Life seen from Different Generations' Perspectives.

crazyH Oh! Bless you! I hope you found some even more beautiful vases.
I had to pack my things away for the builders to come and alter my house so I can use my wheelchair. I thought of taking some china to the Charity shop. Fortunately my disability prevented me! I took a look on eBay to see if it was worth trying to sell any of it and got a huge shock! Some the same was selling for £80-100 for a trio of cup saucer and side plate!! Also I saw a large vase of which I have two and which I'm not that keen on, for sale starting bidding at £45! I forgot to check whether it sold though. However, the tea things do sell and here is me just using them for a cup of tea! Well what are they for?
Good luck with your vases!! Do what makes you happy. I am honestly fed-up with "stuff", especially being disabled. I would chuck out just about every bit of my wardrobe for example! I decided to take all my Summer clothes that I'd washed and was putting away for next year, to the Charity shop! Mind you - they aren't good enough for them really!

Apricity. Thanks for your wise words.

Currently, because of the dreadful things a very bad and criminal builder did to my house, I do have some of my things still stored, as the house is not finished and I do not yet have cupboards and shelves in place. The floors have to be taken up for one thing. Of course this is not a normal circumstance. Upstairs is OK.
Normally, without the builder situation, I'd say my house is clean and tidy and the same as my friends' houses, but not as pristine and empty looking as a show home! I do throw out the old food! I do find it difficult to drink all the tea that I get given as presents!! It's hard to give it away. I find that the children jump to conclusions very quickly and have done so ever since I asked them to prepare the Power of Attorney in case I should need it in the future. It is not in place, but ready, in case I might need it. They changed when this was done and started to say critical things. A close friend, when I happened to let slip a comment one daughter made. was absolutely horrified and that made me realise their attitude to me was not very respectful.

I am disabled so I do need hobbies to fill the time that I used to spend going out walking the dog and so on. So I do a lot of craft, making things, sewing, knitting when I can, sometimes painting. The builder and the current house situation have interfered with this a bit and I have been reading when I can, because I do have to lie down as I get too much pain to try and keep working in the house.

The problem possibly may be that my "stuff" used to be in its place on shelves and in cupboards but the need to move the furniture and store things in the garage has completely changed how the house looks. However it is obvious that this is due to building work and the need for the house's problems to be mended, so I would expect them to be sympathetic, not critical. Especially with someone who lives with constant pain.

I think I just did too much for them when they were young. Even when their father committed suicide, I had to sell the house and move us and I tried not to let it affect them too much and covered up how their father treated me throughout the marriage. So I think they just got used to me being very capable and managing everything.

I do not hoard....on the other hand, there's stuff I should have kept....eg: I should have kept a couple of vases, instead of taking them to the charity shop. When I had a birthday in August, I got flowers from people who I didn't expect flowers from and I had only 2 vases. So I'll be going to the charity shop to buy back my vases ?

I agree that it's very situation-dependent.

If you're displaying a vase or a painting, that's art. If you're displaying something that is very old and falling apart, that's rubbish.

If you're crocheting or knitting or sewing or painting and you have your things in a reasonable order, that's a hobby. If you have your stuff spread over half the living room and your things are absolutely EVERYWHERE, that's a mess. (Even with "messier" hobbies involving many small pieces, it is possible to keep things in reasonable order. Speaking from experience.)

If you're saving pieces of clothing, cutting them up, and making them into quilt squares, or if you're using old Christmas card boxes to hold food gifts for friends, that's recycling. If you have stacks and stacks of 50-year-old magazines that you're keeping "in case someone wants to read an article", that's hoarding. (I am not exaggerating on the 50-year-old magazines. My grandparents did this. Fortunately when they moved to a smaller home they did have the foresight to get rid of many things.)

Generally "hoarding" is defined as a situation where the person is keeping things of little, if any, value, can't bear to get rid of them, and just keeps adding to the hoard.

Tillybelle if my children were as critical as yours seem to be I would be saying to them that it's your house, your life and if they can't think of anything nice to say then please don't say anything.

However your children may have a point if you are living in conditions where everything is pretty dirty, you can barely move around or find somewhere to sit down due to the amount of "stuff" everywhere, if you have stacks of old newspapers and cardboard around the house (a serious fire hazard) and quantities of out of date foodstuffs in your cupboards then you may have a problem with hoarding and need to seek help to deal with that issue. Serious hoarding is a problem when old habits of frugality become an end in themselves and hanging onto "stuff" meets other needs. ?

As my house is much tidier than both of theirs, and I am fanatic recycler, which they are not to the same extent, they would be on a hiding to nothing if they were so rude as to comment in this way.

Recycling is not the same as hoarding, recycled materials are passed on, hoards are kept,

No, and I would likely have something to say to them if they ever did!
Your life, your house Tilly so tell them that.

Thanks Luckylegs9 I shall!

Just carry on doing stuff you enjoy, you're not hurting anyone and it makes you happy.

Hmm, no!