Mixed feelings about becoming a grandmother; is this normal?

I think M0nica meant " Some too much " in an entirely different context than the way it's viewed. Though I could be wrong.

paddyann of course you can’t love a child too much.
But some grandparents seem to expect too much in return - that they will be too big a part of their grandchildren’s lives and almost relive their own parenthood, and in doing so, causing friction between themselves and the child’s parents.
newgran congratulations. I agree with ayse that everyone is different. Take your lead from your DD and your grandchild as to how much support they need. It will all fall into place as long as you are sensitive as to how they want you to fit in with their family & don’t impose your wishes on them.
Good luck

How can you love a child too much ? Just curious ,I've always thought they can be spoilt by things but never by( too much ) love .

Thanks for the supportive replies. MOnica, it's interesting that you say some seem to love their GC too much. I am somewhat daunted by all the friends and posts saying I will go nuts over my granddaughter and be obsessed by her; I am not really a 'baby' person - preferring older children I can talk to! - and while I deeply love and value my own three I didn't really revel in their baby and toddler days and can't see why I should be any different with GD - apart from the fact that I'm not responsible for her, so the pressure is off!

I looked forward whole heartedly to becoming a grandmother, but in the first few months found it difficult to relate to DGD or see her as a family member. She cried endlessly and to a certain extent we 'lost' DS and DDiL in their need to cope with her. Her birth also coincided with a number of deaths in the family, including my DF, so that did not help.

That feeling that she was the cuckoo in the nest passed after a few months and she soon felt as much part of the family as everybody else, she is now 11 and we love each other to bits.

Any change like this is seismic and while some take it in their stride, some of us get a bit unsettled, but it all settles down and all but a tiny minority become devoted to their grandchildren. Some too much.

We all worry. It wouldn't be normal if we didn't and our minds tend to work overtime as we mull over different things,but let me tell you that it's all worth it in the end when you see these little people emerge. Best feeling in the world especially if you see them often as I did and to watch them growing.

I was a bit dubious about becoming a grandmother (I only have one granddaughter). I was 50 and felt I was too young! Oh the feeling when she was born. She is 18 now and I can't believe how much I love her. Your feelings will probably settle and completely change when you see the child. Good luck.

I think you are quite normal to have mixed feelings. I still do and the oldest gc is 5 now! I veer from feeling excluded to feeling grateful I am not expected to be at the beck and call of a rather selfish individual.

The age old story of the maternal grandmother being overpowering and always there - a battle I am not prepared to fight. As the "spare" (I am the stepgran) I am in a different position and have slowly found my niche in complex family dynamics. Many posts on these fora have helped me realise I am not alone and that many of the feelings I have are understandable So newgran2019 please do not think you are alone in having mixed or conflicting feelings.

I had three grandchildren within ten months and I think I worried every day! I think it’s normal to be concerned, but don’t let that cloud your happiness in anticipating the birth of your first grandchild. And, whatever you do, don’t let on to your daughters!

I was very upset when my youngest daughter announced her pregnancy. I wanted her to be more established in her career and felt that her partner (now husband) was unlikely to look after her as much I thought he should. As it turns out my grandson is the light of my life (as is his Mum) and SIL well he improved a bit but I think daughter is on the way to giving him the sack.

I don’t know what normal is, as everyone is different. My daughter had massive depression after twins but finally got medical help after a lot of persuasion. It certainly coloured her first 6 months and as a Mum I wanted her to have the joy of her new children. After this life improved dramatically. I was there for her daily to give support (at her request) except for the weekend. Other grandchildren lived on the other side of the world and I’ve seen them maybe annually. The best suggestion I can give is to celebrate and be happy for her. Offer the support you feel able to give, get to know your Grandchildren as well as you can. These days we are lucky to be able to connect via the internet. Congratulations, enjoy.

It’s not uncommon to feel like this, especially if you tend to overthink. I was the same when my dd announced her pregnancy. She couldn’t understand my reaction, nor could I actually, but she too has had a few health problems over the years and i was concerned.
However being a gp is wonderful, and a chance of spending time with the child of your child.
I understand why you are worrying but think once the baby is born all will fall into place. Wishing you as much joy as I have had.