New man friend but

I have been in a similar situation. I would speak to him exactly as you suggest. The "lunging" is only going to put you off and you may never find him attractive romantically unless he takes things slowly.

Listen to your gut feelings.

Speak up. Tell him the gist of what you've told us, and his response will be revealing. Then you can make your choice.

I think clarification is (almost) always the wisest, fairest, best option!

He's still living "platonically" (really!!!pull the other leg it's got bells on it!!) with his allegedly "soon to be ex-wife", you just met in the park with the dogs, you're not particularly attracted to him, he's not pushing you but keeps lunging at you and trying to kiss you which you don't like! Maggie what were/are you thinking? There's a world of difference between a pleasant friendship in the park and a creep on the make. Run for the hills or at least find another park to walk the dogs.

Oh wise ladies, thank you so much...

I may well never be attracted to him anyway so why am I putting myself through this? A bit of straight talking methinks and easy on the wine for me because I'm an idiot when I've had too much. 61 going on 16....

Go easy on the wine ?

Maggie, I'll drink (in moderation of course) to that thought. ??

I think Apricity sums up my feelings on this quite nicely. Creep on the run indeed.

Apricity has hit the nail on the head imo,he is lining up his next housekeeper keep away from this leech would be my advice.

He may well be an extremely nice person but if you are not sexually attracted to him it won’t work.Men are rarely interested in platonic relationships.

That's what my ex husband (married 25 years) told his now new wife too. It was all news to me once I discovered I was supposedly separated but living together still, " because of the children. " What a nightmare that turned into but the other woman stuck by him and his lies while I threw him out. Beware of what heartache could be around the corner is my advice.

Be very careful. Are you sure a divorce is going through? They still live together! ? It may be true, but the same happened to my mum. My fathers new lady friend knew he was married but he had spun her a similar line. Caused my poor mum such distress, and I think the other woman too felt very bad at the end of it all when mum phoned her.

|Well you must have done more together than walk the dogs or otherwise wine wouldn't be involved. So just have more outings that don't involve drink and see how it goes.

Thank you for all the advice. Really, it doesn't seem worth the hassle does it? I'm pretty sure he's getting divorced and he's about to buy a house for himself but that complication aside, I'm not sure how much I actually fancy him in any case. I suppose I was just flattered by the attention (sadly lacking these days...)

Perhaps I could just ask him to get in touch again if he wants when everything is official and we could resume our "friendship" but I have a feeling that by then, neither of us will want to bother.

Yes FF we've been to the pub quite a lot! But we went for a walk not involving wine last weekend and he lunged at me then!

Maggie, that’s exactly what the other woman told my poor mum, that she was flattered by the attention.
However it doesn’t sound like you find him particularly attractive, so why not have a look on the internet, you might find someone who isn’t attached and is more suited, seems to be the way to go these days. Good luck.

I wonder who will get custody of the dog when things are finalised

The idea that he is still living with his ex wife "while the divorce is going though" amazes me. Surely he could move into his own place at this time ? I moved out and lived in a friend's basement while I was getting divorced - nobody in their right mind would stay living together unless there were little children in the picture. This man sounds like he is leading you on.

Don’t waste time with this man for both your sakes. Otherwise you are stopping yourself from meeting a man you do find attractive. Hold out for that romantic spark. ?

Avoid him like the plague.

Apricity has echoed my thoughts.

If there is no spark at all then there is no future in this.

It sounds like a non-starter. If there is no spark, there isn't much point to it all. Is he definitely getting a divorce or lying to his wife?

I think I'd be inclined to run for the hills or, at the very least, tread very carefully.

If there is no spark.... then there is no spark !!

I wouldn't be bothered unless there was a definite spark.

He must be aware that you don't enjoy him lunging at you, and yet he still does.
That doesn't bode well.
Ugh!