Is anyone living with a sibling in later life?

Btw my sons are in their 40s.....I know this does not really relate to your situation maggietulliver but it does show that even people who would not have chosen to live together can do so peaceably if the accommodation allows them to. Sometimes it can bring out the best in people, too.

My two sons love each other, of course, but did not really get on that well. Circumstances have brought them together in accommodation that is similar to student halls at uni. They each have a studio with ensuite facilities and a kitchen/living room, shared between three units. They now get on much better and when the older son was ill recently, the younger one was very caring & supportive...…. quite a surprise to all concerned. Perhaps having a third person in the mix has helped but I think that having their own (lockable) unit with a communal area has provided options that they did not have when living at home.

What a lovely idea and such lovely stories.

So nice to hear siblings getting on so well you sound as though you have put some thought into it and the companionship would be good for you both .I hope it works out well for you when the time comes

Could you have a trial run first to see if it works? As you both have the same temperament and tastes it sounds like a good idea but life holds no guarantees. I would ask what's the worst case scenario and how would you cope with it?
For myself I don't think I could live with my sister unless we had a separate wing of a large house each as we would drive each other insane!

My brother lives my DH & me for similar reasons. It is OK but he does not earn enough to contribute to bills though buys food etc. Cannot claim housing benefit as I am a relative..eligible if in a room / flat elsewhere.
Sometimes it is a burden but 90% of the time it is fine.

You must of thought about it for a while about moving intogether. You will of course have to sit down and talk to your brother taking his thoughts into consideration. But it seems a nice logical idea and one which could benefit you both.

Many people choose to subcontract their care to the government.

It’s a pleasant change to read about family members caring for each other.

Long may it continue.

Never in a million years would I live with either of my sisters. If I ever announced that I was intending to do this my daughter would have me verified insane. It must be wonderful to be that close to your siblings but it will never happen to me.

I think it would work well if that's what you both want MaggieTulliver. Sort out the legal issues and agree ground rules between you. It's important you both have privacy when you need it. Good luck

DH had two maiden aunts who lived together all their lives. They both lived into their 80's. They had the odd spat as you would expect but got on really well.
Just a word of caution. When X died Y was devastated. More so than when any other sibling died.

Lovely to hear your stories about relatives. My grandmother and sister-in-law lived very happily together in later life and we couldn't imagine one without the other.

I had two great aunts, sisters of my maternal grandmother, who both lost their fiances in WW1, they lived together for the rest of their lives in the inherited family home where my grandmother and her siblings grew up. We visited them often as children, I also had sleepovers there. As far as I'm aware they always got on. One did survive the other for quite a few years living well into her 90s, she went to live with a niece and family towards the end of her life.

It sounds as if it could work Maggie best of luck with whatever you decide to do.

Jallima1108 sisters were left unmarried if their fiances had died in WW1, sisters looked after bachelor or widowed brothers

Yes I think it was pretty common in the past for the reasons you mention. My grandmother and her sister were both widowed in WW1 and both had baby sons. They lived together, and eventually borrowed some money and built a house with a shop underneath. They both stayed single and became quite independant and fairly well off when the shop became successful. They were and are my heroes - making the best of a bad situation. They lived together all their lives and never remarried - it was a great success .

We have to sell when mum dies Dontaskme because mum has taken out equity release. Otherwise me and my other brother would be perfectly happy for my other brother to carry on living there.

Thank you all for your replies (and the link Dora). I agree, I would need to weigh it up carefully and consider my daughter (she loves him dearly by the way and gets on very well with him). It certainly is interesting that co-habiting siblings used to be so common (sisters especially) but is now quite unusual. I suppose that's why I posted, because you don't hear about it very often these days.

Why would you sell your Mothers home if he lives there and its his home? You say you have enough to buy somewhere outright but don't say what your situation is atm. If forcing the sale of his home wouldn't leave him with a lot why don't you move in there? You'd still have your own money to be able to buy somewhere outright for yourself, so if it didn't work he could stay in your Mothers (and his) home and you could go buy something for yourself.

I think it sounds lovely I wish I had a sibling to consider it with It’s probably important to know that you can get on together and not just think you can, how about a couple of weeks holiday together to see if you really do like prolonged periods with each other You could also make the house so you each have a private space as well as a shared space
I d think it’s a positive way to go

It may have been more common between the two world wars, say, because families were often divided yet it wasn’t considered quite respectable for a single woman to live on her own. Together with the perceived mutual benefits of sisters ‘keeping house’ for bachelor brothers. I see no reason why the OP’s plan wouldn’t work. It seems to have been carefully thought through.

You might want to read this:

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/nov/24/i-feel-fortunate-to-live-with-a-sibling-i-get-on-with

I think it sounds a lovely idea, you both seem very fond of each other and you would both benefit from the companionship. The house issue could be easily solved by a good solicitor: it’s similar to a cohabiting or married couple where one of the partners has children. It could be stipulated that the surviving resident is permitted to live in the house until his/her death, and then any heirs inherit the house. Best wishes.

I have a friend who's just turned fifty who lives with her sister and they get on very well indeed. They have different temperaments and interests, but enjoy the companionship because they say it's undemanding.

It sounds good but what would happen if you predeceased your brother, would he be allowed to remain in your home until the end of his days? Or would the property be sold by your daughter leaving him homeless? Just something to think about.

It's an interesting question, MaggieTulliver and started me thinking about how this seemed to be more the norm than it is now, perhaps because sisters were left unmarried if their fiances had died in WW1, sisters looked after bachelor or widowed brothers.

My widowed aunt had her bachelor brother to live with her, it seemed to work quite well, and two other aunts, both widows, lived together.
More recently, our neighbours were siblings too, living with their mother, but all deceased now.

It depends how much you both want companionship and whether or not there is room for you both to have your own space if you so wish from time to time.
Alternatively, could he stay on in your mother's house and pay rent to the co-owners if they are agreeable.

I don't know anyone now who lives with a sibling though.

I can't see it not working under the circumstances and it's obvious that you don't envisage any problems so I'd say that your futures would be solved.