Adult daughter issues

You seem to be wanting her to live over again the life you either had or maybe the life you wanted?

Or maybe fill up the empty space in your own life.

She’s only 24. She’s having a great time. The kind of life a twenty-four year old wants.

Perhaps she knows you are disappointed in her and that’s why she stays away.

Perhaps she’s disappointed in you. Maybe you’re not the kind of mother she wishes she had.

If you find that thought hurtful then I expect that’s how she feels too.

Having children isn’t the be all and end all and a lot of people would probably have had happier lives without them. If she chooses not to have them, we’ll, it’s her life. How miserable if we lived our lives according to parents wishes.

Your daughter is who she is. You can't dictate how another adult should live her life. All you can do is accept her as she is.

My FIL essentially feels that Hubby and I don't measure up to his "expectations". He basically told Hubby that he didn't know why Hubby was with me - this after Hubby was treated dreadfully by his ex wife. FIL has since turned into Granddad Who We Don't See.

violetflowers. first of all welcome to the site and your first post
Oh dear the tragedy of expectations, you had in your mind mapped out her whole life her career as a doctor or vet her marriage her children playing at your knee while you stir the pot of homemade soup in the warm kitchen and you share a cuppa together before you go shopping and what she has chosen hasn’t fitted in with your mental image and is if anything the exact opposite
I would imagine half the people posting on here have children that have turned out completely differently to what they dreamed of but you accept that it’s their life their choices She’s your flesh and blood you made her, she is what she is .
Maybe she’s cold because she feels your disapproval
Enjoy your daughters success she sounds a daughter to be proud of albeit different to your dreams
violet life is rarely what you expect it to be enjoy what you have been given

Oh I hope not Hellosunshine. I can be gullible and take things at face value.

Just that I agree with Hellosunshine. I used to have a neighbour who couldn't wait for her girls to grow up, have boyfriends, marry have babies, etc. She was wishing their lives away. Luckily the eldest grew up a lovely girl, everything a mum could wish for. The youngest was a handful in more ways than one and caused the family a lot of heartache.
Just love her and her talents, if you keep critising her, one day she may reject you altogether, and you won't like that either.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

She is what she is, and living her life her way.
Just be proud of her, not all women dream of domesticity and babies .