Alarm Bells Ringing?

That's terrible, CamJ.
Get some advice from a solicitor, or from Citizens' Advice, to protect yourself.

Been there......awful time for you. Forget the emotions, get practical and above all, make sure you have every detail of your joint finances and if he has any accounts in his solo name, make sure he declares them. Tears can blind your vision.....no time for tears - you can do that once your finances are sorted. Good luck

Grans please read my latest post to thank you.

Thank you Grans for all those helpful and supportive messages.
Yes many have read between the lines correctly. I have been through every emotion known to woman this week and am totally alone. If there was a senor railcard to use to go to hell and back I would have saved a bit of money this week - sorry I don't do emojis.
I can't give you any more details for fear of recognition but every day gets worse than the last. God help me and anyone else in this situation.

As CamJ is a new poster who hasn’t come back to elaborate do you realise we are probably all talking to ourselves??

Are we talking about Best Friend's DH or yours, CamJ?

Either way, it sounds like a bit more than alarm bells should be involved.

Protect the marital finances. Ask your friend to see a solicitor. Most will offer a free half hour .

BYO

MYOB

Thank you, Solitaire! I finally learned that life’s too short and leopards don’t change their spots! Onwards and upwards!

startingover61 well done, the only way is up! Best wishes for your new life...never look back X

Having been in a similar position (for much too long) - and now happily divorced and completely rid of the serial adulterer to whom I was married for a long time - I’d advise getting legal advice as soon as possible (like NOW) and freezing any joint accounts so he can’t access (and possibly empty) them. Talking didn’t work with my ex, he was hell bent on going his own way and pleasing himself. I’m about to move into my own home (exchanged contracts this week) and am so looking forward to having it exactly as I want. Support from friends and family is crucial for anyone going through this sort of situation.

"and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee" en.wikisource.org/wiki/Meditation_XVII

Be there for her but be very careful what you say about him / the situation. e.g my DS and partner separated, my ex DH told DS he was pleased as he never liked her. DS and partner are now back together - things are a bit tricky between DS and exDH!!

Frankly, in this case, the loss of the money is far worse than the loss of a selfish bounder. Secure the cash is my advice.

Previous posters are right, secure your finances. Camj you should support your friend in doing this asap. Then she can decide how she feels and how she wants to go on. Putting some money out of his reach might make the husband think again if he wants his marriage to continue and the friend might think too. It would be good so secure the money before having a scene about it, if she has not yet done so.

The very reason most women have their own bank accounts. No man would ever buy favours with my cash.

It's good to talk annodomini

They 'need to talk'.

And, what a good title for your thread!

No internet!!!!

Welcome op, if you are new!

More than alarm bells are ringing here, this is a case of for whom the bell tolls.....
Your friend is going to need lots of support, practical and emotional, advice offered only when asked for and a listening heart.

My alarm bells are saying is this ................

Hmmm. I am surprised the OP had to ask the question.

I'd say let him have his fun, boys will be boys, and his wife can turn a blind eye to it all. And smash those pesky alarm bells with a hammer. Not.

Sigh.

Oh dear and the worst feeling is that everyone probably knew about it but you. So now she needs to be practical and as sodapop says, get the finances separated. If she's planning to divorce him then there are immediate steps she must take to secure her future. She's probably in shock at the moment, but this is where friends can support her to stay focused on her needs. Legal advice is essential and you could offer to go along with her for support. The best thing you can do to help your friend is just be there to listen.