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Am I Losing It

(7 Posts)
crazyH Sat 14-Apr-18 23:14:14

Those of my fellow grnsnetters who know the issues I've had with one of my dil, will know that I have been very sad for some time now. But recently, I've got to the point where everybody and everything is getting to me. Remember Easter? The said dil invited my D and me to Easter Lunch and although my D gave me a lift to the house, she didn't stay and my dil later complained to me about that. She said a lot of food was wasted bcos of my D. This caused me to be very upset and I adopted the silent treatment with my D. We do not have a great mother/daughter phonechat relationship, but I visit her couple of times a week. To be honest, I don't feel like talking to her or to anyone for that matter.
Today was my little granddaughters (same dil) 3rd bday party. I blamed myself when the dil joked to others at the party that she couldn't invite my ex and his wife because of me. I felt that she would have liked them to be there.....I'm overthinking and letting everything get in the way of my day to day living. I feel I am preventing everyone from having a good time. I feel guilty that my ex and his wife missed the party bcos of me, although I hav to say my dil had bought a little cake a couple of days ago and invited my ex and his wife over.
Why do I feel so depressed? Even though I don't see my gc as often as I would like to, at least I am not totally estranged?......BUT these family dynamics are really tiresome especially on these occasions. There's also some tittletattle going on between the 2 dil, my D.....today, I heard something being said between my D and dil....other dil is away on a course, so she wasn't at the party. I thought good grief, you pretend to like each other and here you are gossiping about the absent dil.....it's all getting too much for me.
I have been thinking of having counselling but am embarrassed to see the Doctor about it. I feel writing it down here will help me a bit...also there is a long waiting list to get a counsellor on the NHS. I don't want antidepressants.
Sorry for this long, rambling post...I feel better writing it down. Thankyou for reading xx
P.S. Btw my son (Daddy of the bday girl) ..noticed that I was not concentrating on something he was telling me.

morethan2 Sun 15-Apr-18 07:03:06

.....and breath. I think it’s fairly normal for all this family stuff to become overwhelming, it’s also hard to step back when we’ve spent the best years of our lives loving and caring for these adult children of ours. so no your not ‘loosing it’ Things feel bad but to an outsider they don’t look insurmountable. I’d find it hard to be in the same room if I had an ex partner and I think your DiL was probably only joking lightheartedly. If she’d have been really annoyed worse things would have been said. As for your daughter and DiL not getting on that’s up to them ( I know it disappointing not to have the harmonious family we strived for) Gossip in families is normal but that’s what it is, it’s just talk and there’s no estrangement. You say you see your grandchildren I know it’s not as much as you’d like but concentrate on being the best most fun granny when you do. Even if you have to act the part. Yours son sounds as if he’s concerned so he obviously loves you could you explain how difficult you find it to be in the same place as your ex to him. I really hate to sound glib but my best advice is try your best to give your adult children some distance, don’t get entangled in their quarrels, enjoy them when you see them and try to get an outside interest to take your mind off family stuff, even if it’s reading a book. The sun is due to shine this week try to get out for a walk(if I lived near by I’d walk and chew the cud, because if you’d read any of my previous posts you’d know I’ve often felt as you do, and may do again in the not too distant future) some of us just overthink stuff and take it to heart. We’re our own worse enemies. I do hope you feel better soon. Remember there are always one of us grannetters here to listen. My post is a rambling too I’m still in bedblush

vampirequeen Sun 15-Apr-18 07:27:46

It's time to see your doctor. Don't feel embarrassed. You seem to be very low and need checking to make sure you don't have a vitamin/mineral deficiency and/or have developed depression.

OldMeg Sun 15-Apr-18 07:29:43

So ramble on all you want and let it all out on here then..............forget all this petty cattiness that’s going on all around you. Smile, enjoy the spring, get out and do some gardening/shopping/ walking, something that will raise your spirits.

mumofmadboys Sun 15-Apr-18 07:38:54

Good post morethan2

Mary59nana Sun 15-Apr-18 07:46:59

Morethan2 you give such sound advice and I for one will take it.

CrazyH we all sometimes think like you do and overthink things and get unavoidably mixed up in family gossip and it’s all negative chat so I just do the happy mum thing and try and be the best loving Nana that I feel I am and let them get on with their own lives.
I love my own company and little dog so I’m happy
And no I wouldn’t be happy in my Ex’s company especially with his wife
Sending hugs 🤗

Situpstraight Sun 15-Apr-18 09:12:23

crazyh I don’t know your circumstances, but it does sound as though you are concentrating all of your thoughts on your family instead of yourself, are you able to get a pet?

A cat would be company or a rescue dog would give you an interest and a chance to get out and meet other people and take your mind off your family.