Dating younger man

I was married for 40 years, many of them unhappy, to a man 9 years older than me. He dumped me for no particular reason and although we are now friendly and I have been on my own for 5 years I now think he did me a favour! I have become friendly with a man 12 years my junior, and am experiencing all the highs and lows that I did at 17! I’m thoroughly enjoying the frisson of the relationship, but know it won’t go anywhere as I am not confident about the age gap from his point of view. However, there is something to be said for mind over matter .... if he doesn’t mind, it doesn’t matter!

Only you can decide what's right for you. If your head and heart say yes then go for it and don't worry about the age difference. My wife is 30 and I'm 56 and often get taken for mother and daughter but we don't let that bother us. Wish you happiness.

Go for it! Life is short so get your happiness while you can. If your both happy then age should not matter. Enjoy your time together and see where it takes you. You might just have met the man who will make your life complete. Good luck and be happy.

You like him! He likes you! Just carry on see where it goes! Like any relationship it will either work or it wont! If it works great! Think Barbara Windsor!

My husband is 13 years older than me, and nobody has ever batted an eyelid, to my knowledge. There are double standards sometimes when it's the other way around!
I would enjoy myself if I were you, take things at a pace you're comfortable with. And I think anyone in any new relationship should proceed with their eyes open. It's not being paranoid, it's being sensible. Us ladies need to trust our instincts, and pull back from any potential arrangements/suggestions that might impact our security. That's just being smart. If nothing has given you cause for concern, then enjoy your situation a day at a time.
Wishing you all the best.

My advice would be to enjoy every day that you spend together and to go with the flow. Having said that, I do echo the posts that advise you to be cautious. Look after yourself - you are number one.

I'm the same age as you and have been divorced for about 16 months now. I'm friends with a man who has been widowed for some years, but it's still early days for me (I was married for about 30 years and my ex's behaviour for a good few of those years was appalling). I enjoy this man's company and he enjoys mine - he says he 'loves me lots'. No demands, no expectations. If you're both looking for the same thing, that's fine. Things can get tricky when one of you wants something different.

I hope it all goes well for you.

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Thank you for replies.

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*just to be on the safe side.

IreneAdler
Not to put a dampener on your new relationship but have you done any checks on this 'young man'?
It's wonderful to find a companion to share life with, however, I'd just be cautious until you feel confident.
Your last sentence perhaps shows a little uncertainty, or else you were trying to assure us that he's an upstanding guy, not out to fleece you.
May I ask...which of you is a member of the NT and EH? Why would a 48 year old be telling you about his pension provision when he won't be retiring any time soon and the fact that he owns his house.
IMHO, I'd do a few checks...justvti be in the safe side.
I did with my OH and he thought it was funny ( not ) but understood my reasoning.
Good luck and I hope it all turns out as you hope.

Just carry on and enjoy each others company.

As I have friends a lot older than me and others a lot younger than me I can't see that it makes a difference.

What I do find a little worrying is "He is a care worker, so low paid, but has own home and deferred pension from previous job.". Does this bother you? Why?

I have dated people 20 years younger than me and also 20 years older than me

It all depends on your attitude and outlook

IreneAdler - I would say: Sieze the day and make the most of your time together. Always be optimistic and positive and your joy of life should be reflected back to you.
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No, you're not setting yourself up for a fall. You are taking things slowly and this is good with any relationship. See how it goes. You don't have to combine your finances.

I hope everything goes well for you.

Good for you.....All the best !!

If it was the other way round (man 12 years older), nobody would bat an eye. If he makes you happy OP that's all that matters. It might be different if he wanted kids but that's obviously not an issue. Relax and enjoy.

My OH and I have been a couple (but don't live together) for 6 years come April. I'm 74 retired, he's 51 and company CEO.
It works for us and he did the running.

My partner is 9 years younger than me. But then, I lie about my age :-) (not to him)

I've been very happily married for more than thirty years to a man ten years my junior. Age is just a number.

That sounds so nice. Where can I meet such a person ?

Good for you!
It's only 12 years after all and if it doesn't work, give him my address, he sound lovely.

Have a lovely time, age should never be a problem or other people’s opinions. Good luck.