Only son syndrome?

No problems OurKid and no offence taken.

Sheila x

Folks might jeer and think about an only son being a mummy's boy. My mummy's boy met and bred with an absolute bunny boiler. Even her best friend tried to warn him off! Her previous conquest had a similar experience but managed to escape. I tried to "be nice" to her but everything was her terms - her way or absolutely no way, so we now just put up with the fall out from this corrosive last 10 years.

Sparkly100 I apologise for being suspicious.

My 2 DGMs were both antagonistic to their respective DiL and SiL, i.e. my parents. My paternal GM once said to my mum, after receiving a homemade cake from her 'oh thank you. It's NEARLY as good as the ones you can buy in the shops" It became a family catchphrase!. My maternal GM often accused dad of trying to poison her, even though he cared for her in our home after mum had died aged 48. We have 3 married children and love all the young-in-laws dearly. We also get on really well with the "other" parents. It's very good for the DGCs to feel this harmony in the family

My lovely MIL only had boys - it was a very male-atmosphere household. By the time she acquired a DiL or two I think she was just so pleased to have anyone who'd take the slightest interest in new kitchen curtains, etc.

I married an only son and had a hell of a life with my mother in law till she realsied she needed me in old age. Subsequent she ailienated herself from her grandsons who just about put up with her. She died in Feb and she is a miss from our lives but also a release.

I was very lucky with my mother in law. Se had two sons and said I was the daughter she wish she had had. I loved and admired her tremendously and now I have a daughter in law myself I try to treat her with love and respect for loving my boy as much as me. I am not so sure she feels the same about me as I did my mother in law yet but maybe one day!

I married an elder (not only) son and learned what it was never to be considered good enough - as did the wife of his younger brother. This taught me that if my own son liked a girl well enough to engage in an LTR it was up to me to find out her good points and make an effort!

There is not one serious girlfriend of my now thirty seven year old only son (with whom I believe I have a very good but not stifling relationship) who I would not have welcomed as a DIL. But I have to admit that the latest one, who looks as though she may stay the course, is probably the best of all. Fingers crossed I may get lucky and become her MIL. I hope she will be prepared to put up with me....

M0nica I think that my MIL felt the same about me - thank goodness she's taking him off our hands at last

I am so grateful to my DIL, at one time I thought my DS would be at home for ever.
Lovely though he is, we did look forward to 'our own time'.

OurKid1, my original name was judypark and I changed it because I was too identifiable, especially with posts now appearing on FB.
This is only the second time I've initiated a post on GN, the last being for advice on a terminally ill friend.
On the back of a currently active thread I was genuinely interested in the experiences of others.
My hope is to read of the honest opinions of other GNs.
I do not have any ulterior motive nor wish advice or condonement.
I thought this would open up an interesting thread and considering the varied and many responses it has.

My reaction is a couple of posts above yours gummybear and I think it is just that some people get on and others don't.

Is there any explanation for this claimed "son preference" by mothers? I see it referred to in a lot of places, amd was told growing up that it was a fact of life. But I was being raised by a bunch of fruitloops, so I was never sure that it was generally true. Any insight from your life experiences, ladies?

When my brand new DH did the same with his shoes, I pointed out that my father counted shoe cleaning as one of his jobs. It was a purely academic argument anyway as no one had given us shoe cleaning kit for a wedding present and we had none.

On the first evening back from our honeymoon my exH placed his shoes outside our bedroom door, on enquiring why he had done this he said that his mother always cleaned them ready for the next day. I told him where he could stick his shoe brushes and tin of Kiwi polish.
Shortly afterwards I was pressing his trousers and was told that I didn't do them like his mother did. I screwed them up and threw them back in the ironing pile and told him that next time his mum came round she could have the honour of pressing them.

I'm wondering what the OP's original Gransnet name was ... I'm sure I've seen this type of post recently. That long thread about apologies anyone? Just saying ... and wondering what responses the OP is hoping to get and why.

A tiny voice in the wilderness. My MiL, never gave me the impression, that I was not good enough for her son and as far as my son is concerned I cannot believe that someone as lovely as my DDiL was prepared to take him on.

My husband's mother died when he was seventeen so I never met her. He was an only son and I sometimes wonder what she would have been like. I'll never know!

I tried so hard with my DiL until the day she handed my S a list of all his faults. There were about twenty things that, according to her, were wrong with him. Trivial things like not liking the way he dressed or danced. She said he was anti social and lacking ambition and confidence. (All untrue by the way.) After reading the list he nearly had a nervous breakdown. If that’s not controlling then I don’t know what is.

When I was a child it was commonly said in the west of Scotland that no woman every considers any girl a suitable wife for her son.

My mother never considered any man suitable for either my sister or myself.

Danish has a proverb that says that a mother-in-law is only able to get on with her son's wife if there are seven churches' parishes between their dwelling places.

Some things never change!

Mine offered H ten grand to not marry me and move back home to live in the childhood home.

If she'd offer me ten grand for him now, I'd probably snatch her hand off

...you have to laugh, or you'd go mad...

My late MIL had two sons, the eldest of whom often behaved as if he was an only son (a 'me first, me, me, me' type of character, I bet you know one too). He was spoiled, I think as a result of MIL and FIL pandering to him to make up for not getting on with him very well. MIL never got on with his wife either, couldn't 'warm' to her and she seemed to bring out the worst in BIL. A psychiatrist would have had a field day with them.

OMG how awful! Mine was similar, but it was because when we first met I had a broad Yorkshire accent, and I hadn't got a degree, I was just a nurse! I tried very hard to begin with, but when my hubby announced that it would improve 'when we had children', I just lost it and said it will be too late by then! Anyway we had said children, one daughter was the spit of her Dad as a baby, and one was red haired like me, she has never got on with her because of that! She once said to me 'are we never going to be friends?' I said, 'well you don't like me' to which she answered 'oh no, B and I think you are highly intelligent and very efficient'! Ha, ha, and proceeded to do hubbies ironing and leaving mine in the basket! I left him in the end so now she is happy he has a new wife who doesn't mind him working all hours God sends and him seeing his kids once every 6 months with an expensive present!

sheilasue I am so very sorry to read of what happened with your son.