Shopping with DH is a nightmare!!

My Husband is like that when he goes shopping on his own, everything is for HIS consumption,he pays so I dont worry

My DH insists that "he should come shopping, that it is not fair that I should do it all by myself." Managed to do it for many many years with 3 little ones in tow, but he is useful for loading it in the car. But I can do it so much quicker on my own because he likes to stop and examine things and ask if this would be nice, whilst I know what I want and can be back in half the time. But bless him he means well.

I've just had a right nightmare shop with mine. I have a Sainsbury's voucher which needs to be used today. I said to him 'can we go to Sainsbury's?' (I don't drive). He said 'What for?' and I explained that I wanted to get a bottle of champagne for someone for Xmas and I had a £10 voucher. Him: 'Well where's Sainsbury's?' I said I had looked on their site and the nearest one was 4 miles away. Him: 'Can't you go on the bus?' Me: 'It's not on a bus route.' Him: (after much puffing and blowing) 'OK' So he sets the satnav up and then complains: 'It says 6 miles here. Is it really worth it with petrol and everything?' I said I thought it was. So he begrudgingly set off. He decided to ignore the satnav and go a different way to 'avoid traffic'. He got in such a lather and I was completely stressed. He said he had no idea where he was and how many sets of traffic lights does one area need, why aren't there any signs to it, where is the entrance to the car park, I'm never coming here again I can tell you that and so on. By this time I was so stressed I felt like running in there, grabbing the champagne and bloomin well quaffing it there and then. He did make me a cup of tea when we got in and apologised. He's normally very good, ferrying me here and there.

I'm semi retired and I hate the fact he comes shopping with me now, strolls off with trolley, which often has my bag/purse in it, then so interested in goods doesn't keep his eye on it whilst I'm left with armfuls of shopping looking for him.
Constantly criticizes what I'm buying but if I've not then brought it, wants the item when we get home. Grrr!
I've found the best thing to do is go to the wine isle first - say choose a bottle of wine and then make a quick escape with the trolley, I can usually do 3 -4 aisles before he's made his mind up (& he doesn't seem to have caught on yet).

It was so relaxed when I did the weekly shop on my own.
Its the same when choosing items for the home, much easier when I just picked paint, curtains, carpets & just showed him a sample.
Hate clothes shopping with him, to its a nightmare! Rings my mobile if I'm in the changing rooms asking how long I'm going to be.
Sent him off on his own last week when he wanted new trousers, will definitely be doing that again.
Still, it would be terrible if he wasn't around.

Send him shopping on his own with a list

Yellowmellow Thank you for your concern. We are well into this Dementia Journey now and have had the Carers; assessment (also got the Council tax reduction and higher rate AA). Have spent 6 months battling to get a blue badge, which would make supermarket shopping & doctor's appointments easier but am expecting the pilot project will have finished before we get a formal decision I/we were awarded 1 day per week of so-called day care but it is by no means a full day (DH collected at the back of 10am and returned between 2.30/3.00pm.) I use this day to do any major housework, maintenance and admin, to attend my own appointments e.g. at the bank, opticians, doctors, clothes and gifts shopping, visit sick friends, etc. etc. - all the things I cannot do with DH in tow. Once you deduct an hour for travelling to and from town I have only 4 hours a week to do all that.

Haha I had a BIL who did the opposite! SIL was always getting home and finding something she had put in the trolley was missing, deemed ‘too expensive’ and put back on the shelf by her DH. She would probably be shopping on line nowadays if he was still alive (she didn’t kill him for interfering ?)

My husband won’t shop....not even for his own nickers. He’d go hungry or bare-arsed rather than shop. Thank goodness ...who needs em whining and moaning behind you all time...not me!

Granny23 have you had a Carer's assessment done? You can qualify for 4 hours per week sitting service, which would enable you to shop on your own? Also if you have a partner with Alzheimer's/Dementia you may not have to pay Council Tax xx

We had this problem when my OH retired. After years of having NO interest in grocery shopping, he was suddenly an expert in shopping from trying to rewrite the shopping list, what size trolley we needed, and how to pack the bags! he also added loads of extra stuff (and then complained about the cost). I now order a BIG grocery shop online about once a month to stock up on the staples (and then just get some fresh stuff as and when I can). As we can be flexible about when we're at home, we can take advantage of the cheaper slots (and often they're free). It saves us both a lot of hassle and I wish I'd done it years ago!

That is my DH as well. Ive banned him now. That was probably his plan!

