Is anyone living with a sibling in later life?

I'm not living with a sibling, but I wondered how stable your brothers health is, and if that could change with the loss of your mum?

Not very helpful, but I can see lots of positives, too.

Thank you MissAdventure. His health is really quite stable now and he knows what to do if he has a dip (he suffers with depression). The rest of the family also know how to help him/deal with him. He loves our mum but I think probably he would find it a bit of a relief when she goes as she can be difficult....

We know a brother and Sister who have lived happily together for many years. It works for them, as far as I am aware.

It's an idea that I've fleetingly entertained - my sister and I each own our own property, but I soon set it aside! In theory it sounds fine to share bills etc but it would never work, and I would hate us to fall out for whatever reason.

We're both still working and have busy social lives so we have no need for companionship, but it is something that comes to both our minds occasionally.

As for your brother - when the family home is sold he could rent privately/social housing.

You could put out feelers to him to see what he thinks of the idea - it could be that he looks forward to living alone after being with your mother all this time.

My grandma and her sister lived together for many years after Grandma was widowed. Seemed to get on ok but when both moved into the same care home, Grandma went for an upstairs room because her sister refused to use a stair lift, so Grandma didn't have to see her unless she wanted to! Which it turned out was not often

I can't see it not working under the circumstances and it's obvious that you don't envisage any problems so I'd say that your futures would be solved.

It's an interesting question, MaggieTulliver and started me thinking about how this seemed to be more the norm than it is now, perhaps because sisters were left unmarried if their fiances had died in WW1, sisters looked after bachelor or widowed brothers.

My widowed aunt had her bachelor brother to live with her, it seemed to work quite well, and two other aunts, both widows, lived together.
More recently, our neighbours were siblings too, living with their mother, but all deceased now.

It depends how much you both want companionship and whether or not there is room for you both to have your own space if you so wish from time to time.
Alternatively, could he stay on in your mother's house and pay rent to the co-owners if they are agreeable.

I don't know anyone now who lives with a sibling though.

It sounds good but what would happen if you predeceased your brother, would he be allowed to remain in your home until the end of his days? Or would the property be sold by your daughter leaving him homeless? Just something to think about.

I have a friend who's just turned fifty who lives with her sister and they get on very well indeed. They have different temperaments and interests, but enjoy the companionship because they say it's undemanding.

I think it sounds a lovely idea, you both seem very fond of each other and you would both benefit from the companionship. The house issue could be easily solved by a good solicitor: it’s similar to a cohabiting or married couple where one of the partners has children. It could be stipulated that the surviving resident is permitted to live in the house until his/her death, and then any heirs inherit the house. Best wishes.

You might want to read this:

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/nov/24/i-feel-fortunate-to-live-with-a-sibling-i-get-on-with

It may have been more common between the two world wars, say, because families were often divided yet it wasn’t considered quite respectable for a single woman to live on her own. Together with the perceived mutual benefits of sisters ‘keeping house’ for bachelor brothers. I see no reason why the OP’s plan wouldn’t work. It seems to have been carefully thought through.

I think it sounds lovely I wish I had a sibling to consider it with It’s probably important to know that you can get on together and not just think you can, how about a couple of weeks holiday together to see if you really do like prolonged periods with each other You could also make the house so you each have a private space as well as a shared space
I d think it’s a positive way to go

Why would you sell your Mothers home if he lives there and its his home? You say you have enough to buy somewhere outright but don't say what your situation is atm. If forcing the sale of his home wouldn't leave him with a lot why don't you move in there? You'd still have your own money to be able to buy somewhere outright for yourself, so if it didn't work he could stay in your Mothers (and his) home and you could go buy something for yourself.

Thank you all for your replies (and the link Dora). I agree, I would need to weigh it up carefully and consider my daughter (she loves him dearly by the way and gets on very well with him). It certainly is interesting that co-habiting siblings used to be so common (sisters especially) but is now quite unusual. I suppose that's why I posted, because you don't hear about it very often these days.

We have to sell when mum dies Dontaskme because mum has taken out equity release. Otherwise me and my other brother would be perfectly happy for my other brother to carry on living there.

Jallima1108 sisters were left unmarried if their fiances had died in WW1, sisters looked after bachelor or widowed brothers

Yes I think it was pretty common in the past for the reasons you mention. My grandmother and her sister were both widowed in WW1 and both had baby sons. They lived together, and eventually borrowed some money and built a house with a shop underneath. They both stayed single and became quite independant and fairly well off when the shop became successful. They were and are my heroes - making the best of a bad situation. They lived together all their lives and never remarried - it was a great success .

I had two great aunts, sisters of my maternal grandmother, who both lost their fiances in WW1, they lived together for the rest of their lives in the inherited family home where my grandmother and her siblings grew up. We visited them often as children, I also had sleepovers there. As far as I'm aware they always got on. One did survive the other for quite a few years living well into her 90s, she went to live with a niece and family towards the end of her life.

It sounds as if it could work Maggie best of luck with whatever you decide to do.

Lovely to hear your stories about relatives. My grandmother and sister-in-law lived very happily together in later life and we couldn't imagine one without the other.

DH had two maiden aunts who lived together all their lives. They both lived into their 80's. They had the odd spat as you would expect but got on really well.
Just a word of caution. When X died Y was devastated. More so than when any other sibling died.

I think it would work well if that's what you both want MaggieTulliver. Sort out the legal issues and agree ground rules between you. It's important you both have privacy when you need it. Good luck

Never in a million years would I live with either of my sisters. If I ever announced that I was intending to do this my daughter would have me verified insane. It must be wonderful to be that close to your siblings but it will never happen to me.

Many people choose to subcontract their care to the government.

It’s a pleasant change to read about family members caring for each other.

Long may it continue.

You must of thought about it for a while about moving intogether. You will of course have to sit down and talk to your brother taking his thoughts into consideration. But it seems a nice logical idea and one which could benefit you both.