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Do you have many friends?

(92 Posts)
GrannyOrNanny Mon 01-Apr-19 18:02:44

I have only two. One is a wonderful friend I made at school years ago and we catch up maybe twice a year. The second is an old work colleague who has since moved to Spain (lucky her) and I’ve only seen her twice in the last 12years.
I’d have to say my hubby is my best friend but I’m feeling left out when I hear work colleagues talk about their best friends, groups of friends and feel a bit ‘out of it all’. Husbands are great but some things they just don’t want to do, what whilst a friend would.

Septimia Mon 01-Apr-19 18:17:47

I have one good friend that I met at nursery school. We keep in touch but don't actually see each other very often although, when we do, it's like we've never been apart. I exchange Christmas and birthday cards with a couple of other school friends and regularly email an ex-neighbour. Apart from that, I only have acquaintances, some closer than others admittedly, with whom I interact thanks to local social events and who are neighbours. My husband is my best friend but sometimes I feel the need for a woman to talk to!

Anniebach Mon 01-Apr-19 18:42:11

I miss my three sisters , we had our own friends but the sister bond was there from childhood, teens, marriages, children , even harder is we live in the same town.

FountainPen Mon 01-Apr-19 18:46:59

We have had a couple of longs threads recently about makings friends in later life. My dearest and closest friend from our schooldays died four years ago far too young. My husband also died very young.

Now retired, I have worked hard to develop new interests and social circles. I've been very lucky to have become involved in activities including voluntary jobs which bring me into contact with many interesting and talented people. Through those circles I have made many new friends, both women and men and have a good social life.

I'm not sure we can ever have again that closeness we had with friends we made in childhood, all those memories rooted in the places we lived and went to school, the shared experiences of growing from child to adulthood. However, I do still think it's possible to develop a small circle of very good friends in later life, people whose company we enjoy and in whom we can confide and depend on in times of trouble.

GrannyGravy13 Mon 01-Apr-19 18:48:16

I am very fortunate that I see people I was at school with weekly.

I am very good friends with the girl I met in my first job in London.

I am still in contact with "my school gate mums" who go to the same gym as I do so see them a couple of times a week.

My first next door neighbor is my DD's Godmother.

Mr.GG13 and I were very active in various charities and fellowship clubs and have made several extremely good "couple friends" these friendships have lasted over 30 years.

I suppose I have 5 really close girlfriends and 3 close men friends who I can confide in and call anytime.

Chewbacca Mon 01-Apr-19 19:51:16

I had 4 very close "best friends" that I've had for over 40 years but one died last year. Of the other 3; I see one of them every week and we phone or text in between. The other 2 I see a couple of times a month but again, we text or phone in between. I have 2 others that I meet up every 6 weeks or so. If I had a middle of the night emergency, I know I could call any one of them and they'd come to help me.

crazyH Mon 01-Apr-19 19:54:36

I have a few good friends but none of them compare to my dear, dear, dearest friend, who I lost 2 years ago to the dreaded C. I still miss her. Like me, she too was divorced, but her ex husband went bankrupt just before they divorced, so she wasn't left with much, but my word, what a rich heart she had. Never believed in penny pinching, unlike some of my well-off friends, who check the price of a pea before they buy it. I still miss her, I miss going out for lunches ...nowhere fancy, just pub lunches. Miss her so much 😘

GrannyOrNanny Mon 01-Apr-19 20:04:40

@Septimia, I guess that’s the same for me. We’re very happily married, get along just fine but I miss the chats and coffee with dear friends.

GrannyOrNanny Mon 01-Apr-19 20:05:47

@CrazyH; I lost a dear friend many many moons ago now and it can be hard when no-one else matches up x

GrannyOrNanny Mon 01-Apr-19 20:06:35

@Annie, oh how sad. Do you not meet up now then?

GrannyOrNanny Mon 01-Apr-19 20:07:44

@FountainPen, that’s my intention this year to volunteer and make new friends along the way.

GrannyOrNanny Mon 01-Apr-19 20:08:51

How nice Chewbacca! I just wish I had that, but I’ll work on it I guess.

