Young mum/old granny

When my first grandchild was born 18 years ago, I realised that I was exactly 10 years older than my Mum had been when I had my first child. She was a wonderful grandmother, but only had 2, of similar ages, to care for. I have 6 grandsons, and my abilities and enthusiasm have been less and less as each of them arrived. The youngest pair are 5 and 6 and a real handful. It is a great sorrow to me that I have so much less patience and enthusiasm than I did 18 years ago.

You just have to accept what you can't change, and get on with it, unfortunately.

The main difference I find with the latest baby, is that I’m probably not as strong as I was nearly 20 years ago. By the end of the day, my shoulder is aching, I find getting all the equipment in an out of the car hard work, but other than that, I don’t see a lot of difference

I was a young Mum at 19, two by age of 21. I was longing to be a granny but it was looking unlikely. Then DD had an unplanned pregnancy in mid thirties. So I am delighted to be Nanny to a gorgeous little girl. I'm 57 and my Mum at 79 is also besotted with her great grand daughter. It is such a privilege to be blessed with Grandchildren regardless of age.

I m 62 and have just become a grandma for the first time. I do a lot of babysitting and helping my daughter out with my 6 month old grandson and I love it. I don t deny that it’s tiring and I m sure there will be more GC to come but I m determined to make the most of these times and hopefully it ll help me to stay young at heart and fitter as I do a lot of walking with the pushchair ?

silverlining48 Definitely don't avoid posting! It's not your fault.

If you can think of another name you'd be happy with, why not contact GNHQ to get it changed?
If not, don't worry. It's not the end of the world.

Lovely story Foxglove

I had my DD just after my 20th birthday. I was a bit put out when she told me I was going to be a grandmother at 50. However, it was the best thing ever. I feel very lucky that now, at almost 70, I have been lucky enough to see my DGD reach 19, go to uni etc.

Ginny, it's all very well to say that parents should sort out their own childcare, but so many nowadays need two salaries to pay the rent or mortgage (esp. in areas of very high house prices) and childcare is ruinously expensive. Plus many mothers are wary of giving up work for several years, even if they'd like to, because of the difficulty of getting back in where they left off.
My dd thoroughly enjoyed her 9 months and 12 months maternity leaves, but any more just wouldn't have been possible in her role.

Personally I've been happy to help to a certain extent with childcare - should add that dd and SIL have been very grateful, and have never taken it for granted - not true for everybody though, I know.
It has meant a very close relationship with Gdcs, which (since we don't live around the corner) I doubt we'd have otherwise.

I agree witzend, mothers almost always have to go back to work, I know both my daughters did, but I don’t think that they should ever assume their parents will pick up the childcare
I still work, but I take one day a week off to have my grandchildren, which is perfect, I can’t be expected to do any more, but I get to spend time with them, my grandchildren who live a distance away, always went to nursery

This reminded me of when my sister became pregnant for the first time at 35. Our mum was 55 when my nephew arrived. My sister said she was worried to leave her son with mum as she was SO old at 55 and may drop him!! I pointed out that we were all still in one piece despite being dropped on the head a few times. Didn't go down well. Mum still looks after him now and he is 19!

I think it's to do with higher education and careers. I had our first daughter at 32 (nearly 33) and our third at 37. DD3 has had her children at 31, 33 and 36. DD2 had hers at 35 and 37. So I suppose I'm an "old" grandmother but it's all I'm used to!

DS was born when I was 30; he and his wife produced my GD when they were 36, following up with GSs 1 and 2 in quick succession. I was 66 and DH 72 when we became grandparents. We are both quite fit and enjoy helping out now and then. - and these factors are obviously connected. Therefore,I have joined DH on his twice-weekly gym visits. I heartily dislike most exercise, apart from walking, but now regard the gym as my ‘job’, part of the necessary effort to slow down physical decline so that I can continue to enjoy being an active grandparent for a while yet.

