Silverlady79 it didn't register with your hubby because he just can't deal with it so he (and many others like him, mine included) do the ostrich routine - it's not nice is it. Your mil is mean spirited and you won't change her. However, you can decide not to permit her to hurt your feelings any longer - no one has a right to do that! Expect nowt from her then she won't disappoint! Buy her gift donations to charities (a goat or chickens to africa or a toilet - you get my drift) don't complain to hubby but innocently say - well what do you get someone who has everything ? and tell her it was his idea - isn't he clever? ? When she makes nasty remarks to you perhaps you could solicitously ask her what on earth happened in her life to make her so bitter. My first mil was a troublemaker of repute, said the nastiest things to her children's partners or behind their backs and yet saw herself as a pillar of her church! Caused me many tears yet who was it who helped the nurse make her comfy then lay her out, organised the funeral, did the paperwork, paid the caterers etc not her children but me. My last mil was sneaky, clearly resented her bachelor son marrying late in life and would demand his presence to find her TV remote, hearing aids etc etc even though she had an on call live in warden and he had moved away from her area. She spoilt my own mother's 90th, we took her on holiday, she spoilt that, nothing suited, then we went away without her and had to cut that short because she had a tantrum. She did her utmost to spoil her own daughters 2nd wedding day to a lovely man. It has taught me not to let history repeat now that I am a mil.