and both of us would be tired. He used to moan about my driving then. Our DD passed her driving test and I asked her instructor (a retired police motorcyclist) to assess my driving for an hour. Basically I was a safe driver no problems but I was knackering the gearbox going up and down through the gears as I had been taught 20 years earlier. I had a series of lessons in secret and took my ROSPA advanced drivers test passing at silver level. It was a bit of shock for DH when I told him and waved my certificate at him but he has not criticised my driving since.
I am not suggesting you try this but I do appreciate how difficult it is not to react when one is a passenger.

I NEVER exceed speed limits - and unfortunately that will sound a bit prissy, but that is just a reflection of how complacent people are about exceeding the limit. If someone said that they regularly shoplift, then it would be frowned on. It is breaking the law - end of.

I would simply refuse to get in the car with him. Let him go and kill himself and anyone else who gets in his way, but stay out of it.

I worked for a trauma service and know very well the reality of his foolhardy behaviour.

Close your eyes - you cannot be serious Eglantine - what other crimes should we close our eyes to?

Speed and braking when you are a passenger feels completely different to when you are the driver in control of the car.
A passenger flinching beside you makes the driver react, often inappropriately, by braking, swerving etc and is even more likely to cause an accident!
Close your eyes for the journey or look out of the side window not the front, but please don't try to drive the car unless you have the wheel

Is he beginning to worry that the time will come when he can't drive? My mam is like that. If I make a sound when she brakes to hard or gets a bit too close to another vehicle/object she goes ballistic telling me I'll make her have an accident one of these days (she even managed to blame me when she went the wrong way around a roundabout). I think they sometimes drive erratically just to prove they are still in control and still able to drive.