How to deal with her personal odour?

FFS.

I sometimes think I've entered a parallel universe on this site.

you could say out loud "whats that smell 'and open a window and leave it.

Many people become "nose blind" to smells that they are familiar with.
I have a good friend who thinks she doesn't smell of cigarette smoke. It is so bad that when she gets into my car I have to open the sun roof and windows. I won't go into her house except to drop off her shopping. I've told her but she thinks I'm exaggerating.

Another friend was having viewing of her house which stank to high heaven of her old farting dog. She was desperate to sell so I suggested removing the animal during viewing and using spray to neutralise the odour. None of the family could smell it. She was grateful I had told her.

The kindest thing to do is tell the lady so that she is aware then can do something about it.

Pop in an anonymous note?
And word it a way that doesn’t sound like you?

I think I'd put it that you are having a similar problem and ask her what she would do in your position.
You could always buy a pack of Tena or some other pant liners and say that you had been sent a sample and got 2 lots by mistake so wondered if she would like to try them as well ?
I wonder if it is not actually her, but somewhere she visits or even she may have an unneutered tom cat that sprays everywhere?

I remember many years ago passing an old lady & there was a strong aroma from her.
I said to my friend if I ever got like that you would tell me, wouldn't you?
She said yes.
I'd hate to think I was giving off a wrong scent.
Always put it down to old people, my DH had a maiden aunt & her house used to stink something chronic, hence I think a gentle word done in a gentle way has to be done.
Tricia x

It would be awful if she lost some of her income over this. Have a kind word with her. Reassure her that you won’t tell anyone else about your conversation about this.

Please tell her.

Poor woman. It seems really sad that some people would just get a new cleaner. We see lots of complaints on GN about the advertising for problems down below but when we are asked for advice about them, we want to bolt. It is exactly why those adverts are needed so people don't need to be embarrassed by these issues.
OP, if you can't find a way of broaching the subject, you could get some leaflets about bladder problems from the Dr and how to get help and leave them where they can be seen.

I think I would ask if she has had a problem with uti's. I never had a uti in my life until I went through the menopause then I had one after another. I had so many anti biotics that I have become resistant to several (worryingly). In May last year I contracted sepsis following an operation - things were touch and go for a while but I lived to tell the tale. Following this my partner and daughter used to comment about the smell of urine on me (I could smell it to) - asked for a urology referral and following this I was prescribed oestrogen in a pessary form and to date, this has sorted the problem. Not had a uti since starting this and the awful smell has stopped. I know it was family members who spoke to me but I would have felt ok had it been a friend who mentioned it. I'm sure if you have a tactful conversation she will thank you for it ?

If it is so bad other folk she cleans for will have noticed.

I agree with madgran. That’s how I’d want someone to treat me. It’s the kindest way.

I wouldn't be able to say anything in this situation, I would find it too mortifying!

If she is a good cleaner, then stay out of the way while she is there and go round with an air-freshener afterwards!

If she's not using your toilet, then she must be wetting herself ? Is she nervous about using your facilities at all ?

Perhaps, subtly, ask her if she'd like to borrow a tena?

oldgimmer I sometimes think I've entered a parallel universe on this site.

Quite - join the club oldgimmer I am astounded

Madgran, you ask ‘what’s it all about? I’ll tell you....it’s living in a village! If even a word of this gets out, either through telling the cleaner ( however nicely!) or a friend or relative or neighbour of the cleaner, then the OP risks an almighty row at best or being ostracised at worst by the people she knows.

It’s either a put up with the smell situation or tell her that she isn’t needed anymore.

I would be mortified if I hadn't been told of the smell but I find it strange that her family are all spotlessly clean as you say in your post.
Is there any chance she is wearing the same cleaning clothes that she wears when she goes to other homes and has possibly sat in something ? as I find it hard to understand her not being aware of her own cleanliness.

Have had to have these sorts of conversations with a few people, male and female, over the years, as I worked with adults who were quite disadvantaged for a variety of reasons, some of whom had a 'blind spot' when it came to personal hygiene/odour. I found that the best way to broach the subject was to sit down with together with the person and to gently enquire whether they perhaps had a health issue, as it had been noticed that "they aren't smelling as fresh as they usually do" If you can do this kindly, maybe asking whether there is a health issue, maybe a new medication (some of which can cause an awful pong in that department) ...or even, a problem with getting laundry gone regularly. It's surprising how many of these hygiene issues can be tracked back to a very practical problem which the person is dealing with. The trick is to keep your tone gentle, your voice kind and watch your body language...don't avoid eye contact - if you can show that you are speaking from genuine concern and want to help if you can, most people will respond to that, albeit after a shocked silence and a few tears. Just be kind - imagine if it was you yourself with such a problem - you'd want to know, wouldn't you? I think that there are some good suggestions from OP on this thread and I hope that you can help this lady to sort her problem out with losing her dignity, or her job.

Many years ago at work, we had an office cleaner who had strong body odour. She was a great lady - happy, kind and friendly. Yes the room stank, but we just opened the windows after she'd left. We never said a word as it was just for a short time.

She may well have a problem about which she is aware so I wouldn't mention it.

I agree bluesixty.

I'm in my 40s. I have just had bladder botox for my leaking issues. Its really not too young to have problems.
Please do have the conversation, however difficult you (and she) may find it. She hopefully will thank you for it. She obviously isn't using any products or isn't changing them often enough.
Can you maybe 'have' some products that you don't 'get on with' and offer them to her, by way of a conversation starter?? Good luck

Go with Madgran's suggestion. I had a similar issue with a staff member B.O. Did a Madgran did and the person confessed she was struggling at home keeping herself and clothing clean. I helped her with landlord issues re hot water and washing machine. Also offered she could use my machine and come for a shower until resolved which didn't take long. Be honest and caring and try to offer a solution or at least offer to help find one.

If you value her then leave well alone. Open windows and use an air freshener when she leaves.Maybe someone else will solve the problem for you as you can't be the only one who notices it. I had to work with someone many years ago who had a 'problem which intensified when and which others and myself all realised it was 'that time of the month'.

If the smell of urine is so strong as to be very noticeable it points to a chronic leakage problem and perhaps wayward urine which escapes any pads and settles in things like jeans or trousers which might not be washed very frequently.

I think I'd have to find a way of breaching the matter with her very gently. I'd have been mortified to find out that my own leakage problems was causing an odour which people had been too embarrassed to tell me about.

Just to add that sometimes leakage can be more of a gush than a dribble.

I do wish there was a post editing feature to correct typos with..