Worried about my grandaughter

TillywillyI think you need to look at the wider picture here and try to work out why she behaves this way.

Does your daughter have problems in other aspects of her life such as work or relationships? Is your GD clean, fed and well looked after?

Not being able to keep the flat clean may not be just laziness, it may be a sign of mental illness such as depression. The help and/or criticism given by family may make her feel embarrassed and useless and lower her self-esteem.

Try talking to her without criticising and perhaps suggest a visit to her GP.

Notanan2
I will indeed look at this scale. But I would think mouse droppings wouldn't be good. There is also old mouldy food lying around. Trouble is we are no longer speaking. I've messaged her to meet and talk but I've had no reply. So of cause I'm worried what state the place is in now I'm not around to keep on top of it

Hygiene and mess is very subjective.

There are "clutter scales" that professionals can use to determine whether clutter is a risk or not. Where would you scale your dsughter's home going by this: (other rooms available if you google images "clutter scale")
www.ecosia.org/images?q=clutter+scale+uk#id=74A152FC66F6611BF781ABF42E52F248CEE7869C

I think for all services the safety and well being of the child takes priority. Maybe in the light of your difficult relationship Tillywilly you are not the best person to take this forward, its hard I know but sometimes it's better to step back and let professionals help.

I'm worried if I phone social services again she will eventually get taken off my daughter and her father is no better.

That would be way down the road. It does not happen in the first instant.

Can you ask to speak to the safeguarding lead at her nursery?

I could maybe message one of her friends

That could be considered harassment.
Stick to official routes for the major concerns.

Keep contacting social services (but be aware that their backlog means it can be months before they properly address a case. If something more urgent happens ring the police and ask them to do a welfare check.

Social services will do everything to keep your daughter and her mother together. They may be able to help her with family support.

Hi. She does have people she can ask but that is getting less. My sister did her a big favour and she didn't even get a thankyou. Same with my partner. He went round fixed a load of stuff in her flat and again not a word of thanks. If you say anything she just rolls her eyes like a teenager even though she's 27. I went round to help tidy her flat after her ex phoned social services. She sat watching a film while I did everything. She has a load of mouse droppings in her flat. I kept telling her how unhygienic it is and it's going to make my grandaughter sick but she did nothing. She lets me pick my grandaughter up because she has no one else to do it. I'm worried if I phone social services again she will eventually get taken off my daughter and her father is no better. He's an alcoholic. No one can talk to her because she gets so defensive and abusive. I could maybe message one of her friends thank you for replying

If you are worried that your granddaughter is in danger you need to go back to social services with specific incidents to report. Perhaps your daughter needs family support if she is not coping with a job and looking after her daughter. Have nursery staff indicated any concerns? Perhaps you could offer to have your granddaughter overnight once a week to give your daughter a break. It is a shame that you have a bad relationship with your daughter, but on the plus side she trusts you to pick her up, so your relationship has not entirely broken down. She may, however, find your help intrusive, and may accept help better from a third party. Is there a relative who could visit her?