Do you have many friends?

Good Idea Granless I recently moved to Woolwich from Cornwall to help bring up my first grandchild SE28

Hi mumskimumski - have sent a pm to you regarding this subject.

Lots of people have large groups of friends , but I'd rather have one or two 'proper' good friends

Hello Granless,what a good idea.I never knew what loneliness meant. DN20

I have lifelong friends from school I've always seen regularly,the longest being 65years ago from nursery school.Several from 60 years ago,at school and a couple from my 20s .They all mean the world to me and are like extra family.I have also made a couple in more recent years, one very good one from Gransnet, who I really enjoy seeing regularly. I don't live near family and don't drive , so I appreciate my friends so much .

Forgot to mention my very best friend who,lives 100 miles away.I don’t see her and her husband often, but it feels just like yesterday when I do.We have known each other for almost 50 years .I met her in North London soon after I began teaching in that area. We are more like sisters which is great,because neither of us has any siblings.

that should read ‘several’.

I lost my DH 10 years ago last October so I have had to make anew life for myself. Now I am lucky to have se real friends in different ‘groups’ .I still see some former colleagues from teaching days .Some of them I meet for coffee /lunch and also see some at U3A meetings.Another group are people I met when volunteering at a group supporting parents and careers of Autistic children - now sadly closed and some I met at church several years ago . I no longer go there on my own, but do see one couple fairly often to go out for a coffee.
It’s taken a long time to meet all these people and I still miss having someone at home to share outings,,holidays and just daily life.I really miss having some male company to go out with ,in spite of my ‘wide circle of friends ‘ (as my daughter calls it)who are all female.

My close friend who lived nearby and I could ring her up to go out shopping or a coffee has died. My other friend lives the other side of the country and we meet about once a year. Other than that I know plenty of people who I stop and chat with and sometimes enjoy a coffee if we meet when we are out. Other than that I also lucky to have my husband as my best friend and I am happy as I am.

Anniebach, I do feel sad that you and your sisters are estranged. I've no idea why and not for me to question but they may be missing you too and too proud to admit it. One of you needs to make the first move. Life's to short. I have a sister who lives a 3 hour drive away and don't see very often but she's been with me through thick and thin. We talk on the phone have a laugh really at each others constant mishaps and life's stresses, then all seems much better. She is my best friend. Wouldn't it be lovely to be able to do the same with your sisters. I'll wave a magic wand for you I also have one other close best friend who I've known since starting school 60 years ago. We can tell each other anything and we've been there for each other through the good times and the bad. I have lots of other friends who I've known for years, but none so close. NannyOrGranny I have been volunteering at an elderly residential home for nearly 5 years and have been and still am blessed to have made such lovely friends there and some real characters. We play dominoes and chat and I would really recommend volunteering of some kind.

Friends can be a moveable feast - some people dip in and out of my life for longer or shorter periods. I have one good friend from school, we were aged 5 when we met, we don’t always agree (religion!) but we do get on very well with some lovely shared memories. Some colleagues from various work places and a few neighbours have become friends.

On balance, I do rather identify with this photo ..... !

Gosh, there are a lot of lonely people out there. When someone posts re loneliness, I think they don’t want to hear how many friends you do have. I should think they are looking for some advice as to what to do about making friends. I’ve offered this advice probably three times now - put your postcode (I’m talking UK here) first part, mine is SK6, and see if you can meet up with someone near you for coffee.

When my late DH was nearing retirement we decided to make a move from where we had spent most of our married life, leaving behind an assortment of friends, one or two really close, that we had known for many years .Somehow it was never the same, what did we expect ?Bearing in mind we all spoke the same language, surprising what a difference three hundred miles can make, consequently there wasn't the bonding and we were never to make the kind of friends we had in previous years. I believe age must play a large part and find myself, even more now without DH, unable to have that special kind of friendship like I did in the past.

I feel blessed to have a wonderful group of very supportive friends, there are 8 of us, we've known each other for varying lengths of time some from childhood. We go out for meals, go to see shows (usually musicals as that is one interest we all have in common and how some of us met). We have 'girlie' nights in, which always involve food and drink and once a year we rent a house or cottage and go away for a long weekend - we're due to go in a few weeks time for our 10th holiday. Of the 8 of us 6 are now on our own.

