Trusting again

He's a guarded individual, so despite however long you've known him, you'll not ever get to know him fully- And if you can't get to know him, you can only trust him so much- Only you can decide if that's enough to continue, or not-

Some good responses to your dilemma - and it is a dilemma ! Time for you to take stock and decide where you want to be ie with him or without him. I think you need some professional help here and urge you to contact Relate or similar counselling to work out what compromises you are willing to accept for the forseeable future. Maybe now is the time for you to say "no more" and stand your ground - he does rather seem to have had it all his own way so far. "Bought and paid for" is an old saying but still rings true today, sadly. Maybe "past its sell by date" is a better one for you to apply to him!! You are his comfort blanket, his emotional security perhaps - if that is what you are happy with then go ahead to Australia - enjoy another new experience - only you can decide. Good luck........

I agree with crazyH - a physical affair can be "just sex" but an emotional affair involves him pouring his heart out to her. It's actually worse .

I'd pack up and leave him - let him go to Australia on his own . Don't leave your family to stay with him - he won't change.

Are your 2 adult children in this country? I would be very wary of agreeing to go to Australia unless I felt I could really trust my husband. Has the decision been made about Australia or not yet? Think carefully. Wishing you well.

To be honest Imagreata.....if he said it was physical and not emotional, I would not be too concerned. But an emotional relationship is more of a threat really. That's how I feel anyway.
My husband left me. We are now divorced. I had no career either.
Don't worry about the finances....the courts will make sure that you are taken care of, depending on your age and length of marriage. Yours is a long marriage, so you will be treated favourably.
Good luck ! xx

I'm assuming that he's taking up the post in Australia----with you going with him ??