How good is taken for granted?

I can only speak about my own family but one DS gets 'hangry' when he hasn't eaten and can come across as grumpy and sometimes critical but he makes up for it at other times. He leads a very busy life and often works very long days so I never call him, I leave him to call me. We text, WhatsApp and email but he has a reputation for not always responding and not just to us. Another has two young children so is very busy but he messages quite often and we skype at weekends (sometimes at other times too) but not every weekend. Leaving it to them to contact us seems to work and does mean that they have time to talk because they have chosen the time to call.

Thanks all..it helps to know we are understood and not alone.

Don’t take it to heart rocknroll.
Some people don’t like chatting on the phone. I don’t either. I found the weekly phone calls with DM and DMiL quite a strain though I loved them both.
Do you see your DS very often? I think it’s what he’s like when you’re with him that matters more.
FWIW, I wouldn’t say anything to him. You don’t want to seem needy over something as trivial as a phone call.
I often feel a bit sad on AC’s birthdays. Time passing and the memories of when they were little.

I think it can be difficult for children to see their parents as people. Therefore 'mum' is taken for granted. She will always be there, and she will put up with you no matter what you do. If my son spoke to me in such an off-hand manner, I wouldn't bother phoning him again.

Lives are so busy today and there's far more stress and worry than there ever was which must make it difficult to have " light-hearted " conversations when a person can't shut-off from work and home concerns.
I don't hear/see much from my own daughter but I know that she's working umpteen hours and when/if she has time off half her day is spent sleeping so I don't bother her.
These are uncertain times so there's bound to be concerns of sorts and because most of us here have all the time in the world to mull over many things that don't particularly matter, spare a thought for those living in this world at the present moment. I'd hate it to be honest and am glad to be the age I am and not having to be reliant on a wage coming in.

Rocknroll Could your son have had a celebration last night and felt a bit tired or is he always like that ?
If he has had a b7sy week at work he could be tired,I know how you feel with regard to responses you get when phoning one of my sons is always the happy chap and enquires about me and his dad and what we are up to,the other son well !! its like pulling teeth but we get there in the end.

He could of just woke up, hence the 'I need coffee' which is usually my first thought.

I am ashamed to say that my DH is sometimes like that with his DM. I find it very rude and ungrateful. Occasionally she picks him up on it which is what I think you should do, gently. Perhaps text first tomorrow to find out when would be a good time for a call. Start the chat by checking present has arrived, hope he likes it, etc., then tell him that you were a bit upset.
I don’t think it’s because mu DH doesn’t love my MIL. I think it’s because he gets tired and it’s all about the timing of the call (not that I think that is any excuse).

I think a lot of adult children revert back to childhish behaviour when talking to their parents.
Its probably habit more than anything else.
Mean though.

I am certainly taken for granted. As for phone calls ....non existent. So now, I just text. Ofcourse and TRY to see them at least once a week and in the case of one son, once a fortnight (maybe).
I practically have brought up my 2 grandchildren (by daughter). I live on my and very often she used to ask me over for Sunday lunch ....don't know when I last went over. All my children live just 10 mins drive away.
It's sad, but there are lot of us in the same boat.

Perhaps he finds his birthday depressing, perhaps something else is going on with him. Try not to be upset you did a nice thing- its not you.