In my book there are acquaintances,friends of a sort, but as for real friends,my husband is number one everytime and now, sadly following death and illness I have lost my longer standing school made friends.
So I am left with only 2 great chums.
Both were met whilst undergoing cancer treatment almost 30 years ago...........one a wife of a dear man also undergoing treatment,he sadly was the first of our group to die.
His wife and I became real soul mates,a lovely genuine friend that we could share and share.
However she is now in her mid 90`s and very unwell(as am I) so meeting often is not on the cards,however we can `phone or send letters, though again nowadays these are few and far between on her side ......understandably.
The other lady was the the DIL of a lady undergoing treatment and because of my assisting this elderly lady throughout her stay,the DIL took a shine to me and we became good friends.
Again she lives many miles away so we rely mainly on letters and phone calls.
But my dearest friend,my hubby is always within call and we share just about everything.I would be truly lost without him being close by.It works equally both ways.

Nope. Not a one. Don't need them either. Had "friends" when I was younger but as time has gone by I have realised that actually they were fair weather "friends", not the true kind that I've heard of from others!

I have friends that live all over the world, those I met whilst working and living a broad. Although England is my birth country, I have no close friends where I live and after living in friendly Europe, found the English very hard to socialise with. My husband also finds it difficult and so now we rarely go out. It is quite isolating but I do try by joining groups and guilds but after 20 years of moving into the village, I can honestly say I haven't made any friends. However things are getting better as villagers are starting to smile and say hello if they see me. Just have to be here for 30 years before we are considered that we belong,

I don't really have any friends - not what I call friends - acquaintances, neighbours yes, but I feel I have to be guarded what I say to them, because I know in a couple of days one of them will say, 'oh I hear that you're .......'. I think friends are someone I can say anything to, discuss anything and nothing will be repeated to anyone. Someone who will give me their opinion on any of my predicaments and want to genuinely help and not just be nosey.

Someone has suggested us friendless people ought to meet up - so if there is anyone in Somerset?

Hello everyone, Having moved areas many times in our 40 years of marriage, due to my husbands job, I have made many acquaintances over the years but to be honest I don't have any friends. I have tried the usual social media sites including this ones meet up, but have had no response. We have last year moved area again to be nearer our beautiful granddaughter, but apart from supporting family I don't see anyone else. My husband is my best friend, but would certainly like a female friend. Over the years I have tried joining groups, and again have formed acquaintances through this, but always feel a bit of an outsider.
I sometimes feel quite sad and lonely and I know I probably don't make friends easily, although looking back I do think I've tried.

I don’t have any friends just one I talk to online because we both enter competitions. It would be nice to have someone to speak with but I’m terrible at making friends and my husband always felt we didn’t need anyone else also because I have an attendant wheelchair my daughter always needs to be with me so not fair on her to have to be with me while I was talking with a friend

Greetings bijou,

Apart from my lovely husband I only have one friend who I see once a fortnight but having lots of friends is not especially important and does not bother me
Obviously as one gets older the numbers of friends and family get smaller

Hi GrannyorNanny, I know just how you feel, I have no friends at and feel so lonely.
I don’t go out very often at all, I’m disabled and I always think no one wants to be bothered with me.
My Mum and my best friend have both passed away and I miss them so much.
I’m 61.
❤️?xx

GrannyOrNanny. (I'm "Granny")I would say do not compare yourself to others. You have two true loyal long-standing friends. These are the real friends. While it is lovely to go to groups and meet kind, friendly people, we do not become close friends with them in the way you have your friendship with your friends. I believe there is research in Psychology about friends - I did my degree in the early 1990s - which found on average people had about 2 to 4 friends in our close circle near to us whom we trust and whom we know really well, then other friends are in circles further out. The research, I am sure I remember, found that for good mental health a person needs only a few friends, maybe just two, in the nearest circle.
I am like you. Partly from being disabled and not getting out, but also it is in my nature. So many of my really close friends have died, many not from being old. I now have about two close friends but even one of those has been "using" me a bit and has hurt me rather. I have become very self-sufficient, although I am not entirely sure it is the best way. However, the stronger you are on your own the better you can live your life, I have found.

My mother craved company which made it difficult for her. I am the opposite, fortunately for me. I would rather be at home alone than have to be politely sitting in a group that bores me. I learned this when a group at my Church changed drastically when the Leader changed. From being interesting and up to date it was tailored to her idea of elderly people who had cognitive problems. So we played endless Bingo on picture cards. It was driving me insane. I stopped going of course but then many of my dear friends from the group had passed on anyway.

Stick with your two friends. You are doing fine. If you want company do the things everyone suggests, join a class or go to a a group. I am so bad at this now I feel awful saying it! But I regard those things as "company" and not close friends!

I have friends - for different occasions! School friends, college friends, friends from where we've lived but still keep in touch, local friends......I've not got one close friend and I prefer it that way. It's nice to have someone round for coffee on occasion but not on a daily basis. I like my own company and relish time on my own and I don't like to rely on other people but it's nice that people seem to enjoy my company