Withholding Sex

Great news!
We can all stop worrying.

Starlady, they've decided as a couple to make efforts to work through their issues -

Ok, let me see if I get this rosecarmel... Your friend is unhappy in her marriage, and so, among other things, no longer wants sex with her husband. The whole relationship "exhausts" her, but she's settling for just stopping he sex because she doens't want to lose him.

If she were deliberately withholding - or providing - sex to get something specific, I would say that was manipulation. But, as others have said, since it's just a matter of her not wanting sex because he is emotionally abusive, etc. then tha's not manipulation. In fact, I would say, she's trying to protect herself from further emotional manipulation or maybe expressing her unhappiness in a non-verbal way. Or perhaps she's punishing him for his abusive behavior by withholding sex, which I wouldn't blame her for. Or maybe she just doesn't feel all lovey-dovey after being verbally abused. I know I wouldn't.

What concerns me more is that she hasn't sought counseling or doesn't just leave him. Why is she afraid to lose someone who has been so cruel to her? I get her refraining from sex, but, imo, it's a poor substitute for getting away from him, altogether, and seeking a happier life. Has she given any thought to divorce? I hope so.

On planet Zog, all things are possible..........

I've read this thread from top to bottom. Twice. And I still don't understand...... meta discussion? What's that got to do with sex or the lack of it?

That was supposed to be an emoji ?

Grin

Multi- tasking! Every woman’s strength!

Especially if trying to withhold sex at the same time ! ?

Just like a bit of a meaningful natter (chat, gosssip) over the garden fence , a most enjoyable cacophony , most enjoyable MawBroonsback , ?

In case the term “meta-discussion” is not one in your everyday repertoire, I thought a brief exposition might be helpful

The term meta-discussion means a discussion whose subject is a discussion. Meta-discussion explores such issues as the style of a discussion, its participants, the setting in which the discussion occurs, and the relationship of the discussion to other discussions on the same or different topics.
Still awake at the back?

?

Bridgeit

A relative of mine in a tempestuous marriage decided at around age 56 to end the sexual aspect of her marriage. They have separate bedrooms but are happy. It’s still a marriage.

Seriousness of a thread doesn’t need to be broken up.
But how delightful it is for us to know that You & your friends Rosecaramel were helped by the lovely ladies on GN especially as it is so obvious help is definitely need. Mature grown ups such as GNetters , are very obliging & helpful we seen & heard it all before. ?

Mawbroom, I enjoy meta-discussion, too- It's entertaining to read - There's the leader's slapstick style questioning, the followers dysfunctional group think responses - It breaks up the seriousness of any thread - It's fun - But what's lovely is despite the cacophony of "it", it doesn't detract anything from the intelligent responses to the OP -- all of which have proven helpful, both for myself and my friend as well -

But I'm thoroughly enjoying responding to your comments- I love thistle- I'm just not all that fond of the spines -
Explains the prickly responses.

Withholding sex just to be mean is manipulative - not wanting sex because you’re married to an abusive pig is completely understandable.
And if you’re having sex with someone just to ‘keep the peace’ you’re the one being manipulated / abused.
If your partner is lovely but you just don’t fancy him anymore & really can’t be bothered to have sex because, well.....you just can’t be bothered - then you’re being mean.

So many possibilities.

Quote not quite

To quite phoenix

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Mawbroomsback, to clarify, I'm not the least bit interested in providing you, specifically, with explanations-

But I'm thoroughly enjoying responding to your comments- I love thistle- I'm just not all that fond of the spines-

And for clarification that this is not a hypothetical situation, but regarding a situation with a friend.
Was it really too much to ask? rosecarmel.

Thank you Far North (for the explanation that BS (bull sh*t) it had simply -or fortunately - passed me by.

FarNorth, I'm doing what I can-

Bridgeit, I also believe that with ongoing help and support it can be done-