Sex and relationships - expert Q&A with Trudy Hannington

Tracker, I'm sorry to hear of your health problems, but glad to hear your dw (dear wife) is so loving and reasonable about the lack of sex,

Imo, there are other ways to be "intimate," people, if sex is off the table. Shared experiences, shared viewpoints, the joys of our dd and gc, etc. - so much more makes me feel intimate with dh than just the physical

I bloody hope not!

Lots of material here for FB and the Daily Mail!

Deleted at the request of OP

I have had bladder and prostate cancer had radiotherapy for prostate 5years ago and am all clear but sex not good nhs have been fantastic with different treatments without success have one more to try and if no success we have decided to not have any more when I tell nhs I am 80 yrs old they say no problem .plus I had heart valve replacement 6months after radiotherapy my wife is fantastic about it all she says we have had a good sex life had 2 daughters,4grandchildren 3great grandchildren plu 1 more later this year .

Hilda

Oh dear am beginning to fear even obvious humour does not work on here anymore. Am sure There are plenty of 'older/mature etc' folks having a full and enjoyable time....it was just very noticeable that more people on GN seemed to be interested in Sleep problems...or Cauliflower cheese.

Lily65 are you serious, if so why should older people not be messing about? with sex

If intercourse not possible, there are other ways. Oral sex, hands, toys etc. You can still be intimate and have a satisfying sex life too.

Partner and I have been together 25 years. Both early 60s. He had prostate cancer treated with hormones and radiotherapy so sex was not then possible. Since treatment ended we have managed intercourse twice though not very satisfactorily for either of us. For the last few months neither of us has raised the subject or apparently had the urge - I definitely haven't. He's retired early and the combination of us being together a lot more and little intimacy is causing us to drift apart. I suffer from vaginal dryness and he was using Viagra even before the cancer. How do we restore things? Clearly we need to talk but I'm quite happy without sex though I do miss the closeness we once had. A trip to GP? (Have name changed in case anyone wonders who this new person is)

Yup, a good night's sleep is far more important!

Speaking to my closest old friends, all in their 70's, it seems that the general consensus is that they are glad that this aspect of their life/relationship has dwindled away. The only dissenters are a youngish widow, and one whose DH is no longer capable.

or cauliflower cheese, always popular. Old people shouldn't be messing about with sex anyway.

Interesting that more people have responded to the questionnaire on sleep problems!!

I'll break the ice with a question that comes up often in carers support groups:

a) What to do if the spouse/carer wants to have sex with their longterm partner, but the partner now lacks the capacity to consent?

b) What to do if the partner with Dementia is continually trying to instigate sex but the carer/partner cannot bring themselves to co-operate?

Why did you call your documentary by that title ?