Gransnet forums

Relationships

Special birthday without family

(21 Posts)
Floradora9 Tue 08-May-18 19:59:16

It would not bother me one bit if I saw my family at other times . We do not exchange gifts with adult children at Christmas or birthdays and think this is a gear idea, I cannot think of anything I would like to habe bought for me .

Luckylegs9 Mon 07-May-18 20:47:29

Thank you, I was over reacting. I will go out with a few friends for a meal and the day before I will have a facial and manicure.

sodapop Mon 07-May-18 20:17:11

Nice one Soontobegran that's just what should be done. Do some of your favourite things Luckylegs and then celebrate with your family later. Enjoy wine

Anniebach Mon 07-May-18 20:11:52

Not everyone has a partner to share their birthday with and for many their birthday is a special day.

Luckylegs, I am sorry you feel hurt and why shouldn’t you ?

I will be on my own for my birthday this year, first time ever.

Treat yourself anyway you choose x

Soontobegran Mon 07-May-18 19:22:46

Its hard when things change in life...birthdays especially.

I feel for you...

having said that, to answer your question, "what would I do"; I'd do all my favorite things. ALL of them! I'd work to move past focusing on what I won't get, to what I can rediscover about myself, who I was as a girl, before I became a wife and mom...

I'd eat a tripple scoop icecream cone, I'd take a day trip someplace I love to go to, I'd hike, I'd listen to my favorite music, go to a movie and read my favorite book of comic strips! I'd paint and draw and color the patio in sidewalk chalk! I'd paint my toe nails or get them done. I'd buy myself a new dress and wear it all the day with a tiara! Haha! I'd wear a pink feather boa and dance with the dog.

In short, I'd be sad, but I'd have fun anway...and I'd ask for a "make up day" that could be spent celebrating my birthday with those I love most on a later day that works for everyone.

BlueBelle Mon 07-May-18 19:11:58

Cut them out of your will just because they aren’t celebrating a special birthday with you, Loopyloo I really can’t believe you said that and there wasn’t a smiley so presume you meant it
I think you should celebrate it when they are back or as others have said do something special with a friend or treat yourself don’t be too upset our kids lead busy lives I m sure it was intended to upset you

Madgran77 Mon 07-May-18 18:40:17

Treat yourself and suggest a get together when they are back (Afternoon Tea or something?)

jenpax Mon 07-May-18 18:23:02

Birthdays are bigger deals for some than others especially if you live alone and there is no wrong in your feelings. I am sure DS was just not thinking about it and maybe remembered afterwards that you might be upset, at least he mentioned it.
I have spent the last few birthdays alone including a big one, but I have lots of great friends who made sure I celebrated properly and the kids all sent presents and did FaceTime with the tinies and I which was lovely?Can you find out if you can do FaceTime or Skype the DGC on the big day?

crazyH Mon 07-May-18 18:19:07

Luckylegs, your son probably did not realise it was your big bday when he booked his holiday. He got a good deal and he booked it. I'm sure he didn't realise how hurt you would be. AC don't have us on their mind at all times, let alone at holiday booking time.

crazyH Mon 07-May-18 18:14:07

Paddyann you are lucky you have your OH to celebrate with. I think Luckylegs is on her own and I can understand how she feels. Last year my daughter almost forgot, but I'm crafty....I pass hints, not because I want presents, but I do like receiving cards. I don't want to be disappointed so I remind them wink

Blinko Mon 07-May-18 17:37:43

I had a big birthday last year. I wanted to be with family, but like you, DS had booked himself and family on holiday, flying out the day before. We celebrated the actual birthday with my thoughtful sister and a niece then had a family get together later that month. Next year is our Golden Anniversary and we have decided to go for a spa day (or two) and treat ourselves. I doubt whether family will even notice.....

MawBroon Mon 07-May-18 17:25:00

Be like the Queen, decree another date for your “official” birthday and have a garden party!

sunseeker Mon 07-May-18 17:05:52

All my family live abroad - no children. I don't expect a big fuss on my birthday but this year not one member of my family sent me a card - not even my mother! Yes, it's only another day but it is upsetting if you think your family don't remember or care. Fortunately I have friends and in-laws who did remember!

Craicon Mon 07-May-18 17:04:51

Sorry, you’re disappointed. My sister organised a huge family week-end party in a lovely large house for her big birthday but gave us all more than a years notice.
I think expecting others to organise something is more likely to lead to a certain amount of disappointment so maybe best to book something special for this time and consider suggesting a special family party next year and give everyone plenty of notice.

mumofmadboys Mon 07-May-18 16:59:26

I agree decide on another date when your DS is free

Luckygirl Mon 07-May-18 16:55:05

Have the do on another day?

paddyann Mon 07-May-18 16:27:52

its just a birthday... we get one every year ,I dont think of any as Special .I usually tell my family no presents and spend some alone time with my OH .Its only a problem if you want it to be ,you can celebrate before or after the actual date get the family to agree a day when the holiday is over .

hildajenniJ Mon 07-May-18 16:17:49

Why not book yourself a Spa day and have a really lovely pampering session. I've just been to such a venue with DH and friends. The Spa isn't open at present due to last year's flooding. I'm tempted to go as soon as it's open though!
PS. We had brunch as it's DH's birthday.

Oldwoman70 Mon 07-May-18 16:04:13

I have a special birthday coming up next year - I have no immediate family so I am considering treating myself to a cruise.

loopyloo Mon 07-May-18 16:02:19

Book myself on to a cruise or some other special holiday and cut them out of my will. Sorry that sounds very harsh

Luckylegs9 Mon 07-May-18 15:59:08

I have a special birthday coming up, wanted to have a get together for my family. They are all away. I thought my son would have made an effort, but he saw a Holiday at the right price and has gone for it, said, after he had booked it, hope you don't mind.!. I don't want to be demanding but feel so hurt, things not right with DD, but I have 4 grandchildren a son and Dil. What would you do?