New man friend but

I think the lunging, when you have said you don’t like it, speaks volumes. He’s not respecting you. Listen to your gut instinct and follow it.

All of you are right and I think my problem was not listening to my gut feelings at the beginning. Too many complications - the not quite ex-wife, the lunging and the distinct lack of spark. Ah well, we live and learn...(even at 61).

I would be very wary of the fact he still loves in the same house as his wife.
Is this true?
Do not take the relationship any further until the move away has been made and he lives independently.
I'd also be questioning if he's setting you up to be be next "carer" or "domestic goddess" if he can't be bothered or is unable to look after himself.
Be cautious

You've said it lemongrove,hahahahaha.

It’s hard to fancy older men isn’t it?

I think he may be lining up his next housekeeper before leaving the marital home.

I totally agree with Apricity.

He's not pushing me particularly but keeps trying to kiss me which I don't like. I have to admit that I had too much to drink on one occasion and allowed him to, so maybe I'm sending mixed messages. I'm not sure how I feel about him romantically in any case (there isn't a huge spark of attraction for me yet)

You have answered your own question.
Mixed messages or not, his attentions are Neanderthal, I would cut and run.( Fast and in the opposite direction)

There would have to be a flame, never mind a spark for me at our time of life.
Sparks soon die out, some flames flicker and die, but we cannot take the risk that it is not the real thing.
Think very hard with your brain and not anything else.
Lunging is "bleu"
You deserve more than that.

Just a little aside about 'sparks'.

Must admit that when I first met OH there was no spark. I didn't really fancy him but he was a nice, fairly quiet man. As I got to know him better (we had mutual friends) I got to like him more. He became a great friend and companion - still no romance. However, he grew on me, made me laugh, liked doing the same things I did so the more we socialised the stronger the friendship grew. And suddenly it was love. Real love, I cannot imagine life without him now.

So don't dismiss the men who do not 'spark' initially. There are some good ones out there, truly decent, kind and fun, who hide their light under a bushel until you know them a little better.

Mind you Maggie - your park friend doesn't sound like one of them!

Any bloke lunging at me constantly without the come-hither signs from me, ie: mutual attraction, would be given short shrift. He sounds like a chancer who wants more than you are prepared to give. His home situation sounds decidedly dodgy too imo.

You know this isn't for you.

He must be aware that you don't enjoy him lunging at you, and yet he still does.
That doesn't bode well.
Ugh!

If there is no spark.... then there is no spark !!

I wouldn't be bothered unless there was a definite spark.

It sounds like a non-starter. If there is no spark, there isn't much point to it all. Is he definitely getting a divorce or lying to his wife?

I think I'd be inclined to run for the hills or, at the very least, tread very carefully.

Apricity has echoed my thoughts.

If there is no spark at all then there is no future in this.

Avoid him like the plague.

Don’t waste time with this man for both your sakes. Otherwise you are stopping yourself from meeting a man you do find attractive. Hold out for that romantic spark. ?

The idea that he is still living with his ex wife "while the divorce is going though" amazes me. Surely he could move into his own place at this time ? I moved out and lived in a friend's basement while I was getting divorced - nobody in their right mind would stay living together unless there were little children in the picture. This man sounds like he is leading you on.

I wonder who will get custody of the dog when things are finalised

Maggie, that’s exactly what the other woman told my poor mum, that she was flattered by the attention.
However it doesn’t sound like you find him particularly attractive, so why not have a look on the internet, you might find someone who isn’t attached and is more suited, seems to be the way to go these days. Good luck.

Yes FF we've been to the pub quite a lot! But we went for a walk not involving wine last weekend and he lunged at me then!

Thank you for all the advice. Really, it doesn't seem worth the hassle does it? I'm pretty sure he's getting divorced and he's about to buy a house for himself but that complication aside, I'm not sure how much I actually fancy him in any case. I suppose I was just flattered by the attention (sadly lacking these days...)

Perhaps I could just ask him to get in touch again if he wants when everything is official and we could resume our "friendship" but I have a feeling that by then, neither of us will want to bother.

|Well you must have done more together than walk the dogs or otherwise wine wouldn't be involved. So just have more outings that don't involve drink and see how it goes.

Be very careful. Are you sure a divorce is going through? They still live together! ? It may be true, but the same happened to my mum. My fathers new lady friend knew he was married but he had spun her a similar line. Caused my poor mum such distress, and I think the other woman too felt very bad at the end of it all when mum phoned her.

That's what my ex husband (married 25 years) told his now new wife too. It was all news to me once I discovered I was supposedly separated but living together still, " because of the children. " What a nightmare that turned into but the other woman stuck by him and his lies while I threw him out. Beware of what heartache could be around the corner is my advice.

He may well be an extremely nice person but if you are not sexually attracted to him it won’t work.Men are rarely interested in platonic relationships.