Losing friend

people move away for all sorts of reasons ,you have to go through a sort of grieving process, yes there is skype etc
but it isn't the same. theres all sorts of quotes about a friendships being close even when you are miles apart.I feel they are attempts to deny the fact that they moved away .I have had friends move away over time, the connections become faded some eventually fade out.It happened with my son and family as time goes on i miss them less, i accept now they are gone from my everyday life ,very sad but very true.

Hi Kiki2
I feel for you I really do but I hope I can put a different perspective on it for you ...
I lost my best friend just over 3 years ago. We were so close and I still miss her every day. She was only 50 and passed away suddenly.

I would be so pleased right now if she were still with us even if it was the other side of the world as we could still stay in contact. There is the phone, email, Skype, face time or good old fashioned letter writing. If you have a special bond the distance won't matter.

I really do understand how sad you feel but maybe looking for the positive in the situation and realise you still both have a close friendship that will survive the distance. Also think of the great holidays you could have meeting up again.

Good luck to both of you and I hope you both work it out as a good friendship is too precious to let go unless you have no choice xx

A few years ago my husband and I were considering moving to the seaside, which would have been about 2 hours from my best friend who has always lived within about 10 minutes from us. She told me that she'd hate me moving and not to be able to see me as often. So I ditched the plans, and my husband understood. Friends do owe each other some consideration. Is it possible your friend might have also ditched her plans if you'd told her how upset you'd be?

You can Skype her and speak face to face.

I moved away 150 miles so still in this country from my best friend 3 years ago. We speak on the phone every week and we visit each other every couple of months . We are still as close as ever even though we miss each
other loads. Just keep connection as best you can and work hard to keep the friendship fresh

My best friend since school days moved to another country 12 years ago. We text and use facebook. I've never liked phone calls much. She comes home to see her mother about once a year and we meet up for lunch. The friendship HAS changed because we no longer know the ins and outs of each others lives. I feel we should have made more of an effort but time has gone on and we've let things drift. Try to be more proactive when your friend moves.

Bless you I feel for you. I hav friends are that I worked wit hand we meet up for a coffee we have known each other for twenty years and are always happy to chat away and speak on the phone. You will find other things to occupy you your just sad at the moment. Wishing you all the best.

Yes I think that is what will happen and that is why I am so depressed ; you can t just replace a friend with whom you were so clise

Thank you for your words of encouragement ; however , my friend has never been one for phoning ; she would text and we would meet ; it’s those meetings especially that I will miss

Yes that’s what I think and fear exactly , that’s why I am very sad

I also had 2 very good, close friends who moved hundreds of miles away for their work and families. We promised we'd always stay in touch and keep the friendship alive with phone calls, Facebook and occasional visits to each other. It did work for a year or so but, as they became more settled in their new home, jobs and friendships; the phone calls became fewer and more brief and my invitations to meet up were accepted less frequently due to pressure of new commitments with jobs and families.

It's very sad, and I wish it wasn't so, but I fully understand and appreciate that they've had to build new lives and new social networks to enable them to settle happily in their new homes. We still keep in touch sporadically but I'm afraid it's harder on the ones left behind, rather than the ones moving on.

All I can offer is understanding - You may regret not seeing your friend before they move or you may not - But I've a feeling something deeper is bothering you - If so, just be honest with yourself about what that may be - Doing so might help you to see the bigger picture and provide you with confidence to proceed regardless of what you decide to do -

Good luck!

I went through a period where 2 good friends moved away in the span of a few months. I too felt bereft. However I put on a smile the best I could and soldiered on. I knew they were feeling overwhelmed with their moves, which were based more on economics and jobs rather than retirement.

One of my friends ended up moving back after 7 or 8 years, but the other is still far away. We will make a coffee date on a Sunday morning and yak on the phone for an hour or more getting caught up. When we do visit each other (maybe every few years) we will spend endless hours talking, laughing and sometimes crying.

Friendships need to be nourished; you get back what you put in. I'm sure your friend is nervous about starting fresh somewhere and will miss you terribly once the excitement of settling in settles down. Make sure to call her and try to plan a visit so you both have something to look forward to.

From what I hear from my faraway friend, she has made acquaintances but new friends never replace old ones. She cherishes our phone visits as much as I do.

Chin up, thinking of you.

Oddly enough I met up with an ‘old’ (she prefers long-standing) friend today that I’ve not seen for a couple of years.

We lived and worked together in the same town when our children were very young and through their teens until the went to Uni. Then she moved north and I moved south.

But it was as if we’d never been apart just as BB says but unlike BB I felt we were just as close as ever. Perhaps that’s because we keep in touch via emails and phone calls? So easy thee days.

One of my very close friends moved a long way away about six years ago and yes our friendship has definitely lost itself We still send Christmas and Birthday presents and talk on FB but the closeness has gone We have only managed to meet up once and it was like we d never been apart but it was only for that short time Distance hasn’t changed our friendship but it has taken our closeness away She has a new life new friends and we’ve both had to make our lives separately

Welcome if this is your first post.

I’m sorry you’re feeling the loss of your friend so keenly but ask yourself....do you think she will be missing you too? It’s not just about you , you are both likely feeling the same.

By not seeing her you’re punishing her and you ? Not seeing her won’t change how you feel , whether you miss her now or later. Of course you could end up pushing her away totally - is that what you’re trying to do? Will that make you feel better?

I think you should sit down, have a frank discussion but do try and be pleased for her if this is what she wants - that will confirm to her what great friends you are. Hopefully you can visit when she moves .