Only son syndrome?

The poor boys, the minute their mothers turn their backs, off they go and find the most spiteful, controlling and jealous girlfriend they can find.

And then they marry her!

I’m surprised the mothers let the boys out after reading some of the threads on GN.

My mother was the same with my brother though and his wife seemed fine to me, but according to DM no one could look after him the way she did!

Parents should also warn their daughters about the pitfalls of marrying only sons. I did and got the MIL from Hell, although I must say he was worth it.

Only joking I know many wives to only sons who get on extremely well with their MILs (or should that be MsIL?)

I was married to the eldest of 3 DS and not my Mil’s favourite even? but she hated me from day one. I can honestly say that I tried hard to please her (at first) but she constantly sniped and made disparaging comments even going so far as to ring my own parents to try and run me down? Her issue was essentially that she disapproved of me continuing my degree, subsequent law qualifications and finally my career. Her stated view was that a wife’s place was in the home and that a wife should “obey” her husband! Her other objection was that I wore make up (thereby making me a floozy) and that I prepared spicy food and exotic cuisine?
In her opinion my DH should divorce me and find a nice homely girl she approved of (something she actually said) fortunately my DH was a modern man and not stuck in a previous generation so he supported me. Her venom though was boundless she tried getting me dismissed from my first firm by calling and saying I was of bad character and would bring them into disrepute and later called our health visitor to say I was an unfit parent and that she wanted to apply to have the children live with her! None of this obviously worked and in the end I had nothing to do with her and did not see her for over 20 years before she died
I believe she had a poor relationship with son number 2’s wife during their short lived marriage but got on OK with DIL of 3rd son who married quite late. Maybe she had learned her lesson by then?

I think that if you only have one child, then you probably invest a lot more sentimental feelings in them ( I understand why) but even if you have more than one, a lot of mothers do seem to favour sons more than daughters when it comes to marriage.

Er sometimes an only son marries the youngest princess in a family of all daughters and discovers that no one has ever said "no" to her...

My mother in law, who could be evil or lovely, once told me that nobody was good enough for her boys. I rather admired her honesty!

I'm not the mother of an only son - I have two - but the daughter of an only son. I know that my poor mum was never good enough for my GM, her MiL. He was a graduate and very clever; she was 'only' a qualified hairdresser. They were a happy and devoted couple for 43 years, until my mum died at 73. I don't think granny ever really forgave her for having 3 daughters and no sons, though her own daughter was in the same boat!

Well, I married an only child and got the gentlest, kindest and most loving of MiL's as a result.

I believe if DH had told her when he was 16 that he was emigrating to Australia she would have helped him achieve his ambition and only cried when he had gone.

She was a lovely, lovely lady and I consider myself very fortunate to have had her as my MiL

My MIL was a pain to me although she was nice to the grandchildren when they were small but nasty tongued to them when they were teenagers/older when she thought they didn't see her enough . Her son was an only child and although I tried hard with my marriage I divorced her son eventually because he was abusive. My FIL however was always wonderful to me saying when we got married he'd always wanted a daughter and now he had one.

maybe some of those MIL should think that THEY raised these sons who married the "awful" DIL.Maybe they didn't do as good a job as they thought if their sons hudgement is so bad .

At the end of the day, people are people. Some are inherently nice and pleasant and others are unpleasant. This will apply whether they are DMs, MiLs or neither.

From my observations many of those who complain of a controlling SIL or DIL are themselves controlling people who resent that they have lost control of their children to another person.

As far as the daughter or son is concerned they have simply swapped one controlling relationship for another. It's what they're used to and often feel comfortable with.

I adore my DIL.
My MIL (mother of 1 son and 1 daughter) liked me at first, then didn't like me once we got married, liked me once I produced grandchildren, adored me when she was widowed 'You're like a daughter to me', and when I was divorced had no contact with me or the children.
I have no idea if she knows she is a great-grandma.

Oh my goodness Hm999, but I know the feeling. I too was the bees knees for 22 years. When my youngest of 3 children was 14, I told MIL that I had decided to return to University to do a degree in nursing.
DH had just purchased and was running his own printing company,
I was told that I was a disloyal wife and "who was going to clean his factory's toilets every day"?
Fast forward 22 years, I completed my course,, met a wonderful man 17 years my junior. We are still very happily together.

My Nan used to come round once a week, and sit with her coat on, clutching her handbag like a shield.
The only good she could find to say about my mum was that she "had a good pair of legs".

What is this so called "Only son syndrome" for goodness sake? People are people with all the character flaws entailed in being human in a fallen world. Those flaws will show in a myriad of ways depending on the circumstances. Perhaps one of those flaws could well be never seeing the good in anyone.

Only one of my children is a son and he is married to the most wonderful young woman who is a good and loyal wife, a super mum and a fabulous DDIL. We are blessed to have her and love her to bits and our son is one of the most fortunate of men.

MissAdventure my very modest and shy mother was less fortunate than yours as her MIL praised her "good child bearing hips" to all and sundry!

I can't imagine mother in laws getting away with it these days, synonymous.
Your poor mum!

I am afraid DM didn't like her MIL every much but she was always patient and nice to her albeit through gritted teeth! Amazing really as my GM also said things like, "Poor soul, she does her best" Fortunately my mother and I were able to have a very good laugh about it all - sometimes with the tears rolling down our cheeks as she was such a good mimic. Funnily enough I loved them both in spite of the 'verbals'!

My mum ended up looking after her mother in law, so they called a kind of truce, I suppose.
My Nan always insinuated that my dad became a bit 'wild' once he married my mum.
By 'wild' she meant that he once let his hair grow almost to his collar.

My late DH was an only child and he had the loveliest parents you could ever imagine. He grew up in a loving home and he knew how a marriage should work as his mum and dad set such a good example of a loving relationship. Think they were just thankful that he'd met someone!

I married any only child only son. I also got a nightmare MIL in the deal who loathed and despised any female that her son spent time with, and was not afraid to show it. Beware the only son - for some women it's a challenge similar to stealing a tiger's cub. My DS (not an only child) has married a delightful person who is not perfect but I am pretty glad about that as she wouldn't tolerate my odd ways.

Synonymous I agree with your original post. We have a D and a S and we get on famously with their partners. Being a MIL has never been an issue. I guess we're very lucky as I read some awful stories on this site.

I didn't always have the easiest of relationships with my MIL who always referred to my husband as 'Son' never by his name which I always found odd. As the years went by and I learned more about what she had been through I understood her better and so could make allowances. I was determined not to be the stereotypical MIL. We are just friends and I'm delighted that the AC chose so wisely.

Turf wars ! Let go or be dragged. We don't have to like people but the language used on here about in laws, sometimes shocks me. Very few people are evil. They just have different points of view and different family cultures.