How can I comfort her?

Listen, give hugs and make no judgements. Hard to hear, but you have no right to make value judgements on anyone else's relationships. Harsh words, judgmental comments or unjust points of view will be remembered and may come back to haunt you in the future. Good luck! ? For you all.

You have been given sound advice. keep your opinion of him to yourself and never, ever, share it with your granddaughter, if you say he is vile, you will be saying to her that she is half vile, because she is half him.

Your daughter feels the way she feels, these are valid feelings, you can not dictate how she "should" feel.

Believe me, I am not unsympathetic, I have been in your shoes, and in my case they got back together, good job I held my tongue.

Lots of hugs, but don't judge the SIL - only in your mind if you must. You will be right in the mire if they get back together again,and will not be able to take back your words.

She is right to be sad - allow her her sorrow and do not try to direct her emotions.

It is sad - her reaction is normal.

Keeping neutral is going to be really hard but, as ruby says its important for the reasons she gave. SiL may be having a midlife crisis and come to his senses once he realises what he’s giving up.

Time is the only healer, just be there to listen but do not give an opinion as they may get back together and you will be in the wrong and they are tied for ever with a child. She will go through an angry stage, sadness is the usual first emotion after a loss. Do not call him vile to his daughter, when she is older her dad will be more important than a grandparent.

Just be a shoulder to cry on and help out in practical ways, eg looking after GD.

Just hugs. Lots of hugs. Be there to help with DGD and keep little ones life as normal as possible. The anger will come.

Don’t even go there trying to do him down. Just support your daughter and keep schtummm!! about what he has done. Otherwise you may regret it down the line if they were reconciled.