Congratulations! Fantastic news for you. You may feel sad that you live further away but with modern communications you can be in constant touch and be as much a part of the family as you want to be. Your dd will be able to ring you for advice if she needs it. You won't need to baby sit. You can visit. You can take up knitting cute outfits, you can buy cute outfits, you can buy educational toys on line, a new world awaits if you want it to. There are lots of activities you can do with your gc that don't involve strenuous exercise. Wait till gc is 2 or 3 and getting really interesting. You will be so glad she/he is in your life.

In my mid sixties, I certainly don’t consider myself a young granny, but I notice at the school gates, ladies a lot older than me! And I’m often unsure if some people are mummy’s or granny’s, seems anything goes these days!

A group of us meet regularly, all roughly the same age. Two are great-grandmothers, 2 have children but no grandchildren, and I'm a recent first-time gran. Such is 21st century family life!

I have my third grandson at age, 70. I am now 74.
I do feel like an old granny because I am one.

However, I’m still expected to run around after 3 year old gs and do child minding.

I sometimes wish my Dd had him when she was much younger.
Ten years ago, I had much more energy. Just a few hours looking after him and I’m zonked out. He is of course, a naturally boisterous little boy.
Luckily, I’m in reasonably good health. But it takes me a day or two to recover after childcare.

My grandmother had her first at 26...my mum had her first at 26...I had my first at 26...my niece her first at 26 .....we all waited with baited breath as MY daughter reached her 26th year!!! She sent all of us a text saying “ stop looking at me, I’m not having a kid until I’m 30”. She had her first at 30, and broke the spell. I don’t particularly want to be a great-grandmother , so I’m hoping my granddaughter waits til I’m no longer here. She’s 7 !! But if I’m still around in 19 years time I’ll be watching her very closely.!!

It is more common than you think wiith lots having children later in life ypur age gap is similar to Alex Jones ofthe One Show and her mum so enjoy

Being a young GP has its drawbacks too when people keep thinking you're the mother and you have to correct them. Must be confusing for the GC.

Family of 4. Ages 15, 14, 3 and 1. I was the year old and mother 44 when I was born. By about 8/9 years old I hated having older parents. They didn't have the sane interests as my friends' parents, didn't have the same energy, and obviously were involved with the adult siblings. By the time I was mid 30s both parents were deceased. For me having children late 30s or in 40s is a definite no, no. I had my children late 20s. They had their children mid 30s. If I am lucky I will be here when they leave school.

It is lovely having grandchildren whenever they arrive but I think there might be an ideal age - perhaps when you are past the most demanding time in your career, and possibly starting to slow down a bit, but are still fit enough to run around and have fun with them.

I am your age Silverlining 47. I had my children at 26 and 29 .I now have GCs aged 14,11,10and5. The older ones live 300miles from me ,so I rarely see them ,unfortunately. The younger ones are adopted and their Mum( my daughter) will be 46 next week. She would have chosen to have children at a younger age, but endometriosis made that impossible,unfortunately. There are many different aged GPs and GCs. Some are already GPs at my daughter’s age ! Hope all goes well for your daughter and you soon have a lovely GC to get to know and love.a Age is just a number,so they say!

My eldest grandson is 34 this year and my youngest grandson is 7 months old with 20 others in between. I am now 75. I also have 6 greatgrandchildren and another on the way. It was my mother who filled in with childcare when needed for the older ones, bless her, because I was busy with a career and looking after my 2nd family. Living abroad I have found that friends who have become grandparents since they moved abroad (because they are becoming grandparents much later than I did) are finding they are missing not being closer to the children while they are young. In fact a few have moved back for that reason.

My grandparents were all dead before I was born. My mum was 27 when she had her first child. I had my first at 26, and my fourth when I was 39.
I have two grandchildren aged 20 and 17. My youngest daughter had her first child when she was 44 and I was 76. She is two now, but lives in Australia. I will be visiting them again in November, but in my eighties I don’t know how many more visits I will be able to make. My main sadness is that I may not last long enough for her to have me fixed in her memory as her Grandma.
My daughter has a friend who became a mum at 15, a granny at 32, and a great-grandma at 49! Can anyone beat that?

I recall when I was teaching, in my 40s I think, being asked if I was a Nana. When I said No, not yet, the pupil was scathing, My Mam's a Nana and she's only 33!