Children’s inheritance

This lady should not have to justify to her ac why she is moving. Get legal advice and if you can do and leave any money to the cats home instead of these grasping children.

Crazy.H.Never assumeanything where property or money is involved.Take legal advice.

Utterly selfish ... if they want the family home let them buy it off her, and let her live her life her own way.

I should also have said that by the time both parents die, most people are well established and don't really need inherited wealth - as GabriellaG said it should be seen as a bonus, not as a right.

I agree with absent, I help out with anything major that my adult children need and have also given them money for the purchase of their homes. I'm not expecting any of this to be returned, but made it clear to them that this is in effect part of their inheritance. By the time DH and I pop our clogs there may not be much left!
Makes much more sense to do it like this, I can see them enjoy what we give them and it makes their lives easier. Also less cash in the pot to be assessed for Inheritance Tax, providing we survive for seven years.

Quite agree janaNana, very selfish. I think she should sell and move.

Children's blessing? It's for the owner of the property to do with it as they wish, not for children to assume they will receive anything, not even a penny piece, upon the death of a parent or GP.
That's a step too far.
Mine assume nothing and make their own way in life which is as it should be. Anything bequeathed is a surprise and a bonus.

None of their business.

This attitude maddens me too - it is not 'their inheritance' it is the property of mother and if she decides to leave it all to the RSPCA then tough. What a grasping nature to say things like that!

My children have told us to enjoy our life and that they would rather we had a good time than leave them money.

lots of good advice ,however I would suggest taking a solicitors or an IFA s advice, because you may have consider future planning, IE have you made a will , IHT potential ,probate costs have now risen substantially .
you may also have to consider possibly of dementia and going into a residential home.power of attorney.etc

sorry to raise these questions , but they should be looked into asap hope this helps

In your friend's position I would suggest to the "children" that they could buy the house collectively from her, so that they keep the house they love so much, and she gets the funds that she really needs to provide for her own future.

I am basing that on them feeling sentimental about a family home, rather than just seeing pound signs.

If they collectively bought it, they could rent it out to cover the mortgage costs so not being adversely affected themselves, but still having the family home within the family.

If they refuse, they can always draw up a rota to provide care for her when she needs it, and to carry out repairs/maintenance and gardening for her. (I suspect that won't happen.)

I bet they are not willing to have her come and live with them... She should do as she pleases for her own peace of mind. Maybe a flat in one of the retirement complexes would suit her. They are popping up all over the place.

As the children obviously feel a sentimental attachment to a home that has belonged both to their parents and grandparents, I would, if I were in your friend's place, OP, find out whether I could sell the house to my children jointly now. You used to be able to do that and it saved death duties on the property too, but I have no idea whether it is still legal to do so.

Frankly, in your friend's place I would tell the children that they would need to be responsible for the upkeep of the house if they want it to remain in the family. After all the older we get the harder it becomes to do repairs ourselves or pay others to do them.

How awful! We’re not all the same, we have often told our parents to spend their money and enjoy their life when they talk about inheritance and shut them down on it. We want them to not be worrying about it tbh. Rather they have and did what they want

Appalling of her children. Not my son's attitude or any of my friends or family's children's attitude. An inheritance is a lovely gift, not an automatic right.

Katekeeppruning
She has already asked them and they have said they are not millionaires!

I think it has been the norm for a while and I think it is awful. My mother was struggling to hold on to her home and I eventually realised that she had stopped seeing it as her home and started seeing it as our inheritance. I told her that we would be fine and that she should use it for her own well being. It simply hadn't occurred to her because her mind had become focused on wanting to leave us something. Now it is just making sure her funeral is paid for.
It is just disgraceful when this comes from the children. Sometimes adult children should be ignored

Grabby kids! They pass their attitudes on to their own children and today we have a generation of expectant kids with a serious attack of the gimmes. If there is no provision in the late husbands will then they have no claim, she should just be firm. If it’s really nasty just sell and move, say nothing, it’s hers to do with as she wishes. If she’s not willing to do this, then insist they pay the upkeep and negotiate a lifelong residential agreement rent and expense free for herself. Good luck

Why doesn't she offer to sell it to them if they want it so badly

Surely this lady has the right to choose to sell her own home or not...she should not need permission from her AC. They come across as wanting for themselves in the form of a future inheritance, rather than thinking of their own mother"s health and daily needs. Too selfish. And in any case the mother may want to include other benefactors besides her children in any thing she leaves behind. There is too much assumption these days and a feeling of entitlement by some people that they should automatically receive everything the parents have. I would put the house on the market, move to to the sheltered housing with or without their approval, make sure you have a will in place and enjoy the rest of your life.

crazy mcem is right and you need to see a solicitor for some proper advice.

eazybee is also correct. You cannot dictate
what happens to an inheritance you've passed on, that becomes the right of the beneficiary. We found this out a couple of years ago when making changes to our wills.

crazyh please don't t follow any amateur advice, however well-meant.
You really need legal guidance as to the feasibility of your plan and also on how it might or might not be possible to include in your will. Only your solicitor can do this for you.
(A bit odd though to want to exert control from the afterlife!)

Absent
My friend has helped her children financially and emotionally over the years. If it hadn’t been for her and her husband supporting them, none of them would be as well off as they are now. This is what rankles me, when she needs support from them they are turning against her

I don't think you can leave property or money to someone with instructions as to what happens to it after their death; suggestions can be made but have no force in law if the property is left directly to one person; it is theirs to do with as they will.
It sounds as if the adult children are using emotional blackmail to ensure their inheritance, which is fine as long as they are prepared to take full responsibility, physical and financial for their mother's care should she need it. I doubt if they are.

Nonnie you're right, I was thinking about it while out this am and realised what I wrote didn't make sense.
I was going back to my experience with my Mum - we sold her house to pay for her care home fees. The LA always kept an eye on her bank accounts.