Bi-polar Daughter?

Oh dear you just have a mother and daughter clash that doesn’t mean she has a mental health problem any more than you have she might have pmt or just be a bit over stressed She s good enough to have you round for lunch every week and even bought you a pressie oh dear do make up you’re a lucky lady You re probable just very alike and clash because of that, not many mothers and daughters relationships are always lovey lovey Be so happy she still involves you in her life and give her a big hug next t8me you see her Life’s too short

On the other hand the daughter should not have ranted, there are ways of saying use the chopping board, it is in this cupboard. Maybe lunch every other week and they can come to you in between - and do the vegetables !!!

You were pretty certain she'd bought you something from the shops yet you carried on walking?

It would have been the perfect moment to apologise and make up with her.

I can remember hitting the roof, as a stressed young mum, when my mother did something that jeopardised the functioning of my washing machine! It certainly wasn’t fair to my mother, who was only trying to help, but it didn’t mean I was mentally ill... just extremely sleep deprived!

My sister was diagnosed many years ago as bi-polar and has life-long medication. She and her family deal with it well but it is so much more than an abrupt change of mood. Your daughter does sound stressed.
Hope your fences are quickly mended!

At the same time, tell her you love her and know she has a hard life managing on her own.

crazyH sounds as if your DD takes things ( stress) out on you.
Very unfair IMHO
I expect you will both get over this latest outburst, but when things are calm why not try and tell her how upset she often makes you?

Thankyou all . That's what I like about this site. You listen. You are fair. You are firm. Nothing like someone else pointing out your mistakes. I'm sure this will blow over. You're right ...who am I to "diagnose"......I have no medical knowledge...I just thought that having change of mood within an hour, is something like bi-polar. Thanks again ...I needed to tell someone xx

I wonder if she would have "ranted" had you fully admitted your mistake rather than defend it and act like her annoyance had nothing to do with your actions.

She wasn't taking anything out on you other than what you had done. The fact she is a single mother is relevant to her being upset at her belongings being damaged. It's heartbreaking when you've worked hard for something and it gets damaged but the real annoyance probably came from your own lack of responsibility/accountability and you blaming HER for a situation you caused.

We all lose our temper from time to time over someone else’s way of doing things that might have or does do damage. And often when we lose our temper over something (that may or may not be trivial), all our other frustrations come tumbling out.

Bi-polar disorder is a serious condition where a person experiences periods of severe depression, maybe feeling very low and lethargic for weeks followed by weeks of extreme highs and overactivity. You aren’t describing that at all, just a quick loss of temper that was soon over.

I think what's happening here & why she's getting so annoyed is you are throwing her personal issues back in her face whenever she has a genuine grievance with you as a way to never be accountable for your own actions.

If this is a pattern, you blaming her split etc for her being annoyed at something any reasonable person would be annoyed at, small disagreements WILL blow up into big rows.

& the fact that you cite her mental health history when you were the one in the wrong really says a lot about your relationship with her!

why didnt you use a plate if you couldnt find a board.

Most people would be mad to find someone chopping on their surfaces, it has nothing to do with her mental health issues, just your lack of common sense/respect for other's homes.

We priced up granite worktops for our kitchen when we was renovating and the worktops alone was £3k! And that was a smallish kitchen.
Imagine chipping it
I wouldn't be best pleased either!

Right and wrong on both sides, could you apologies? Say you didn't know how much they cost and leave a chipping board out next time. Something like that.

Bi polar doesn’t just cause anger with one person, it causes extreme highs and lows. If she only gets angry with you perhaps a talk with her, being a single parent with two teenagers can be stressful

Sorry but I would have hit the roof too if I caught you chopping veg on my worktop.

I do not think there is sufficient evidence here to diagnose bipolar!!!!!

I am sorry that your visit worked out so badly. Better luck next Sunday!

I wouldn't be be bandying about your unfounded diagnosis of bi-polar!
Give yourselves time to calm down.

I think I'd have flipped too if I caught someone chopping on my granite top even with a teatowel on it. Why could you have not used a plate. granite tops are not as tough as you might think and are easily chipped and marked. I would never have them in my kitchen .
Maybe she will calm down and get in touch to apologise for her outburst .

could also be PMT