This is a long one (apologies) - it’s a long running saga....I married my SC father some 15 years ago, he was divorced with 3 adult C who lived their own independent lives 6 hours away. All good, they came for the wedding and spent a day or two with their dad before the wedding, we got married, spent the night at a hotel before returning to the house to say goodbye to C before they returned home and we went on honeymoon and that is when the problems began...we returned to find the house in a tip, S1 was still inOUR bed with some random woman, they had emptied our drinks cupboard and the empties were now lying around the house. My DH basically told his D we were going out and on our return the house had better be back to the way he had left it. We returned, the house was tidy, C were all up and my DH basically told 2 out of the 3 to go home.
From there on things were strained with the S1 who had been inOUR bed, very little communication, but eventually this was resolved. The C had been spoilt when growing up i.e.Apartment bought for S1 & D to share, (put in their names) S1 refused to share with D so S1 rented apartment (dad paid) but no sooner had it been rented than S1 decided to move in with girlfriend and left dad to continue paying rent until end of lease, left it in such a state that no bond was returned.
Without telling her Dad, D sold apartment to get out of debt she had run up, then decided to move into rented apartment in affluent area with S1 who by this time had split from girlfriend, called dad to ask for deposit, Dad finally said enough was enough and refused. I could go on but I think you get the gist.
The D continued to visit and continued to look for money (or go out “shopping” with her dad and return with numerous “gifts”) but slowly this stopped and she became resentful. She would blank me when her father was not around. There was a big birthday for my DH and it was the first time that all C (both DH & mine) got together since our wedding. It was a disaster, DH’s C pretty much refused to communicate with my C. We went out for dinner and DH’s daughter went to the length of moving seats when my C tried to chat with her. On return to the house, DHs C removed themselves to another room.
And on to the present, D1 got married, prior to the wedding she visited to ask her dad if he would be paying for the wedding. This was in a castle with fireworks etc. DH said he would give her something towards it (this was some thousands) but was not going to pay for the whole wedding.
Since D got married DH has had no communication with her and S1 because of something they did just after the wedding and said he would not communicate until he had an apology.
S1 got married, DH sent a cheque for the same amount as D1 had been given, wished him all the best and asked for an acknowledgement that the cheque had been received. Cheque was cashed but 3 years later DH is still waiting for acknowledgement. We know that the cheque was received by son and is not in the wrong hands.
D has moved house, become pregnant and had a child all without letting her dad know. Then a few weeks back he received a txt message with a photo, beginning “this is your grandchild.....”. It was not the best of messages, and my H decided that the txt had given him closure and that he’d get on with his life and forget about his C. However, my H had thought more about it and phoned D and it seems that things are back on track.
This has taken its toll on my H, he’s been quite ill over the dramas/estrangement and while I want him to have a relationship with his C, I am extremely worried about his health, (both friends and relations have commented on how ill he looks). The last few years have been so much quieter and drama free, and I thought that with “closure” over the last weeks, he was improving and looking better. I just don’t know how to feel about D being back in our lives again.
Acid reflux - what did you do to get rid of it once and for all
