Strange male friend from the past

Kiki, in my opinion he is not acting like a friend. I have a good male friends, none of them talk about sex. I find your friend's behaviour downright strange and not in a good way.

Yes crazy h I am married , my husband is alive but not well , he is mega grumpy ( see previous post ) but I don’t intend to have an affair ; if you reread my post and indeed the title of my post , I am talking about a male friend no more

Hang on a minute....isn't the OP a married woman, whose husband is well and truly alive and kicking ?

Yes you are right , Facebook and the internet in general haven’t helped at all

Just in my opinion, this guy sounds creepy. Some people seem to have a weird instinct for when people feel vulnerable or lonely, he sounds like one of them. Run for the hills. I also would be making it clear to my sister NOT to give my phone number out to anyone, unless she has asked me first. Mind you, she perhaps thought it would be ok since you had known him before. People change over the years and I am not one for revisiting old acquaintances/friends. I don't see the point,surely if you are good friends,you stay in touch over the years. I blame Facebook for alot of this,it doesn't always end well.

Like others say ..beware . If he really is serious though - why ask you to return to another place .He should come to see you then you have the say in where you meet etc if that is what you want .

Kiki, I think you know not to be led by vanity which is so easy to do when you feel a lack of attention.

This old crush seems to have lost his glamour. He doesn't seem to be very exciting company. Do be careful.

i have tried to combat loneliness by joining some groups for instance I go to dancing class and Italian.

I imagine these are the classes to which Sussexborn is referring.

If you are missing male company surely there is something you could join nearer home. I found a group of men at the gym were good fun and often a few would stay for coffee and chat after their workout.

kiki2 You ask whether you should return to your country of origin to be with him?

Just suggest it to him or go and appear on his doorstep. You will not be able to see him for dust and small stones. He is using you for free telephone sex. He has chosen you just because you are married and living in another country so, he thinks, never going to come back home and confront him.

The fact that you say this relationship is episodic,to me confirms, that you are merely being used for free telephone sex.

End this communication now. Any idea that you have a relationship is a delusion. He contacts you as and when he wants cheap relief.

Bradfordlass. People can be odd and very perverse and while I am not necessarily suggesting that the OP is in her turn, so to speak, getting off on this relationship by telling others about it and perhaps hoping some people will be envious of it and her, it is, nevertheless, quite possible that some people might react like this and, as I said keeping this very creepy relationship going for 18 months, does suggest that this could be a possibility

Since then the OP has posted that this is not the case and I accept that.

Yep, block him Kiki

Totally block him! What a creepy ar......! Why would anyone not realise this guy is beyond weird verging on suspicious!

I'm sure he didn't tell kiki's sister he wanted to "chance his arm" as my mum used to say.
I'm not entirely sure it's his arm that's the problem though.

I also feel you should cut contact. He sounds odd.

I guess your sister shouldn't have given him your number in the first place but, if she knew that you were at school together, she may have thought it was not a bad thing to do. Hindsight can be a wonderful thing!

Weird this cut contact.

MOnica, why would you approve or be envious of creepy phone calls? Blimey!

I don't think you have told us everything either!!

But PLEASE don't.

Hello kiki2

I'm afraid I am of a very perverse mind and I also have a smidgen of experience in trying to get rid of persistent idiots.
Blocking the phone calls doesn't always work but it's good advice with which I agree.
The only trouble is, he knows where you are and he has you on a hook and is probably reluctant to let you go. How will he know your phone isn't just playing up?

If you talk again, this is what I'd do did

Tell him you had to see your doctor secretly because you're having a great deal of trouble 'down there' and your doctor has made an appointment for you at an STD clinic.
Of course you've had no diagnosis yet and haven't told your husband......

If he is self and sex obsessed, you will no longer appeal to him as a victim. Then block him.

Hi Monica no am not looking for your approval or envy and I can see why you think 18 months is worrying but it’s not all the time , it happens in like episodes if I can say , and yes I do see that I need to stop it now !!

I don’t understand your post at all sussexborn why does she want to meet up with her class where does that come into the scenario she hasn’t said anything about meeting others from her class am I reading a different original post

"A long time ago" and OP implies she now lives in a different country he keeps trying to get me to move back to my home country where he lives

Class in school MawB ( in the OP.)

What do you mean some people in your class ?

At least some of the people in your class are probably looking for company as well so be brave and suggest meeting up, before or after a meeting, to the group as a whole and see what reaction you get.

This man is a weird creepy manipulator but I think you know that.

I think you have 100% same advice on here Rare for everyone to be in agreement Run run and don’t look back
He’s getting off on your calls that’s why it’s gone on for 18months
Block him move on try harder with the groups around you