My dad is driving me crazy

Stella

Thank you Stella, I will try.

Sounds like dementia - all these things are symptoms of it. Since you are presumably just talking on the phone to him, let him talk , sympathise, and then hang up and forget it.

There isn't any treatment for this - at his age you will only have a fairly short time to put up with it. So let his accusations roll off you like water off a duck's back. You'll be fine. My mother was like this - I'd just say yes, yes, then hang up and go on with life. It's all you need to do.

If you are 6,000 miles from him, then maybe it would be better to reduce your contact - to save yourself!

It's not selfishness to look after your own mental well-being - and I say this as someone who lived (and suffered with) a paranoid schizophrenic for many years and it drove me to the point of collapse.

Don't let that happen to you.

Yes Sue, that sounds great, but I am 6000 miles away and he refuses to take any meds for pain or for his problems. No relatives left or friends visit as he is very anti social over the past 40 years. I try the best I can

I think that's a very cruel attitude, Yukki. Who wants to live out their life in a state of fear and anxiety? That's not a life anyone would choose for themselves, surely?

A family friend has been in a similar situation. His dementia & paranoia is being treated and he is much calmer. He thinks he's a young man again and likes to make plans for his future, even though we know it's years behind him now. He's happy and content in his world and that's the important thing.

I assume he has dementia as he forgets what he says and creates a story in his mind of a conspircy against him. When he ask for help he does not believe what we tell him and stays up all night thinking about his attorney and accountant will take all his money. After a week of this then he will moves on to a new conspiracy. It hard for them to do their job to help him. I spoke to his nurse and doctor and they just tell me his paranoia is the only thing keeping him alive other wise he would have nothing to keep him busy.

My FiL could be very difficult, like your father, and accused my DH (and others) of all sorts of things which weren't true. To some extent it was because of his dementia. However, we discovered that he tended to get urinary infections which caused him to be more confused and agitated. We got to recognise the symptoms (which can be difficult to spot) and quickly got him antibiotics whenever necessary.
So, as others have said, a visit to the GP is a good idea.

he'll BLAME you ,sorry keyboard problems

he'll BLAME you ,sorry keyboard problems

he's grieving maybe you need to try to be a bit more understanding.He lost his wife of many years and he's feeling lost and alone.he'll blame you for everything because we always blame those nearest to us .Its only been a few weeks you have to give him time to come to terms with his loss.

See his GP he needs assessing.

When my mil displayed similar behaviours we discovered it to be the worsening of her dementia. Get your father checked out

I'm sorry to read this. Does your dad have a diagnosis of dementia or similar? He possibly needs medication to help deal with the paranoia.