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Husband started gambling

(43 Posts)
cakehunter Fri 25-Jan-19 12:39:28

My first post and I'm hoping for some guidance on how to handle this.
Over last few months my husband has lost over £1000 playing online blackjack. Never seemed interested in gambling before.
He never tells me he's had a session online, I always find out by our bank app which I check every day. If I confront him he gets sheepish and says he's embarrassed, but then angry saying it's no big deal, lots of people do it.
He still works so not so much the money side of it although we are saving and that amount is such a waste, but the secrecy, refusal to acknowledge his actions, and his anger is worrying me.
I really would appreciate some help getting this into perspective. Is it a bit of fun or is there a problem.

glammanana Thu 05-Oct-23 10:06:00

Zombie thread ladies read the date !!

Antug Thu 05-Oct-23 09:52:23

If your husband does gamble, have him do it on trusted platforms

Rosezeta Tue 27-Jul-21 15:25:01

Its a problem i have broke away from a 13 yr old relationship it start where he won good amount of money than he thought he could make it more so he put the whole 3000 back on the site i was heart broken becsuse funds are very low but then it was all the lies he told me had to start blocking bank cards credit cards then in the end o had to ask to go becuse he was making me ill please be careful

Esspee Mon 26-Jul-21 17:18:40

Lately there have been a lot of zombie posts.
Don’t waste your time everyone. Look at the date then read the whole thread before responding.
Your time is precious.

MerylStreep Mon 26-Jul-21 17:10:25

Can I ask why some of you are talking to a poster thats not reading your posts
READ THE DATE OF OP.

barbramalo Mon 26-Jul-21 17:00:26

This is very sad. I think it's really worth contacting a psychologist. And you have patience and strength.

lyonss Mon 26-Jul-21 11:44:59

Nowadays, such problems arise very often. I think your husband should visit a psychologist.

alanel Mon 26-Jul-21 11:28:07

It is sad. Patience to you!

mumofmadboys Fri 23-Jul-21 10:46:47

What a silly post Sonyaaaaaaa!!

Sonyaaaaaaa Fri 23-Jul-21 10:09:38

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MerylStreep Sat 26-Jun-21 11:48:16

The OP has either sorted it, or not.
LOOK AT THE DATE. JAN 2019.

jaylucy Sat 26-Jun-21 11:39:06

Sadly, he has a problem.
I was on the understanding that many if not all of the online gambling websites have limits they set? Can only guess that he is using more than one website or app.
Nothing can really be done unless he admits that he has a problem .
If you go to the NHS website there is a section on problem gambling under the Health and Welfare bit, with several websites, groups and professionals to contact.
Good Luck, hope that he finally realises what he's doing.

grandtanteJE65 Sat 26-Jun-21 11:31:45

Your husband is becoming addicted to gambling.

Until he himself admits this, you cannot help him. No addiction goes away or is cured unless the person who is addicted really wants out of the addiction..

What you must do now is to protect your and his finances.

Monday morning bright and early, if you cannot do this online that is, contact your bank and close all joint accounts that you and your husband have.

Move the money into a current account in your name, a savings account or a direct debit to pay household bills, or both of these if funds allow it, and open an account in your husband's name, making sure that there is only a small amount of money in it. His salary or pension can be paid straight into this account and get the bank to set up a transfer to be effected on the day of the month his salary is paid in transferring whatever he usually pays of household expenses to a direct debit in your name alone.

Have your own salary or pension paid into an account in your name that he cannot access
and make absolutely certain that he cannot access any of your savings.

I realise these are drastic measures and you may need a solicitor to advise you on what you may or may not legally do to protect yourself in this situation.
However if you do not act now, you risk finding tha
t
your husband has gambled every penny you both have away leaving you with a mountain of debt.
Al ot depends too on how your husband reacts when you tell him of these safeguards you have put in place. Sorry about the spacing, I've hit a wrong key and can't correct the mistake.

Katie59 Wed 23-Jun-21 20:00:22

If he is gambling with payments made from your joint account you must stop it, it’s very easy to get out of control, thousands become tens of thousands. I would be seriously worried because as his wife you are jointly liable, the only winners are the bookies and the tax man

Grannycool52 Wed 23-Jun-21 16:30:10

Didn't realize that this was an old thread, as it came up as active.

Grannycool52 Wed 23-Jun-21 16:23:20

Cake hunter, this is very stressful for you.
I hope you don't y my saying this, but if your dh is being furtive are you sure that 1,000 GBP is the total that he has lost. I met gamblers in the course of my former work who borrowed money without their spouses knowledge, so their losses/ debts were much larger than first thought. One man eventually lost the family home.
This isn't meant to alarm you, just to emphasize that you and he really need help before things go too far.
All the best.

Aldom Wed 23-Jun-21 15:46:45

Katchsim Reported

Sarnia Wed 23-Jun-21 15:39:10

This is a problem that will only get bigger if it isn't dealt with now. His reactions of anger, denial and secrecy are big red flags in identifying an addict. Left unchecked the £1000 will look like small change in the not too distant future. If this sounds all doom and gloom it is because I have been there, thanks to my ex-husband. Please deal with it now and look after yourself.

KatchSim Wed 23-Jun-21 12:11:12

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Flan3 Sun 13-Jun-21 13:54:54

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DiscoDancer1975 Thu 08-Oct-20 15:57:29

This thread is nearly two years old.

trustgone4sure Thu 08-Oct-20 15:19:09

Ps ,sorry about the spelling cockup.

trustgone4sure Thu 08-Oct-20 15:17:42

Would it be possble cakehunter to go to the bank and tell/ask them to not allow the transaction to go through ?.
You could go to one where thwy don`t know you.
Fingers crossed for you.

Nikolai20ts Thu 08-Oct-20 15:14:09

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M0nica Sat 26-Jan-19 20:10:05

cakehunter flowers