Adult Children

Perhaps ignorance really is bliss CrazyH ? bit off thread but when you see your adult children doing or behaving in a way the really gets your goat does anyone think and say to themselves I can really see myself or my other half there

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I am estranged from my DS but I love and like him, I am proud of him. He has 4 half brothers by his DF second marriage. His DF is my first exDH, when we talk about our children he will admit he doesn’t like all of them. He has 5 overall and likes and adores 3 of them.

He would never tell them though.

Thank you Smileless2012
The crux of the rifts is how disrespectful they've become to family members who deserve better treatment. I won't defend their behaviour because it's inexcusable.
I've tried talking to them but they don't seem to care.

I'm sorry to hear about your estrangement, it can't be easy.

love0c 'The elephant in the room' is like a ruddy mammoth.

It's a rollercoaster ride this parenthood game

I wonder tinafl?

Two sons both totally different, eldest one married 3 lovely grandchildren ❤️ Youngest single . Things haven’t always been easy with either different lives different problems . We try to help both of them and hope we have but because of their situations the help has been in different ways.
I will always love them that’s never going to change but agree with showergelfresh treading carefully sometimes does become a bit eeugh!
Wonder what they say about us ?

It makes perfect sense love0c.

Only the one DS. I love him and like him in equal measure. He was a kind and gentle boy growing up and he's now a kind and gentle man in adulthood. I'm immensely proud of him
and I can ask him to do anything to help me and I know he'd be there in a heartbeat.

Maryeliza why are you always so angry? And why can't you express yourself without resorting to FFS^ in almost all of your posts? You seem to be quite an intelligent and articulate person and so it mystifies me that you arent able to express yourself better.

OP FFS- I shan’t bother to respond to any of your posts again

I like and love all 3 of my daughters.
But that doesn't mean things have always been easy.

in front of

Will lol at all your fab posts a bit later as on the phone there is always the annoying adverts at the top.
Keep ‘em coming

Some of you with the ‘perfect’ families where everyone ‘gets on so well’ I can’t help but feel a bit suspicious of...although maybe you really do!

I do know that things are not always as they seem as a general rule and my question was all to do with delving a bit below the surface and being honest.

Thanks for all your more realistic reply’s.

All getting along but having to ‘tread carefully’ is brilliant though.

I was going to start another thread along that line asking

‘Do you ever get really fed up with having to ‘tread carefully’?

Sometimes I think to myself ‘ I am a bit sick of having to pretend I know nothing I’m front of these ‘I know everything’ youngsters just to keep the peace and everything ticking along nicely.

Yes - it’s easy to end up talking about ‘the weather’.

I'm lucky to have two fabulous Ac, who of course I love but very much like as well.
We all get on so well and know that we can rely on each other.

I love all my 3 children BUT my eldest daughter - divorced and often needs our help in different ways - can be quite sneary towards us and how we live our life. I know that she really appreciates us and tells other people how good we are but never tells us!
The other two are happier in their life and have lovely partners so no problems with them - I pray it stays that way.

I have a son my husband has a son. Love them both although they are not related (only by our marriage) they are very similar in personalities. The only problem is my son lives in Portugal and stepson lives in Somerset, we live in Essex - do you think they are trying to tell us something?????
Wish they were closer but at least we get lovely holidays.

That’s a very interesting question showergelfresh

In many ways my eldest daughter is my clone, we have identical tastes, have often been known to buy the same clothes or shoes, homes are very similar, we read the same books, share a sense of humour, but that’s probably where it ends. She is over sensitive in the extreme, she can take offence at absolutely anything, and frequently does! I love her, and enjoy her company, but she’s not easy!

Youngest daughter couldn’t be more different. She had a very good education and was on course for a very good career, when she got involved with an awful man, had a child, now involved with someone even worse, two more children! Her life is a complete struggle, of her own making admittedly, and we give her quite a lot of help, but she’s a great mum, always cheerful, we have a very easy relationship, i am sad that she threw everything away, and despair about her choice of men, but I’m proud of how she just gets in with it.

Our son, the baby of the family, see him every day, but feel I know very little about him, don’t always like him, can be very intolerant, and short tempered, know I could always depend on him though

All in all, like most families, we rub along, cousins are all great friends, so we see a lot of each other, just have to tread carefully

Love both my daughters loads and like them too. They are both quite different so sometimes I will do different things which each one but we all do things together too especially at times like birthdays and Christmas. The sisters get on really well too. They sometimes irritate me in small ways but overall it’s great

I love both my sons but enjoy the company of the younger one more. They are like chalk and cheese and although they get on ok they'll never be best mates with each other. If I ask my youngest for help with anything he always says yes whereas his brother always wants to know the ins and outs of why I need it. I try to treat them the same but invariably end up doing more for the eldest one although he'd never admit that. Neither is difficult to get on with just completely different from each other.

I love both my son and daughter equally but my daughter is an extremely difficult character to get on with. We provide a lot of support to her and our beautiful GD but we don't seem to be able to do right for doing wrong. She has a very complicated on/off relationship with the baby's father, if we ask how things are we either get a detailed breakdown of how difficult her life is, or told its none of our business and to keep our nose out!
She also thinks we care more about our son than her - but her says the same about her - so at least we are equally wrong on that front!
We Just can't win whatever we do so we just stay calm and carry on!!

We love both our adult sons very much. During the last year or two our eldest son's behaviour changes from one minute to the next. His attitude changes enormously on just about everything. We never know what to say about anything anymore really. He is only relaxed when he is on his own with his children. When with is wife he is anxious and obviously stressed. He looks to us to sort everything out when with his wife, like he needs reassurance. But when we do that seems to come back to bite us. We now just chat about utter trivia and we feel the 'elephant' just gets bigger. We still like him as well as love him but do not feel the same about him. Does that make any sense?

Love all the time!

Like? Most of the time, LOL! Actually, I would say there are some behaviors I don't like, even though I like and love DD overall.

I understand Wobbles I love both of our sons even though we haven't seen the youngest for more than 6 years and aren't allowed contact with our only GC.

I like our DS, he's a fabulous young man but don't like the person his brother's become.

I hope things can get resolved for your family.

I have 3 children, girl and 2 boys (woman and men, I should say). Love them all, but.........Daughter is the eldest. She can be sweet, kind, generous, but is sooooo moody. Those times, I don't like her. I also don't like her emotional weakness. She is still crying over her waste of space husband, who left her with 2 teenagers.
My older boy and I have butted heads on many occasions. He can be very cruel verbally (I don't line that part of him). But he is sensible and if there's anything I need advice on, I turn to him.
My youngest is a darling. You can't help but like him. He has never raised his voice to me. He enjoys my company (as long as his wife is also with us.). He won't come over for a cuppa and a chat, on his own (that's what I don't like about him)...and he's very disorganised ?

I love both my AC but I don't like the person one of them has become atm.
They did something last year which I'm still struggling to come to terms with.
And are now causing rifts in my immediate family.
I never envisaged that this would happen and it makes so very sad.

Both lovely people and we spend a lot of time together ,have simialr interests and views on life they would give the shirt off their back to anyone who needed it and they are fantastic parents .Biased,maybe but all true.My daughter has a gheart of gold and despite her own major health issues is always trying to help others .I couldn't be prouder of my kids .