I just want to make this clear

I am sorry for your pain Nannykay. It’s clear to you which is worse. This is your experience and Iwouldnot take that from you.

But give me leave to disagree.

Oh Nannykay.....how awful for you.
But for you , Smileless and all those who are estranged, I'd like to echo what Annuebach said " where there's life, there's hope".
I have a very difficult relationship with my older son and his wife (who I'm sure hates me) . Hardly see them, except for bdays etc ....unless I ask to see the kids, they don't voluntarily offer to bring them over, and even then, I have to go there at an appointed time. But, I'm hanging in there!
She takes the kids to her mother every day, and visits my ex and his wife. It hurts, but there you go..
How's the retirement going Smileless ? Have you and Mr S planned any trips? It's lovely that you have each other. I wish I had someone....just never happened

Nannykay because you've posted on estrangement before, I knew your son had cut you out but had no idea that you'd previously lost another child. To say that I'm sorry for your loss seems very inadequate, but I am, and wish there was more I could say.

I don't know what it's like to have a child that dies but I know how it feels to lose a child through estrangement and your description of your pain resonates with me and I'm sure will resonate with all who are estranged.

We'll never understand how our son could walk away and take our only GC with him and when I read your post, I couldn't help but wonder how your son could do such a terrible thing to his mum, knowing that you were and always will be grieving for the child you'd already lost.

.

Hmmm..
I know which I would prefer.

Nannykay, I am so sorry you are grieving .

The first thought I had was sadness that you are hurting.

But then, if your son has walked away - he can walk back , how often have we heard/ said. ‘ where’s there’s life there’s hope. X