Lavazza1st Mon 01-Apr-19 20:16:40

I have a few good close friends to have coffee with, close family and a then wider range of aquaintances who I talk to locally when walking the dog or bumping into people to chat to. I think it would be a good idea to make more close friends as I keep thinking it's not good to put all my eggs in one basket. Maybe I should do a voluntary job or get a separate little job outside the home (I work from home so don't meet any new people at work)

Urmstongran Mon 01-Apr-19 20:36:43

Yes and I feel very fortunate. We’ve been retired almost 5 years and in addition to the good friends I already had, I’ve had the good luck and more leisure time to make more.

We flit between here in Manchester and over in Malaga where we have a small apartment and I consider I’ve now made real friends there too. Plenty of leisure time certainly helps to increase the opportunity for socialising!

Day6 Mon 01-Apr-19 22:41:00

I have several groups of people (we get together often) that I class as long term friends and I have friends in the town we left a few years ago. I also meet up with ex colleagues.

I am not the sort really to have a bosom buddy - a close friend I'd want to confide in. I have laughs and fun with the friends I have (they'd say I was gregarious) and that is enough for me. I feel I can be honest and confide in my OH, my siblings and my children if I feel the need.

I don't like having too many arrangements. I need down time and solitude. I like people and will chat happily to strangers but have never felt the need to phone people to chat, drop in on people or to be busy, busy, busy with social arrangements. I always like coming home to peace and quite if we have been out or away with friends.

Day6 Mon 01-Apr-19 22:43:41

*quiet

BlueBelle Mon 01-Apr-19 22:54:52

I have three very close friends who aren’t connected one I was at school with and we meet every couple of weeks I love her dearly another I meet at least monthly I ve known her 35 years and we understand each other and my very best friend who I see regularly go to theatre cinema and lunches with swap plants and ideas etc and speak on the phone every few days also about 35 years from work I m also lucky enough to arrange and meet up with 14 schoolfriends for lunch once a month they were not all close friends at school but one was my bridesmaid and at least three were also social friends in those days So I m lucky

notanan2 Mon 01-Apr-19 22:56:37

Nope. Lots of aquaintances. No good friends.

Not locally.

I have hung on to a few good friends from childhood and my 20s, but havent been able to generate any new friendships in a long time.

The friends from my youth are scattered all over the world now so dont physically see them but we do chat.

I miss having good friends that I can actually meet up with.

I am not short of "company" but am short of friends. I just dont know how to make new good friends.

Tangerine Mon 01-Apr-19 22:58:15

About half a dozen very good friends.

I talk about different things with different friends.

notanan2 Mon 01-Apr-19 22:59:05

Those childhood/youth bonds cant be recreated. IMO.

I suppose I will have to learn to be satisfied with "friendly aquaintances" but TBH I find those kind of "friendships" just generate more loneliness than being alone..

B9exchange Mon 01-Apr-19 23:07:34

I have a few friends I have coffee or lunch with every couple of months, and some friends that we see together regularly, and others not so often. But I have always longed for the really close friends my daughter has, that she texts and speaks to every day, goes on holiday with several times a year, and in any emergency no matter how minor, would be there for her. I must have gone wrong somewhere!

crazyH Mon 01-Apr-19 23:09:06

Agree totally Notanan2 xx

GrandmainOz Tue 02-Apr-19 01:55:20

I find I lost all my friends since my son died and I stopped socialising. We used to regularly throw parties and I was in touch by almost daily text with a couple of ladies I was close to and would often see them for coffee.
Now I have only one friend here who understands and keeps in contact.
Didn't help that we emigrated so all my old friends are back in blight and we drifted apart.
I'm very lucky that I am extremely close to my AC, two of whom are daughters and we talk freely.
I also have a very strong marriage and consider my OH to be my best friend. I do miss having girlfriends to laugh with but I learned a lot about true friends after my bereavement!

silverlining48 Tue 02-Apr-19 08:34:39

Oh yes, ozgrandma. true friends. Hmm....I found a couple of very long term friends have dropped below the radar since serious family health problems hit us.

SalsaQueen Tue 02-Apr-19 09:08:03

I meet up fortnightly with a friend I worked with - we've known each other for about 18 years.

Another 2 friends are ex-girlfriends of my 2 sons. One is 62 (a little bit older than me, she is 27 years older than my son) and we go to exercise classes together 3 evenings a week. The older is the ex of my eldest son, and she's 37. I work with her once a week, and we're in touch almost daily. She's married with a child, and I am on friendly terms with her husband.

Overall, I don't make friends easily - I have lots of acquaintances but don't really like the company of a lot of women.