Recent split

Gordonbennet Those rose tinted glasses all cleared now I feel and good for you now you can get on with your life.
Some men need to have a relationship on the go and be looked after they move on very quickly and to my mind that shows that there was very little commitment in the first place (if that makes sense).
Make time to go out with your girlfriends and enjoy being your own person you'll soon meet someone.

Thank you for all your replies, they were what I needed to hear!

He is desperate to be with somebody, and at the minute will be going all out to lure her in. I have been looking back with rose tinted glasses, and these are now becoming clear, and if I’m honest (though he has a lot going for him) I couldn’t stand him, doesn’t bode well for a relationship.

It’s done now, and I’m feeling better already. Thank you all once again

It's a great idea to block and delete his number Gordonbennett. You need to get this man out of your head as well as your life, and all the time he's contacting you, he's making that virtually impossible.

It's time to look forward and get ready for what life has to offer. Good luck.

I have to echo the words of wisdom from others here. You were obviously the strong one and can forge ahead with a life of your own, whereas he was the weak one who clung to you (or whoever he could find).
As NanaandGrampy pointed out, he'll never change as "whilst pursuing you he’s seeing someone else and all the fine romantic words he might send are worthless" so you have definitely done the right thing and the future ahead is clear and bright!

You sound like a sensible strong woman Gordon, you'll work through it.

I know its a big generalisation but personally I think men never leave someone till they have someone to go to. Not sure if that's true but some men stay with their mum, then move in with a gf or wife...etc etc . He probably NEEDS to be with someone -- anyone to be fair.

You can see clearly now ( don't break into song lol) - you'll be fine .

I’m sure it wasn’t a relationship of convenience and I’m sure you thought it was- or could be- meaningful. Sadly that wasn’t the case, so I think your emotions- and his- are rather confused. You have done the right thing, and are obviously finding things that you value in your life. You need to value yourself and be kind to yourself now, and know that these conflicting feelings won’t last forever.

I'm surprised the relationship has gone on for as long as it has given the circumstances as it sounds like one of convenience rather than a meaningful one.

I’m going to delete/block his number too!

Thank you stella and pop. I’m steely enough not to text him/answer him. I know I don’t want him. I just need to work through these irrational feelings, and yes, it will pass..

Thank you nana. You’re correct when you say I’m grieving what could have been, and the wasted time. I think they are the main reasons, also that he has found someone and I haven’t. I had plenty of time to change my mind and go back, but I didn’t, and don’t, miss him one bit, at times I didn’t even like him! He has nobody in his life, so needs to find a ‘mate’. I just needed some wise words to console me

Relationships are so complicated, even when you know you have done the right thing in leaving you still have residual feelings for your ex. It's hard to move on and how you feel now will pass. You are doing absolutely the right thing in keeping occupied, keep strong.

Block him and move on. As you as you keep up these sporadic texts, you'll be connected to him. Stop caring what he is doing - you're well rid of him . Good luck.

Welcome Gordon if you’re new here !

I think in a breakup such as you described there is an element of ‘ I don’t want you but I don’t want anyone else to have you either’! It’s not that you want him back , more an expression that he’s moved on quite quickly.

You’ve confirmed that a leopard doesn’t change his spots as whilst pursuing you he’s seeing someone else and all the fine romantic words he might send are worthless.

Perhaps to some extent you are grieving what could have been or even that you feel sad at wasted time ?

7 years is a long time and the loss of a relationship , even a poor one, will hurt. Be kind to yourself and give yourself some time to come to terms with it. If it was me though, I’d block his number ?