Finding it difficult to bond with DD

Tell her she is a wonderful mother, her child is absolutely gorgeous

Unless, god forbid, she isn't, of course. But new mothers need lots of reassurance.

If you disagree with her parenting, try to keep your ideas to yourself. Never give an unasked for opinion.

If you know that she really doesn't want something for her child (television, foodstuffs, whatever), always abide by her wishes.

You will probably learn something about what she didn't like about her own upbringing through the choices she makes for her child (I certainly did). And you'll also be pleasantly surprised at her choosing to do some things exactly the same as you did.

If you see each other most every week, it sounds like she likes you and of course she loves you.

Ooh sounds like a fraught relationship. There's alot of good advice on here for you. I really hope it works out.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kiki, congratulations on your coming new GC! I'm sorry you're dissatisfied w/ your relationship w/ DD and worried you won't get to be "close to" your GC. I'm not sure what you are defining as "close" though. Can you clarify?

"We don’t fall out exactly but I have to be careful what I say etc as she seems to know everything better than me."

Perhaps by "close" you mean you have visions of sharing the benefit of your experience w/ her/giving her advice that she appreciates. etc. Or having in depth discussions of various issues related to lifestyle, childrearing, etc., where you each give your opinion on an equal level, etc. W/ so many new ideas and so much new information today, on the Internet, etc. as others have said, that's not as common these days, if it ever was. That doesn't mean your relationship w/ DD isn't a good one, just that she isn't as likely to turn to you as a source of advice, and yes, she may feel she knows better b/c of her access to new ideas, etc.

As for her child, I'm sure you'll see them as often as you see DD - which seems to be quite frequently - and be involved in their lives (invited to events, etc.) - if, as others have cautioned, you don't give unsolicited advice on parenting, etc. I don't think you'll play a role in making decisions about how the child is raised, so IF, that's what you see as "close," then no, you probably won't get that. Bu I'm sure you'll be included in the child's life, so please be ready to be happy w/ that. Enjoy!

I'm sure you are worrying too much. Just because your daughter is not your best friend, and personally i find the mother daughter like matching dolls thing a bit creepy, Meow
You are still her mum with all your faults and failings. You have known her longer than anyone else has. You are probably worried about how it will be when baby arrives.
How do we know?
I still say the wrong thing frequently to DD though I try to bite my tongue and not set her off.
I once asked DD if she spoke to her Mil the way she speaks to me. Of course not! Sincere flattery. I think....??

Relationships with our adult children do vary and we are closer to some than others. Don't over think this, relax a little and enjoy your new grandchild but listen to your daughter's ideas on child care. Lots of good advice on here, don't push too hard let your daughter set the pace.

Thank you all for your wise and comforting words , there is certainly a lot there for me to think about
Thanks again