Those of my fellow grnsnetters who know the issues I've had with one of my dil, will know that I have been very sad for some time now. But recently, I've got to the point where everybody and everything is getting to me. Remember Easter? The said dil invited my D and me to Easter Lunch and although my D gave me a lift to the house, she didn't stay and my dil later complained to me about that. She said a lot of food was wasted bcos of my D. This caused me to be very upset and I adopted the silent treatment with my D. We do not have a great mother/daughter phonechat relationship, but I visit her couple of times a week. To be honest, I don't feel like talking to her or to anyone for that matter.
Today was my little granddaughters (same dil) 3rd bday party. I blamed myself when the dil joked to others at the party that she couldn't invite my ex and his wife because of me. I felt that she would have liked them to be there.....I'm overthinking and letting everything get in the way of my day to day living. I feel I am preventing everyone from having a good time. I feel guilty that my ex and his wife missed the party bcos of me, although I hav to say my dil had bought a little cake a couple of days ago and invited my ex and his wife over.
Why do I feel so depressed? Even though I don't see my gc as often as I would like to, at least I am not totally estranged?......BUT these family dynamics are really tiresome especially on these occasions. There's also some tittletattle going on between the 2 dil, my D.....today, I heard something being said between my D and dil....other dil is away on a course, so she wasn't at the party. I thought good grief, you pretend to like each other and here you are gossiping about the absent dil.....it's all getting too much for me.
I have been thinking of having counselling but am embarrassed to see the Doctor about it. I feel writing it down here will help me a bit...also there is a long waiting list to get a counsellor on the NHS. I don't want antidepressants.
Sorry for this long, rambling post...I feel better writing it down. Thankyou for reading xx
P.S. Btw my son (Daddy of the bday girl) ..noticed that I was not concentrating on something he was telling me.
crazyH Sat 14-Apr-18 23:14:14
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