NannyB2604
I know you've had enough examples now to be reassured that you are not weird! Or if you are weird, so are very many of us!!
I have a friend who phones me rather a lot. She regularly asks if my children have been in touch. For some reason this question never comes across in a benign way as if she is just enquiring after them. She always says something to the effect that they "can't be bothered" with me. Yet she does not know them. As a family, my children and I don't need to keep phoning or texting unless there is something to say. We know everything is going along as usual. I suppose, as I live alone, I could kick the bucket and nobody would know. But I have an arrangement with a neighbour opposite - merely because I have dogs and don't want them to be left on their own. Anyway on the "weird" topic - no, my family don't get in touch much. My house has been wrecked by a builder and will take ages to make safe for the little children anyway. We all live a long way from each other so visiting requires overnight stays. I don't like travelling now. So that is that. I don't see anyone - sometimes for over a week. I go to the local shops for my food and have to do that on the days I am well enough to get out. I meet one or two people then. I used to go to church but I can't park near enough now.
Funnily enough I am happy on my own. I can pace myself. I had a hard time when I was married. It was so stressful. So now I try to reduce stress and get by as best I can.
You are not a weird family dear Nanny B2604. Some people are so full of their family and seeing their grandchildren it does make things look as if it is not normal to not see them very much. And of course, those people who see their DGC are naturally happy about it and want to tell us, it would be unusual for a GP not to talk about their DGC! But there are a vast number of us with families spread far-afield and for whom contact is just too difficult, so we very rarely see them.
When you asked if you were weird, I immediately remembered when I first came to GNet. I thought I would leave because I felt so terribly out of place and as if I did not belong. Indeed I felt as if the people who encountered me at the beginning really did not like me and resented me too. I felt so different. For example, I do not see my grandchildren very much least of all look after them every week, I do not mow my lawn and dig the borders, I do not go to Stately Homes or visit places of interest. I do not have bike rides, walk a mile a day, go on a cruise, have a husband to make a cup of tea for, the many things that were being discussed around the time I joined were all the things I could not share anecdotes about. I was widowed at the age of 42 with children at school and far from the terribly loss being mentioned a lot on these pages, I had battled on, working and raising children, alone for 20 years. I was given short-shrift when I said I did not go out. The reason being that I cannot get out except with a lot of pain and difficulty, as I have been disabled for quite a long time now and live alone. I thought joining would be a way f contacting people. But quickly I felt I did not qualify, everyone seemed so active, busy with outings and visits and seeing grandchildren and gardening. Then my quite simple discussion idea was given such a sharp put-down
with such a personal attack on me. It was just one person but it was the sharpest and most unwarranted attack - the shock of this hit me out of the blue very badly. It wouldn't have been more of a shock if a dragon had appeared in my kitchen and seared off my skin with a roar of flaming breath! Even though the scorn poured on me by this particular response was due to an assumption that was not true, I just shrivelled up inside and crawled back into the privacy of my quiet little life which I share with nobody, where I seldom talk to anybody and in which I live away from the busy, chattering, social realm of the world outside. The things that were written stayed in my head for months and I could not bear to look on GransNet again for a long time.
Now I know there are many people quite the opposite of those I encountered in that early endeavour into the world that is GransNet. I am glad I came back under a different name and gave it another try.
There are all sorts of people in the world and to think someone is weird because their circumstances are different to yours is obviously not acceptable and really not something you find very often here! In fact I'd say just about never!
Just live your life making the best of it as you can, is my way. Make friends when and where you can. Help anyone you possibly can. Enjoy the simple things. Yesterday my roses smelled so wonderful it absolutely made my day! Ignore anyone who chooses not to appreciate you. Be happy if you can!
I am lucky because I had an experience that taught me that God is truly Love and is right here all around us. So I never feel alone. I know how lucky I am to have had that experience and I know others don't believe it so I try not to put them off by talking about it too much. But believe me - we are truly loved and not alone!
Don't worry! Anyway what's wrong with being weird? To be weird is to be normal!!
Take your pick!