Now we are both retired DH likes to sometimes accompany me on the food shop. He doesn't add stuff to trolley. But he rearranges everything I put in the trolley. If there are 3 things in the trolley he will rearrange them! Apart from that he's not too bad. But he does loathe most other forms of shopping, so he rarely goes with me. We walk into a shop and within a minute or so he's too hot and has to wait outside, which means I feel I have to rush. He's a nightmare.

My dearly beloved used to love the supermarket shop. As soon as we were through the door he would scuttle off to the ‘reduced bit’, and later find me and the trolley while clutching all sorts of bargains! One year he got lose and bought two......yes TWO fresh turkeys on Xmas Eve! I’d already got one at home ready to cook the next day, and the freezer was full having been stocked up for the festive period. There were only the two of us in the house, and we were only having two extra for lunch the next day anyway! I can’t remember the number of times I would patiently explain it was only a bargain if we actually ate the stuff in the end, rather that it ended up in the bin! It used to drive me nuts, but I have to admit I miss him so much now he’s gone that I’d even be thrilled if he greeted me with a load of frozen turkey legs!

Oh Evianas I feel your pain!! My DH is just the same but we never now shop together. Luckily I do food shop when he is at work but almost every day he had popped into supermarket on his way home & bought all sorts of food we do not need & should not be eating anyway. It drives me mad. I can get no more in larder or freezer.
I gave up other shopping with him decades ago as he goes into every shop & moochs round every flaming shelf. I know what I am going out to buy & only go to shops that sell it.
We have a house full of rubbish we do not need& will never use. I sling it out eventually but it is such a waste of money. He is BiPolar which I think doesn't help but it drives me to distraction!

It's other women's menfolk getting in my way when I'm supermarket shopping that really annoy me. Some sort of stand in the middle or in front (of the aisle, of the area in front of the tills, the basket stacks, the doorway) oblivious when the shop is clearly busy. If they're that awkward, leave them at home please.

The answer is obvious, you refuse to go shopping with him and do the grocery shopping by yourself. If he continues to buy unhealthy food items and then develops type 2 diabetes, you cannot be blamed!

I order on line and get it delivered. He can't interfere that way and we only get what we need. Although he actually loves shopping its me who doesn't

I go on my own to do the grocery shop! When we shop together it is often a leisurely event at a mall, or out-of-town place. OH has a clever little knack of going missing after a few minutes, but, old habits die hard, and I can always find him (when I need to) in eg. John Lewis tech department, or M&S shoe section. He's soooo predictable. It's his birthday today, so maybe we could do a dedicated visit , just to one of his preferred sets of shelves

If we shop alone, we have discovered that we spend all our time concerned about what the other one might like. That's why my husband is out just now shopping and I know he will come home with healthy food that I would choose forgetting to get all his favourites. It will dawn on him one day soon.

Granny23 you sound as if you really have your hands full with your DH. You make shopping with him sound amusing, but it must be such hard work. I would dread the thought of him putting things in his pockets, unnoticed by you. Do you have to ‘frisk’ him when you get to the checkout? You need an extra pair of hands/eyes to go along with you.

Shopping with my late DH wasn’t half as bad, but rather expensive. He would disappear for a while, then suddenly pop up while I was looking at something. At the checkout I would start unloading the trolley, and find various cds and dvds secreted underneath the groceries. He used to get ‘told off’ for costing us so much. When he became too frail to go out, though, all his acquisitions came into their own. He spent hours watching his boxed sets of favourite comedy series, or listening to his music, and they kept him happy.

I miss seeing his guilty grin, when I spotted the illicit purchases. I donated them all to our local Hospice, and they are now amusing and cheering the sick people there.

Do you have to shop together?We ? I gave up when on so many occasions after filling the trolley I spent as much time walking up and down the aisles looking for H than it had taken to do the shopping.So if he wanted to accompany me.?? handy when loading items in the car it was a mutual decision he would buy a newspaper and go and have a coffee where I would join him before taking the shopping to the card.

Recently I was shopping in Aldi (other shops available) when a lady picked up a piece of cheese and her other half said, "put it back we can't afford it". I was behind them at the check out and the husband said, "come on let's go to Macdonalds for lunch"!!!!

My wonderful husband is doing all the food shopping at present and cooking meals for us (post op - mine).

His supermarket outing is quicker and cheaper than if I was doing the weekly shop (and he brings unhealthy chocolate goodies back to cheer me up during my recovery).

Bless him. His efforts are very much appreciated.

Not much different from mine! Always fills the cart but then stands at the checkout while I unload and then pack everything up. It did dawn on me recently to stop offloading part way through and start packing up at the other end so he has to take over!

I shop online he has no input what so ever. I do ask occasionally if there is anything he needs or would like but generally he leaves it up to me.