Gransnet forums


Assuming I will pick them up?

(49 Posts)
gigi1958 Mon 15-Apr-19 01:21:23

So my 2 sisters are planning a trip to Greece we live in the States. We are Greek and I have never been and they are going with some college roommates. My one sister whom was invited and I have never been. They are going to visit with some cousins and go back to the village my Dad came from.

I was not extended an invitation to go on this trip. I would have never gone had I been invited but I feel a bit hurt I was not invited.

And when the trip looked like it was getting canceled my one sister asked me to go with her and my other sister. I felt a bit like a last minute choice.

So my one sister calls me tonight all excited saying they booked their flights. Then she says that my brother in law will be taking them to the airport 2.5 hours away. Then she proceeded to ask me if I would pick her up. She does not want to pay for parking at the airport etc. I said maybe maybe not and I was honest and said I felt slighted for not being asked to go which she knew. She assumed that I would drop everything and pick her up at the airport.

My sister can be less than fun to be around and I cant' imagine her mood after traveling for close to 12-18 hours and being stuck in the car with her for 2-3 hours

Am I being ugly or am I just setting a boundary.

MawBroonsback Mon 15-Apr-19 11:57:40

I thought Urmstongran was talking about “Apricity” ?

Annaram1 Mon 15-Apr-19 11:59:59

gigil, she is your sister and you don't want to fall out with her, If you agree to drive her, could you stay overnight at her place so you don't have to drive all that way twice? You told her you felt slighted. What did she say to that? You have been honest, which is good. Frankly. having already told her how you feel, the situation is probably already resolved and she will have to arrange other transport.
I hope you get to go to Greece with other family members,

anitamp1 Mon 15-Apr-19 12:30:13

Two separate issues here. You were upset at not being asked, even though you would not have gone. If she knew you wouldn't go, for whatever reason, then I don't really see why she needed to invite you. So can't really see your grievance here.
As for picking her up. If you dont want to do it, but dont want to fall out with her, it's not difficult to make the excuse of an alternative committment/appointment. Or simply say you dont feel able to drive 5 or 6 hours in one day.

Quickdraw Mon 15-Apr-19 12:30:59

Apricity I just wanted to say that I also like your name. I like the sound of it, the meaning of it and the positive sentiment behind it actually brought a tear to my eye. Sorry if that sounds a bit mushy. I never thought about this stage of life quite in that way so thankyou ☺

Maggiemaybe Mon 15-Apr-19 13:38:50

A 5/6 hour round trip? I wouldn’t do that for anyone, nor would I ask anyone to do it for me. That’s what airport trains, buses and taxis are for.

No, it’s not convenient is the perfect reply.

00mam00 Mon 15-Apr-19 13:57:44

Gigi, I think your sister is being a bit thick skinned to ask you to pick her up, when you have already told her you were upset at not being asked to go in the first place.

No, is the only answer, either that it is not convenient or that you simply are not up to such a long drive.

Urmstongran Mon 15-Apr-19 16:54:41

Thank you Apricity for clarifying the next step! I will definitely try it this summer and let you know how I get on. I love the idea of sticking to my guns and feeling empowered. In theory.
However if you are a wuss (or a people pleaser) like me, it’s a big step!

Urmstongran Mon 15-Apr-19 17:03:32

Oh god GG54 that’s way too big a step for a timid mouse (me) to take. I just couldn’t say that sentence! I’m having a palpitation even thinking about uttering those words.

I do sometimes wonder - what makes some people brave and others not?

Apricity Mon 15-Apr-19 19:25:25

Urmstongran, maybe we could start a new thread called 'The Mouse that Roared' (I think it was the title of an old film) about that very question. 🐭

Urmstongran Mon 15-Apr-19 20:11:20

Yes do!

quizqueen Mon 15-Apr-19 20:20:57

Your sister doesn't want to park for airport parking but she expects you to drive for hours to pick her up and pay for petrol for the pleasure of doing it. I think you know the answer to that. Tell her to get a National Express coach.

quizqueen Mon 15-Apr-19 20:21:23

Sorry, pay for parking.

sharon103 Mon 15-Apr-19 21:40:43

Agree Apricity and GabriellaG54 no means no and no-one should have to give an explanation. The more you keep saying yes to people the more you get put on in my experience. I've got older and wiser. grin

Apricity Mon 15-Apr-19 22:36:58

Urmstongran, it is done. I have started a new thread on this issue called 'The mouse that roared.' This is for you. 💐

Chewbacca Mon 15-Apr-19 22:44:05

No chance I'd take her. That's what taxis were invented for. You could help by giving her a telephone number for a taxi company that specialises in airport runs though.

willa45 Tue 16-Apr-19 01:03:16

To expect an airport pickup two and a half hours away is a huge imposition considering you have to drive all the way there and back. Just saying.....

gigi1958 Tue 16-Apr-19 01:04:15

Thank you all for the responses I am sticking to my guns this time and saying a firm NO.

And yes I probably would have picked her up had I been invited from the get go however I was not.

So not good enough to travel with not good enough to drive to airports!
I will put it nicely though and just say it's a lot to ask and they should consider just paying for parking.

In my family they will be pissed off at me for weeks or bring it up and throw it back at me no doubt but you know what too bad for them.
I love my sister even like them but sometimes they have -0- sensitivity and they do take advantage of me.
Thank you all for letting me vent and rant!

Lilyflower Tue 16-Apr-19 08:37:05

I do not understand why people think it is OK to ask others to pick up and drop from airports as if they were a taxi service. Just say no.

I live about twenty miles from Heathrow which is a nightmare journey at the best of times and the pits of hell at rush hour. I remember one relative (who doesn't even like me) dropping serious hints about wanting a lift to Heathrow at five in the morning when I had a teaching day in front of me.

I replied that, as we were technically near the air hub there were many taxi services doing a cheap and efficient airport drop off. The icy silence which greeted this cheery advice has lasted has lasted over a decade.

FarNorth Tue 16-Apr-19 12:50:22

People who 'throw it back' at you are being bullies.
Don't let it bother you.

gigi1958 Tue 16-Apr-19 15:36:03

Well I just tossed an email to my other sister telling her I will not be picking anyone up and that if they could afford a trip to Greece why cant't they afford parking at the airport?

FarNorth and Lilyflower, I am sure this will be thrown back at me and I will remember it is them being bullies.

I think I should plan a trip to Greece but with my son and on one else. He would be the coolest person ever to travel with!

silverlining48 Tue 16-Apr-19 16:39:08

I think you should go to Greece gigi with your son who also has those same roots. It would be one to remember for sure.

gigi1958 Fri 19-Apr-19 00:33:01

Thank you all again for your kind and thoughtful responses!!!
This is a lovely group I am glad I found you!

Starlady Sat 20-Apr-19 00:32:41

I'm glad you found us, too, Gigi! Good for you for sticking to your guns! Too bad for them if they throw it back at you! You could just as easily throw back at them that they didn't originally invite you on the trip, and it was nerve to them turn around and ask you to be their taxi service! Or if you think that will just lead to a fight, then maybe just assert that you're not a taxi service. If they argue just keep restating it and change the topic.

Hope you do take that trip with your ds! Greece has such a great heritage - birthplace of democracy and all that - and so much beauty! And it's part of your and ds' history. So again, I hope you two go and enjoy!