Limerence ..... the shame and embarrassment of it

Well i am leaving this conversation now, as it seems people cannot or do not want to understand it,
aAnd if you have not been through it will never know how much people dont want it
You dont even have to think any particular thoughts, it is just there in the back of your mind
It is not unrequited love either
Byeee

Tony i thik it is very insulting to imply its a mental helth problem, its nothing of the sort,

but it is obsessional behaviour - apparently.
and what Chewbacca said

craftergran

I've called him worse, all of it deserved, but well...
Some people you have to love from afar.

Well he is a complete saddo in that case.

I can relate to limerence actually.
I think about my ex far more than I would even like to admit to myself, particularly since he proved himself not worthy of such love.

Tony suggested it wad connected with Bipolar, which would be an existing condition, and definitely not connected with my hormones,im well past menopause
It is very difficult to explain how it feels,except that person occupies your thoughts 24/7 ,as much as you try not to let it,they are there in your head all the time
Yes you can distract yourself and your thoughts but they pop back in without any reminders
In my case i think its because i didnt get closure, just silent treatment, even though he told me how much he missed me when we were not together,then silence

My goodness, there’s been so many deletions on this thread! Really strange isn’t it?

Me too Urmstongran. In my case, I only mentioned the word li****ck on page 1 and my post got deleted.

Blondenana, how can you be so sure it has nothing to do with hormones? You do not love the person emotionally. You simply fancy them to distraction. And what causes that?

I do not think it has anything to do with mental health problems unless it gets out of control to the extent you become a stalker, or a risk to the person you are fixed upon. (Thinking there of a well known broadcaster murdered on her doorstep)

Again I think some posters are making diagnoses of mental health problems where this is simply not the case. If you do suffer from such an illness your life and that of those closest to you is disrupted and unrealistic. It's easy to blame bad behaviour or lack of self control on a mental health issue.

craftergran you made me

Be careful Lisagran a post of mine got deleted and I was reprimanded by GNHQ the other day for a very similar sentence.

craftergran,I suggest from now on you run GN.

Did I miss Tony's comment?

But it is a mental health problem blondenana. If you are so utterly besotted with someone and it incapacitates you to such a degree that it's affecting your abilities to function normally, then it would suggest that it is an emotional/mental problem. Especially so if those feelings are being manipulated by the recipient of your attentions and making your condition worse.

But personally, I think craftergran nailed it.

I have never heard of it at all.

Tony i thik it is very insulting to imply its a mental helth problem, its nothing of the sort,
How rude some of these comments are, it is a very real thing and its terrible to mock someone who is suffering whatever the reason,
I am disgusted with the mockery on here to the op

Crafter gran ????

Thought it meant reciting limericks.
I fancied a young man named Fred
I wanted him into my bed
He wouldn't comply
I thought I would die
Now I fancy his sister instead

sorry

Replies

Some of the relies on here are terrible, i do believe the op was genuine, and i understand it,
Also nothing to do with hormones, and its more than a crush, it is a very painful thing to go through, the person you are in limerance about occupies your thoughts 24/7
Difficult to explain, but its not always about someone you just fancy it is usually about someone you are or have been involved with in some way,and not always been nice to you,
It is often a narcissist who can make your life seem good then ignore you for no, t apparent reason, until they want to become involved with you again,they mess with your head,

GrannyH50 yes i understand, going through it myself, didnt know there was a name for it until recently
Also just finished a relationship with someone i now believe to be a narcissist, lots of silent treatment etc
It is horrible and they dont care
Lucky are those that havent experienced it,
Its not the same as a crush, its much worse

Yep. And I read that women reach their sexual peak in their forties, whilst in men it is their early twenties. How was that ever gonna work?

Oh Lordy , my spike has long since passed by.

A biology teacher I knew said there was a spike in fertility in 40s, which might explain some unexpected pregnancies in women who thought their families were finished. She called it "the last fling of the ovaries" .

Yes - mid menopause. My libido went a bit haywire and I used to fancy anything male that moved. Slightly obsessively in some cases! Hormones are a trial! Lasted a year or so. I agree with nature trying to get one more baby!