Support for all who are living with estrangement

That is very encouraging Poppins. I would just take it one step at a time from here. I would be careful what you say ... especially about sil to DD. They are in a relationship and as dear parents and grandparents we need to understand how VB profoundly the dynamics of long standing relationships can change when our DD or ds finds what they expect to be their life's partner. Look after yourself. Take things slowly. I hope things go well for you.

Just having a few tears in bed. . My husband doesn't understand my pain and huge sadness that engulfs me, my AC just totally jealous of my relationship with GC, there's no other explanation. No amount of explaining/reasoning with AC helps, just makes situation worse. Confrontation never helps no Matter how unfair/unjust things are. My husband sort of shuts me down, which now is making me sad and question our relationship. Feel very alone.

Aquamarine, I feel for you. Men don't look at things the way we do, and probably doesn't want to see your pain and so sort of "shuts you down".
I have just come back from my younger son's house. Although he and my d.i.l. are absolutely lovely, I know (from the conversation today) that she is very friendly with my ex h's wife, and my other d.i.l. and I am the main topic of conversation. My older son and I had an argument in the summer, but I thought it was all water under the bridge, but I believe my older d.i.l. keeps bringing it up all the time. I think she will be happy if I was out of their life.
You are not alone Aqua. I don't have a partner to off-load on .....that's why I come here.
Try to get sone sleep. Easy for me to say...I can't sleep without a sleeping tablet.
Take care ...

Lovely supportive and understanding post crazyH, hope you and Aquamarine have found sleep and a little peace!

A helpful friend who I met for a cuppa last week said it’s well known that AC are sometimes jealous of the Grandmother and DGC relationships be cause in their mind the DGM is giving attention they should have to the DGC.

Aquamarine stay strong and we are all here to chat to, privately in message too if anyone needs.

That's wonderful news Poppins, those 2 precious hours with your D and GC must have been the best part of your Christmas.

Aquamarineyour husband's failure to express his pain and acknowledge yours is as crazy says 'a man thing'. I'm very lucky that Mr. S., being a sensitive soul does talk about our ES and how he feels.

Sometimes no words are exchanged, I'll see tears in his eyes or he'll see them in mine and a hug is all that's required.

Sparklyis such a destructive emotion. It was our ES's wife's jealousy of my relationship with him that was the beginning of our problems and the thought of any kind of relationship I might have with their son, was the final nail in the coffin.

Smileless2012

"Sometimes no words are exchanged, I'll see tears in his eyes or he'll see them in mine and a hug is all that's required."

That just says it all!

Smileless....
I did wonder whether my DIL was jealous of my AC's relationship with me in early days, I was very close to my AC, but not now. They moved away to be near her parents , then all went downhill really. Don't get me wrong I know daughters are close to their mum's.... I know I won't have same relationship .But my DIL is cruel, mean and nasty. I've tried so hard to be supportive, caring and helpful. When my AC had a break in their relationship I even visited her in hospital when my AC didn't !!!
A new year of same old T&C , meanness cruelness and nastiness. But I'm going to try really hard to carry on acting and not let it dominate my thoughts and my marriage....
What a super supportive network we have here, thank you everyone....

Just wanted to pop in and wish you all a happy, healthy 2019. Miracles do happen, believe me.

Thanks Minty, haven't got your faith tho' sorry to be a killjoy!

I know Minty.....miracles do happen .

Smileless very sad when the people our AC - adult children - marry, are jealous.

Minty very kind of you to say it though I try and stay in reality, too much dreaming or hope is bad for the health.

Positively, getting on with life.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Just thought I'd pop-in, I do read a few posts from time to time. Nothing has changed with me, still no contact with my D,GC & S. into the 7th year

I had a really good Xmas & NY, cooked the Xmas dinner, first time since the estrangement, 5 for dinner, plus the 2 little ones. Oldest GD is now 3.5 & baby is 6mnths, both delightful. I now have that special relationship with oldest GD that I had with my first, now estranged one, so yes, I'm blessed.

Does this take away the pain from losing my youngest D& GC; No, it doesn't, but of course it helps enormously.

I do always think of you all on here, especially my good friend Smileless and I wish you all the best in the coming year. Who knows what's round the corner, we didn't when this nightmare began, did we!

Yogagirl....
Great news you have a close and special bond with D and GD now. Hope for us all maybe.. ? I wish you happiness and peace in this forthcoming year.
My situation just gets worse, so once I was hopeful , now ... ???

How lovely to see your post Yogagirland great to know you had a lovely Christmas and New Year.

Hard to believe that the little one is already 6 months old, time passes so quickly doesn't it.

Looks like you're all set for a great 2019.

Good to see you back Yogagirl

How lovely to see that everyone knows one another. I'm comparatively new here but it's great to belong to this community ?

Oh and Happy 2019 !!!

Nice to see you here too crazyH

HNY Yoga and to everyone trying their best......

This is a hard day for me as my DD and GChildren return home to the SiL who has cut me off. (We have been just the 4 of us for Christmas and NY as he refused to come.) It may mean a divorce which in some ways will be a relief but not a great outcome for the children. When one GS asked, 'Does daddy not like you?' I made up an explanation along the lines of his English not being that good and he sometimes misunderstands what I mean. My DD is heartbroken as I won't be able to visit them at home again, but we have plans to meet elsewhere in a few weeks.

Whatever the cause of your family rift, I wish you all the strength to cope with the sadness and hope that 2019 will bring some breakthroughs and we will find happiness again somehow. xx

Thankyou Ginny xx

Morning ladies. Sitting in the business class lounge for Emirates at Manchester airportwaiting to fly out to Aus. for 3 weeks with DS. We leave here 13.20 and arrive in Perth tomorrow at 17.30 (9.30 am UK time).

A long, horrible journey but if it's got to be done, this is the way to do it. That's what I've told Mr. S. so he knows that when we go again, nothing less will do.

Enjoy holiday with DS Smileless2012

Absolutely Smileless.....especially on long haul flights. If one can afford it, that's the way to do it.....business class!!!Here's wishing you and Mr S a lovely holiday and a great 'catch up ' with your son ✈️ ??

Have a wonderful time Smileless making lots of new memories to cherish.

Bon voyage. x