Can you Google Domestic Abuse and Domestic Violence and see how many of the items apply to you. That will give you a clearer answer.
If his behaviour is recent you could research to see if it's health related. Or he been behaving like this for years? It could still be health related and only you know if he would be willing to get any possible health issues checked out.
If it is Abuse or Violence you then have to choose how you go forward with you life.
Whatever you choose to do I would recommend you get some good advice from a Solicitor. If you don't think you can afford one look at places like Women's Aid, Citizens Advice or any other such agencies in your area. May be Age Concern or whatever they are called now if you feel you are old enough to seek their help.
While I love the idea of 2 cards (nicely put).
I'm not sure I would be letting you OH know anything until you are clear in your own mind what is really going on and how you want to go forward.
Be careful who you talk if they know you both or you think you'd want to keep any kind of relationship going with them when you are clearer about what you want you future to look like.
If you can get any counselling go for it, even if it's just you. Feeling supported and understood can make a huge difference when we are in difficult situations.
Nothing is likely to change overnight so, as others have said, find ways to keep yourself safe. Think about you can go stay with someone or have someone with you. What others ways can you keep safe in mind as well as body until there is better outcome for you.
I'm sure you'll get something from the replies here on GN. Good Luck and well done for reaching out, that is never easy.
Ethical question - how do you feel about second chance??
