Bit of back story
Living with partner now for 16yrs, both our house though initially I owed my own house he rented his.
So I used my money off my house 78k as deposit, he getting mortgage for the other half.
So initially it was fine, if anything was bought for the house we’d go halves. Holidays, house things , etc.
Fast forward to last 6 years.
He had been having an affair for 2 yrs, I kept saying to him your seeing someone. All I got was your mad, who would want me nearly 60 it’s in your head.
He was buying more clothes(designer) going out during the day, saying he was going for a run in his car or just going for a coffee.
We had so many arguments about it, completely denied.
He then came up with a story he’d gone round to an old pals from school , who he’d not set eyes on for 45 yrs. at this point I said what you just knocked on his door and said Hi.
Yer you can do that with .......
He started going out every Friday night, rain,snow,hail.
One night I went to where this guy lives, searched all the pub car parks and his house. No car.
I texted him and said your not there, so where are you.
He came home usual time 10.30 and went mad saying I’d been invading his space, how dare I.
After that there were things like, I’m going to a car rally overnight, I’m going to ..... barbecue. I’d say ok, I’ll come.
No you won’t like it, you’ve not been invited.
I really wanted to follow him, but knew he’d be looking about for me from me going looking for his car.
Didn’t want to get anyone else involved, doing it for me.
Anyway long story very short
We’ve stayed together, been 4 yrs now.
Things have eventually got better, but I don’t think I’ll ever trust him. He hurt me too much.
I also suffer from anxiety that as turned into depression.
It’s like today, we went to shops.
On the way home I just said, hey theses one off those frogs again. He had to slam the brakes on the car(my car) then bawled at me “ that’s your fault” no it isn’t take responsibility. He says fuck you, so I just said shut the fuck up. It’s always my fault whatever happens in any circumstances, take responsibility for your own actions and don’t blame me.
We never spoke all the way home, parks the car and he turns to me and kisses me. I said don’t think that cuts it.
No sorry,nothing.
I bought things for garden the other day, he asked how much but never gave half. Yet if I owe him, he asks for it right then and doesn’t let up .
Won’t buy or spend on the house, because he has to keep what money he as to last him till next year when he gets his government pension. Already retired with company pension. Spent all his 10k inheritance and 36k lump sum pension on sport car and sports motor bike and paying his side of mortgage Oh and her
It’s things like how tight he’s become, and his attitude that I think why didn’t I leave when fat hit the fan.
I say things like
Son can have my half off house, but you can stay in it till you die. I couldn’t leave you with having to find house at age ..... he says nothing about what he’d do.
At times like today’s argument and no apology and his thinking I think wtf I’m leaving.
I know I’m not thinking logically, but it pisses me off.
I feel he just thinks off himself
Don’t know why I’ve gone on so much, just ranting need to get it out
