Childlees by choice or circumstance

Our eldest daughter now 40y & her partner have chosen not to have children. I read somewhere last week that these couples like to be termed ‘child free’ as ‘childless’ infers a loss & for some it isn’t.

Hubby and I are childless. Not by choice. I'm okay talking about it.
We'd have loved to have had children of our own, instead we enjoy our nieces and nephews, god daughter, great nieces and great nephew.
The difficulty I have is when mother's bewail the actions of their children and wish they didn't have them.
I'd have loved to have shown a wee thing all the wonders of the world.

I usually say "unfortunately, I don't have children".People aren't rude enough to enquire about the state of my plumbing! It conveys the fact that I don't dislike children. People don't realise though that no children means no grandchildren either, and so it goes on. I can't keep grieving over it though, and when ones peers are too old to get pregnant, it eases it somewhat.

DD, who is in her mid-40s, has chosen to neither marry nor have children. I asked her recently whether anyone ever asked questions about her childless, partnerless life and she said, it was very rare for this happened and her response is always 'I prefer to live on my own.'

We have 2 sons but were cut out by the youngest more than 5 years ago and as a result out of our GC's lives as well.

Generally when asked if we have children we say a son, and when asked about GC say we don't have any.

We have one son in our lives and no GC but through circumstance, not our choice.

I have a stepdaughter but do not have biological children at present due to health issues. (We would like to have more children; it just hasn't happened yet.) I have been fortunate in that most people who are curious simply ask, "Are you planning to have more children?" I answer, "We'd like to, it just hasn't happened yet."

We too are child less,not particularly by design, simply this is the way "the cookie crumbled" if you catch my drift.

We realised along the years that we are not at all maternal, and yet our two dogs were treated like precious children........but we have simply found the two of us seem right for each other and there is no pressing need.

Having said that my DH always has said I would have made a very caring and devoted "Mom".I think as we have got older we feel the need more of that other certain someone in our lives but,certainly in no way thinking of someone to look after us in our dotage..........simply an extention of ourselves, with the possibility of G/C making a further few little extra faces and personalities.

More so now I am a GN member I am getting quite envious of all of you with lots of family members around you.
Still,that is life and obviously not to be "our lot".

We did get questions and odd little looks earlier on but we were simply open and people soon got the message and changed the subject.

I am childless - I don't have a problem if people talk about children but as nina said it's when people, even those you have only just met, who when they find out you have no children then ask why - I have even been asked "whose fault is it"

If someone in a social situation mentions they have no children there is no need to pursue the reasons. It depends on the context - if the conversation is about children then just continue to speak about your own.

My reply was always "actually it's not something I usually discuss" and change the subject. Said in a nice way with a smile.

I'm not childless but H and I tried for 10 yrs before DD came along.
People did feel they had the right to ask for details back then. I often got asked "So, why didn't you want children ?"
My reply was "we tried" Most would then be embarassed and express sympathy and leave it there. Some would then have the cheek to ask why it didn't happen.
If I were childless now I would just say that it wasn't a personal choice and change the subject. It wouldn't upset me now. I like to think if we hadn't been fortunate to have our DD and DS I hope I could cope with a discussion about children, as long as people didn't pry into the whys and wherefores.