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Advice please.

(9 Posts)
Razzmatazz123 Mon 26-Aug-19 16:01:08

I have just received an email from a cousin which contained a screenshot of a comment from my mother. I estranged from her 6 years ago. I also lost her side of my family. I have a very good relationship with my father's side. My cousin believes my mother did not realise her comment would be visible to others on her friends list. The comment said my mother estranged from me for stealing, doing drugs and allowing my children to do drugs and she had no choice. My cousin knows I was the one who estranged and has questions. Now, 6 years ago I let my family go. I had very little relationship with them due to my mother who herself had a difficult relationship with them for a number of years. When they put aside their differences I was left out of gatherings. I decided that since they now had a good relationship with her and she needs to have a support system, to let the matter go. What should I do here? Should I tell my cousin the truth or ignore it and let her draw her own conclusions? I don't think after all this time I need that family, I have my own support system

mumofmadboys Mon 26-Aug-19 16:07:41

I think I would send an email to my cousin and gently put the record straight and then leave it there and put it behind you. You don't have to prove yourself to anyone.

notanan2 Mon 26-Aug-19 16:13:49

She is publishing online that you have broken the law. That is serious. I would consider police/legal advice to get het formally ordered to desist.

Usually I would say "let her! By slagging you off she is only showing her true colours" but these are serious accusations.

notanan2 Mon 26-Aug-19 16:16:41

Re the cousin I would reply:

Im not going to tell you what to think, I'll just ask you to consider this question:
If you had any proof at all of someone doing those things, would you
A: alert the relevant authorities and support services?
B: chat about it on facebook instead?

All the best, I have nothing to prove

luluaugust Mon 26-Aug-19 16:20:22

I would tell her the facts of what happened, you might wish to make it clear you are not looking for contact.

Razzmatazz123 Mon 26-Aug-19 16:23:03

I don't do drugs and neither do my children, they may have tried things and not told me, I wouldnt demonise them for it and have seen no evidence. My mother threw me out after my drink was spiked and I was attacked. I think that is where this notion came from. My job is very aware of her shenanigans because, obviously that sort of rumour would be devastating to a teacher. I have hair past my waist so can always do a hair strand drug test if needed to defend my honour.

Nico97 Mon 26-Aug-19 16:23:40

Put the record straight and then move on. You don't need this negativity in your life. flowers

Razzmatazz123 Mon 26-Aug-19 16:24:21

It is all unessesary drama isn't it

Razzmatazz123 Mon 26-Aug-19 17:08:10

I have replied that yes I estranged and no I am not amd never have been a drug addict and neither are my children. I haven't gone into any more detail. Even my brother chooses to believe her, although I did go back to university late in life to become a teacher so perhaps he feels it a justified belief. Who knows I am tired of trying to understand thi thinking. I cannot rationalise irrational behaviour.