I am in a similar position to Goodnanny. I had been alone for over 15 years. My DC finally left home 9 years ago to live with partners after DGC were born. My last parent died a few years ago.
I was OK to do babysitting, running around and "lending" money but I was never kept company or any understanding shown for my utter loneliness.
Last year I met someone. At that point I was babysitting from picking up from school until late at night. It is nice to have DGC but they are not adults to have meaningful conversations with. I never had conversations with DC when picking up DGC just arrived picked up DGC and set off home.
I had hospital appointments but it was a struggle for a while to get anyone to come with me. Several times I have had to go alone.
New man is still working doing shift work. Babysitting times meant that we could hardly get any time together. I didn't think it right to introduce DGC without their DP, my DC, having already been introduced.
New man knew that I was going to be at a certain place and came to take me for coffee. He saw DC shouting at me. He was with me another day when I got a phone call and had to dash off for the sake of DGC who was in a questionable position. He followed and again saw me getting shouted at. He was not impressed.
I would have been in dire trouble if I had acted like that in the presence of their partners. I would be in even more trouble if I ever criticised their partners
I agree with Elegantine. DC do not want to keep us company and be with us as much as a DP or New Man would. After one of the deaths my DCs left me alone within the hour! I thought that was shocking. They only ever spend a night in my home if it suits their shifts.
I don't know if my DC or other peoples' DC are concerned about inheritance but these kinds of actions are not going to enhance the chance of being favoured in my Will. I have watched what New Man does, I have watched how his ADC have been with me and I am not happy with my ADCs' conduct.
Watching this with vested interest.
Alphabetical girls and boys names January 2024